Ursanthropy
71. Embrace it

Doreen

I knew I was losing ground as I was fully aware of what was happening, yet I couldn’t fight the urge to let my body be consumed by the numbing substance. My body was against me once more, and I hated that! For the past few minutes I had been growling on the inside, trying to push my energy towards my limbs and eye-lids, to get my veins to wash out the tranquilizers as soon as possible! I even managed to half shift, where I could feel the fur on my back sprouting out, but it wasn’t enough to cleanse my body from the idiotic lifeless feeling.

Jack was roaring, I could hear that. But I could barely feel his presence in my mind. Slowly I was drifting away, no longer having the energy to fight it, like Jack had linked me numerous times already.

“Are you giving up so soon?” A wailing voice drifted by.

I managed to open my eyes, but all I could see was a blur of white.

“You are a Queen, haven’t you shown that already?” She wailed again.

I haven’t seen this woman, ever since we had packed up our things and went to this place. She had decided to not come with us, as she wouldn’t be of any use here. Besides, she had done her part, as she had explained to me that she didn’t feel herself to be any part of my life anymore. Not that she meant that as something harsh, but just because she is a witch, she could ‘feel’ her future somewhat. Don’t ask me what she meant by that, but it just made me sure that I would probably never see her again, and it had saddened me to hear her say that and to see her leave. We even had said our goodbyes and I actually saw her leaving towards a different direction. So, why is she trying to guide me now?

“Giselle?” I asked in my mind.

“Yes honey, now why don’t you burst out of your seems and shift into that marvellous creature?” She said and I scoffed. Well, I tried to scoff but only a soft moan came out of my throat. And if she already knew that I was in trouble, then she would know that I was tranquilized by I don’t know how many darts also, right?

“Five.” She answered cockily, and I wanted to slap her for it. “You haven’t been through all the pain at the ritual, to only be taken away this easily! Get up on your ass and listen to your mate!” She commanded me, ignoring my thoughts of hurting her.

I may not like the way she spoke to me, but she was right. I thought back to that moment of serenity when I managed to fight off the black bear in my ritual, where I had been able to find my true form and primal nature. It had made me feel so complete, so in synch with my own self, that I couldn’t let this be taken away from me, could I?

I don’t want to give up on a part of my life, soul and body, no matter how selfish that may be. I know that I haven’t been inhaling the gas yet, but there could be a chance of my father forcing to do that upon me, should I go with him.

So, while searching through my own mind I managed to find a spark of energy, a glint of determination that I needed to let grow into something bigger.

I knew that if I should let myself be taken, my father could find more ways to torment my people.

And the spark grew bigger.

I know that if I won’t return to my mate, the love of my life, he would be torn with loss.

And the spark grew bigger…

I know that if I won’t get myself free, my people would be without a Queen, and all that had happened today and tonight, would all be in vain. Everything on earth would just return to the way it had been, ever since the last King and Queen had perished.

And finally my spark was large enough to do something…

I could feel my veins getting fresh blood, my limbs getting free and my voice getting stronger. I don’t know of what I’m capable of right now, but I’m going to give it my all.

Jack

Slowly but certainly she was getting back to me. I don’t know how it could be happening, but she was fighting her own body against giving up. Soft growls where reverberating through her throat and chest and they were getting louder by the second.

I could see Damien’s face lit up in surprise as he saw his own daughter coming back to life. “This can’t be! She can’t fight this amount of tranquilizer!” He whispered, but I could hear it.

Some relieve washed over me, as I now knew that she hadn’t been taken down by the purple gas, but by something else. She was just heavily dosed by tranquilizers and she was strong enough to get back to me.

But she couldn’t be strong enough to fight her way through this completely, her body was broken down by the substance enough to make her exhausted. All she could do now, was distract her own father as he couldn’t believe what he is witnessing.

Doreen’s growls grew louder and now she managed to open up her eyes again. Her irises were red from the lack of energy, but still she found my eyes and never blinked. She focused on me as she pushed her arms against that of her father’s and he gasped from the power that she still possessed.

Cursing and tightening his muscles, Damien tried to keep his daughter close to him, using the strength of a dozen men, of which I still don’t know how he even had it, but it was to no avail. She just growled, her fur bursting out, growing herself larger to the point where she pushed her father away. Her bear slowly came forward with all the screaming and roaring that she emitted and everyone around us gasped in amazement.

She truly is magnificent in all her glory, even though she is exhausted, she is still one hell of a creature. But even in my amazing focus to her eyes, I lost my attention to everything around us, and a sudden growl and flinching of Doreen’s body, let me know that something was terribly wrong.

