Who is Magpie?
Chapter 102- A deeper pain

It was the middle of the night when people moved into the dimly lit room to deal out the next pointless beating. No one had come to release the short chains so they could sleep on the floor, and they hadn’t expected them to.

Jessamine was so tired the smart ass response just fell from her mouth before her eyes even opened. “I hadn’t expected midnight foreplay my first night back, but if another one of you grabs my tit or slaps my ass I’m liable to get the wrong idea.” By the end of it she was growling, fangs bared and claws begging for someone to get near her hands.

She immediately had the hose turned on her and she was doused with cold water long enough for her to regret what she had said when she was tired.

When they were done with that she was freezing, trying to keep her teeth from chattering together. Kai had been woken up to beatings alongside her, but Kay had been woken up to a sound like bags of oranges being smacked against a wall. When the room had sort of calmed, Bluejay returned with another growler of the tea. Kai was begging to take it, but this time Bluejay didn’t even offer it.

Someone closed her nose while her jaw was forced open to place a funnel in her mouth. That same amber liquid toppled out of the bottle faster than anyone but a fish could swallow, and Jessamine choked and gagged like she was being drowned. Kai tugged uselessly at the chain, grunting out loud that he couldn’t reach her. Again the liquid covered her face, hair and body, entering her eyes to basically blind her again, until the natural fluids of her eyes could work the spices free.

When the jug was empty, the funnel was removed and Bluejay grabbed her face. As his thumb curled around to pull her lip, she bit him and he ripped the appendage free. He promptly back handed her across the face and a small amount of blood started running from her nose.

“Bluejay you are a right and proper bitch, did you know?” Jessamine asked. “I have never resorted to backhanding someone, even when angry.”

“How would you know? You didn’t even know you had a child. How is it that you believe you would know how you hit.” Bluejay scoffed but some others around them paused.

No one had said she had a child before, and they wondered where it was, knowing she had been with them since she was a teenager. Kay nearly went white in the corner imagining a small Jessamine running around without her.

“Is this the business of the Fae now? Separating families and torturing those who have never even looked to harm us?” Kay demanded.

Bluejay scoffed. “They are wolves Burra! Wild animals? They would sooner tear your throat out than..”

Jessamine snarled. “I would never! And they would never. I don’t know if you know but I’m a…”

“What? ‘A Luna’, you think you have pull now? That you can change what they are? It’s been a sennight since the fires, they already have a new Luna. The full moon was yesterday.” Bluejay grinned, and for a second she wondered.

She shook her head. “They love me, they wouldn’t…”

“Willingly do that?” Bluejay interrupted again. “No of course not. From what I hear it was quite painful to separate the bond from you, but how’s that pain in your chest now? Lighter?”

She opened her mouth, but hesitated. The pain was less. It had been getting worse until she bonded with Azural, and then much worse after leaving him too, but now she could barely notice it. Jessamine felt sick.

“Don’t listen to him!” Kai barked, but someone hit him in the stomach and quieted anything further.

Bluejay snickered. “I’m telling you the truth Magpie. We made you strong, and they wanted strong pups. It’s for the best, they would have done it to your face if you had stuck around much longer and realized you can’t have puppies.”

“I what?” She paled further, the nausea definitely real. “I can’t bear children?”

He slowly shook his head. “Had you spayed after the first mistake. You’re sterile.”

A whimper tore through her and the tears began immediately. Bluejay was the only one in the room completely unaffected by the sound as the warbled whimpers continued passed her pressed lips.

He leaned in closely to her ear. “No one needs, or wants, a broken Luna. They only have one purpose, get as strong as you can to be chosen to have children. Even with as strong as you are, if you can’t have kids, you’re useless.”

She head butt him, making both their noses crack. The blood ran down her face, over her lip, and her eyes, red with irritation and sorrow, bore through the man she could barely see.

Through grit teeth she yelled. “Just get out and leave me to my misery.”

He put up his hands in mock defence to the girl still chained to a wall and turned to go. The others who were there had offered vaguely sympathetic looks before following him. The door shut and a bolt slid through it before Jessamine screamed.

Anguish laced every breath and the sobs she felt in her chest and her stomach sounded over even the beating of her heart.

“Jessamine…” Kay tried.

“Don’t.” Jessamine barely managed the single word as her chest heaved up and down.

“Luna…” Kai tried.

“Stop.” Jessamine could feel her sadness slipping into something like numb anger and defeat. “Even if the counsel isn’t telling them to replace me, I know how much they want children. If I can’t do that… they’re better off with someone else.”

“Jessamine..”

“Kai!” She interrupted, vaguely aware that this was the first time they had both used their names. “What hurts the most right now are things we cannot prove, or test, or find out for sure, and anything else you say will only piss those off watching.” She looked up into the camera in the corner. “They want me to hurt, to have nothing left so they can be all I have.”

“Jess…”

“Hush..”. She hissed. “You keep talking and they’ll beat you until you pass out or move you to another room.”

Kai kept his mouth shut but hated that he did. The pain in her cry broke something in his chest, something animal and something human. He was sure they were lying, but she would need to see the new pack doctor to know for sure.

“They love you,” he said suddenly speaking quickly before she could reprimand him. “I’ve known them my whole life, and they’ve never looked as happy as they did carrying you into dinner.”

A small flicker of warmth lit in her chest, but with it was the image of Bronx bleeding under her hands and her having to tell him and Ezekiel that she could never give them a family. Kai had hushed to her that Bronx still hadn’t woken up from the infection, and then she worried for Ezekiel.

“Azural was right,” she muttered to Kai, “they’ve only known me for a couple months, and the Martin was lying,” Kai and Kay looked at her, worried for her next words. “He won’t keep me until l’m old and grey. He won’t keep me the month. They’ll all move on” Her heart clenched in saying the words out loud.

Even as she did, she didn’t believe them, she had felt the bond they had but she hadn’t escaped the Garden the first time. The feeling of them forgetting her and finding new love was slightly less painful than imagining them fighting for years the way Azural had with the aches and pains of their bond starving, or feeling her die.

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