Lustful Hearts
Chapter 18: Apologies- P3

I flinched when he grabbed both hands, pulling me onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight. Our faces were barely inches apart as his eyes looked deep into mine.

He smiled as his hands cupped my face. Mine quickly covered his, keeping them in place. "Ever since the day we met, I've just wanted to protect and look after you. You were so young, always so quiet and mouse like.

Mike said from the start you were a no go, he would kill me if I ever hit on you. So I pretended like you were my sister, putting my thoughts about you to the back of mind. That's when the girls became a distraction." He dropped his hands and turned away, but not before I saw the flash of guilt in his eyes.

I pulled his face back to mine, prompting with my eyes to carry on. He let out a loud sigh, and his tongue flicked over his bottom lip. My hand still held his face as my thumb brushed over his cheekbone.

"I slept with them, but it was to avoid my feelings for you. The older you got, the cockier I became, wanting you to be disgusted by my behaviour. I thought it would make it easier on me if you couldn't stand me but over time it just got harder." He paused, taking a breath.

"Then when I saw you at the party, all the feelings I'd tried to keep locked away resurfaced. You just looked so beautiful, and I just wanted to sit and hold you that night... well until Mike interrupted us."

I pulled a face, still angry with Mike for breaking up our tender moment. He always had a way of unknowingly interfering.

"Then when you started coming to the pub to see me, spending more and more together, it made me realise I was falling for you. I wanted to tell you that day when you confronted me, but I was too scared of what the repercussions would be. I've missed you so much, the times we shared were everything I ever dreamt of. It was nice to have you to myself without Mike being there." He swallowed slowly, looking away.

I knew he needed a moment.

I continued stroking his cheek, allowing him all the time he needed. His eyes eventually locked with mine and he sighed, dropping his face down. "I knew I would screw up eventually and hurt you. I will never forgive myself for the pain I caused you." His eyes stared deep into mine, the guilt clearly evident. He quickly closed them, unable to look at me a moment longer.

My thumb skimmed over his perfect cheekbone, slowly brushing over his healed lip. He gasped, and his lips parted. I could see how much he reacted to my touch.

My heart was hammering deep in my chest. I dropped my hand down to his, feeling his rapid beat too. His eyes fluttered open, and I took in a sharp breath, seeing them mirror the love he held inside. "I love you too, Joel," I whispered. Relieved the words I'd kept secret for so long had finally been spoken.

He continued staring, too choked up to speak as we both got lost in the moment.

His thumb softly caressed my cheek, and my breath hitched when he slowly guided my lips onto his. The sparks flew the moment our lips touch. It was sweet and innocent at first as our lips moulded perfectly together enjoying the connection.

Then his lips parted, and I shivered. His tongue flicked over my lower lip ever so softly. I gasped with the sensation, softly moaning with delight. His tongue slowly slipped inside and began caressing with mine. Within seconds we'd found a natural rhythm, and my other hand automatically headed straight to his hair.

I'd fantasised for so long, imagining how good it would feel running through my fingers. It didn't disappoint, it was better than any dream I'd ever had.

I grabbed small handfuls of the silky, soft strands and grasped it tightly, losing myself in the kiss.

He moaned loudly into my mouth with my overzealous hair tugging.

Oh shit.

Trust me to ruin the moment.

I pulled away worried by his response, blaming myself for my overly keenness. Well I had waited a long time to experience it.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" I asked, feeling confused.

I thought hair grabbing was sexy?

Well, it was in all the films I'd watched.

He chuckled at my face. "No, Iz, I find it sexy. I was groaning in delight." He cupped the back of my head, pulling me in for another kiss. Both hands became lost in his hair, and we both groaned at the pleasure we were giving each other.

His hand slowly drifted down to my lower back, shifting up my vest top slightly so his fingers had access to stroke my bare skin.

The sensation sent shivers up my spine as his tongue hypnotised me with his sensual rhythm. I knew I was falling deeper, wanting more. My hands locked tighter into his hair, the intensity growing between us, my body felt like it was about to burst into flames.

God, I wanted him so bad.

Joel broke away first, panting hard. His hand held mine and my face dropped in confusion.

"Did I do something wrong?" I whimpered. Already missing his mouth against mine. I looked deep into his eyes, but he didn't respond.

He shuffled around before placing me back on the chair opposite. He walked over to the sink, filling a glass with water. He slowly sipped it and stared out of the window.

"Joel, what's wrong? Please tell me."

My heart was racing in blind panic.

He let out a huge sigh, leaning against the kitchen counter. His hands propping him up as his head hung low. I sat just staring, almost too scared to speak.

Had he suddenly changed his mind?

I didn't have the strength to undo this, to ever recover from this.

"Nothing's wrong, Iz. I just need to calm down. I was getting a little carried away. . ." he said, chuckling softly, his breathing still heavy.

My eyes dropped down to his boxers, and there it was standing to attention. I blushed realising how badly I affected him. Then blushed even deeper realising Joel had caught me looking at his package. Oh god, no.

He laughed walking back over, pulling me into his arms. "God, you're so adorable." He chuckled, kissing my cheek. I nuzzled my face into his neck and gave him a soft kiss, tucking my head under his chin. We stood enjoying the comfort of being wrapped tightly around each other as he kissed and stroked my hair.

I was in heaven.

I slowly melted into him, his delicious scent was overpowering. I sagged slightly in his arms, and he pushed away slightly. I frowned the moment his arms left my body, mourning their loss. "Right Iz, we need to get you to bed."

Oh god.

I felt my face flush.

Every fantasy I'd ever had instantly flashed inside my head.

He laughed, placing both hands on my face so I was staring into those adorable blue eyes. "Your bed, Izzy, you've got such a dirty mind sometimes." He playfully shook his head and I laughed, he was just teasing me.

"Just one more hug, and then I'll go quietly," I pleaded, pouting my lips slightly.

He sighed when I nuzzled my face back into his warm, hard chest as his strong arms cradled me.

This was everything I'd ever wanted, ever desired.

This was where I truly belonged.☐☐☐☐☐☐☐

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