She dropped herself to the ground and behind her stood her father, no longer with a knife in his hand...

... as this was lodged in Doreen’s side now.

Immediately I jumped over her, raging fire through my veins pumped me up in anger! Damien wasn’t going to live through this, he must have known that, but even so, what he did just now was unnecessary. He didn’t have to hurt his own daughter! He only did this out of agony because of his own lack of success, out of jealousy towards us as he wasn't able to take her with him.

Justin

The moment I had breathed in that gas from the inhaler, I had felt a burn through my complete body. My eyes, skin and insides were being tormented with the pain of a hundred lashes. I had roared in agony when I was being held in his arms, in my non-biological father’s arms, until I had let myself drop down to the floor, while the knife was still against my throat.

But I didn’t care for that knife at all. My mind had gone numb from the sensation of losing something that I had been taught to fear for so long. Yet, the feeling of losing this, my other side, wasn’t relieving me in any way. At first I thought I was going to be happy to never have to fight the urge to shift ever again, but as soon as I had realised to have lost that part, I wanted it back immediately! The irony of truly knowing what you have, only when you lose it, didn’t falter to come up in my mind.

It was exactly that! I lost my bear, and now I was devastated because I never accepted my gifts. I was frustrated to have never listened to my own mind, but instead I listened to what Damien had brainwashed me with! But before I could have realised this, before I could even have touched and experienced what all the other shifters around the world had done for centuries, I had lost it already.

“Are you going to let your sister get through the same fate as you did?” Some woman yelled to me as I was still sitting against a tree. I believe this woman to be the same as the one that went to Doreen when she was talking with her father the first time. “Get up!” She yelled to me as she pulled my arm up, to get me on my feet. She wasn’t really angry, as I could see that on her face, she was just frustrated that I wouldn’t comply as fast as she wanted me to. “She has given up her own life to save yours!” She continued to yell and dragged me towards the direction that a few men had run off to, a few moments ago. “If you hadn’t been careless and captured by Damien, she could have fought him that moment!” She continued to scold me.

“What are you asking of me? I no longer have the strength to fight properly anymore!” I said defeated to her.

“So you are just giving up?” She stopped in her movement to drag me along and looked me in the eyes. “You can still run, fight and do whatever you can to save her! You owe her that!” She yelled and ran forward as fast as she could.

I sighed but I knew she was right. I have been training my whole life to fight and be strong, and even without the animal inside, I could perhaps still do something to get Doreen to safety. Quickly I followed the woman and it didn’t take much time for us to find her and everyone else.

A massive black bear was fighting him, my caretaker and abusive trainer, who no longer would be called father. And surrounding us there were plenty of hunters, other shifters, the woman who dragged me here and my sister. But worry instantly took over as I could see that she was lying naked on the ground, with the army knife lodged in her side!

I ran over to her, watching how she winced in pain, not trying to move her muscles as the large knife has probably penetrated some of her organs, I put my hands on her face. “Doreen, I’m so sorry!” I whispered to her, truly being devastated that I hadn’t been stronger, that I hadn’t had foreseen that the asshole was about to use something like that gas upon me. If I had, I could have prevented him from taking her, but as I hadn’t I had become a liability!

She opened her eyes and a soft smile appeared on her face. “You are sorry?” She whispered while grimacing from the pain in her side. “Justin, this isn’t your fault. Actually, I am sorry that he did this to you.” She coughed and wanted to grab at her side, where the blood was slowly seeping out. Luckily she was too exhausted to argue with me, when I pushed her hand away from the knife. If she had managed to move or touch it, she would have damaged even more of her insides.

Doreen was slipping in and out of consciousness, but in between two sleepy moments she tried to talk. She needed her strength and energy to stay alive long enough to get to a hospital, so I tried to shush her several times.

Meanwhile, the bear was still fighting Damien as he tried to run away, jump into trees and what not more. I know he was strong, as I had been fighting him myself, but he couldn’t keep it up against a full grown Alpha bear, could he?

“He needs your help.” Doreen suddenly whispered.

“What?” I asked her in disbelief, pointing my gaze towards her again.

“It’s still there.” She continued, creating more confusion with me. Her face contorted in a mix of pain and a smile, right before she slipped away again.

“What is? Doreen!” I nearly yelled to her in frustration, but I didn’t get another response. She had slipped away.

“Embrace your inner creature.” Her angelic voice sounded in my mind, right before she passed out.

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