Undying Hate~ Book Three
Chapter 11

The cries of agony rebounded between Rosie and Natalie as the spear that impaled their abdomens forced them to stagger unevenly and tear their wound wider.

“Rosie!” Rowan spun and dropped beside them as they toppled, pushing them together to stop the gaping hole from growing while Sylvie wriggled out of Elias’ grip. His breathing turned harsh as he stood over her shaking form.

“Damn. Missed.” Hayes chuckled as he sauntered from the trees, another spear in hand.

In a blink, he threw the second one into Natalie’s back, and she stopped moving. The world halted for Sylvie then, her emotions rushing and twisting through her like wildfire.

Hayes chuckled again, admiring his fingers as her tear-filled eyes flicked from him to her friends. Her chest burned until every inch of his skin felt electric.

At that moment, she had clarity. He had to die, and she was going to kill him.

As if a switch flipped, she changed. Her teeth stretched and tore through her gums, her jaw elongating and deforming as she stood, dragging Elias to stand behind her. Her fingers broke and grew into claws, a light auburn hair coating her arms and face. Everything came into focus, from Hayes’ falling expression to the floating pollen particles in the stippled light.

“You’re fucking dead!”

She dug her feet into the ground and lunged for him, swiping off the hands that reached for her. Hayes turned and ran when she latched onto his leg, burying her teeth into his thigh and clenching her jaw until the muscles snapped off the bone. A world-shattering hit cracked against her skull, and she let go as Hayes hobbled away.

“Get back here, you bastard!”

Rowan scooped her into his arms as stars stole her vision for a moment, and in the deafening quiet, she wished for death.

Rowan’s shouts drew Sylvie’s deteriorating mind back into focus, her head whipping towards him.“Calm yourself, Sylvie. Don’t lose control.”

“Let go!” Her garbled voice sounded foreign to her ears, the animal overpowering the person.

Was she even a person anymore?

She was a monster.

She stared at her clawed hands and used them to rake at her hideous face.

She was a monster.

And now closest friends were dead.

“They’re going with Kian to Amira now. They aren’t dead, Sylvie. Come back to me. Elias, stay back. I have her-”

“Don’t tell me to stay away from her. She is my wife!”

“And she is my mate! Go help Kian.”

“Don’t look at me!” She tore flesh from her arms, and Rowan restrained her wrists before lifting her and dragging her fighting body to the open portal. Kerensa stood beside Kol, both wearing similar looks of uncertainty. She must’ve looked disgusting. What had she become?

“Look at me-” Rowan ran through the portal and landed with her in his arms on the other side, his body pinning her down. “Look at me!”

“Get off,” she moaned, trying to hide.

“Sylvie-”

“Get off!” she screamed, snapping at his face. He pulled back and ripped his shirt off before shifting into his giant wolf and baring his teeth.

Calm your beast, woman.

“I don’t have a beast, Rowan. I am one.”

Couldn’t he see? She didn’t have an animal in her like him. She was a disgusting impersonation of one.

Her body couldn’t even shift right.

Maybe Kol was right after all—the weakest of the three species.

If you hear the mind link, you have a beast, no matter what form she takes.

I can’t mind-link.

You can.

She stood and ran passed him into the bushes, letting her animal instinct take over. Nothing but loud huffing breaths and the stomps of her feet peddling rhythmically into the ground filled her ears. That was until gentle lapping drew her attention, her head snapping to the sound.

The lake.

She could float now; maybe she could just float away forever. As she spied the water’s edge, a black shadow appeared at her side, its golden eyes staring into her soul.

What are you doing?

“Go away, Rowan.” She eyed the water one last time and let the pain of Natalie and Rosie’s injury wash over her as she sank to her knees. Her body shook as her face contorted, and she buried it in her hands. The sobs took over, the sound horrific and animal making her cry harder. Maybe this was her future, stuck forever as a monster.

She curled into a ball as a shadow blocked the sun from above her. Pressing her hands into the earth, she searched for something, anything to end her pain, and found a bundle of root systems from the surrounding forest. Maybe she could sink inside them forever.

Disappear and not cause any more harm.

When a hot pair of hands lifted her off the ground and took the choice away, she struggled and cried.

“I’ve got you.”

Finally, she gave up, turning and snuggling into Rowan’s bare skin as her tears burned a trail down her cheeks.

She didn’t know when or how she turned back to normal, but her soft skin pressing into his brought her comfort.

Rowan sat propped against a tree and remained silent for a while as her breathing evened.

“Do you want to say goodbye?” he asked softly.

She shuddered and sat up, meeting his eye.

“What?”

“With the mind-link. You can say goodbye to her.”

“Who?”

Fat tears spilt over her lashline as Rowan stroked her cheek. “Natalie, baby. She’s lost too much blood.”

“No...”

“Think of her, and you’ll find her consciousness.”

“Is she awake?” Sylvie jolted upright as if to run to Amira’s place, but Rowan pulled her down.

“You won’t make it-”

No... If she hadn’t run away like a coward, she could’ve held her hand and said goodbye properly. “Mind-link her.”

“I can’t. I don’t know how!”

He held her to his chest and breathed into her hair. “Close your eyes.”

She sniffled and followed his voice.

“Picture her face, her voice, her touch. Bring her image to the front of your mind. Can you see her?”

“Yes.”

“From her, there should be a thread to her consciousness. Follow it.”

It took everything in her to hold onto the image as a faint voice spoke with her.

Sylvie?

It’s me, Nat. I’m sorry-

Why? You gave me the life I always wanted.

She shook and whimpered as Rowan held her tighter. Natalie was her longest friend, and she was gonna lose her. Who else would ask inappropriate questions and treat Sylvie like a normal person? It wasn’t fair.

It’s not fair

Life’s a bitch, and then you die, right? It’s good, Sylv. Just look after Rosie for me.

Even through the mind link, there was something in the way she said it; the sensation behind the meaning made more tears spill from her closed lids.

I will. Thank you for being my friend.

Thank you for forgiving me...

The thread disappeared, and Sylvie snapped back to her body as if someone had cut the cord. She jumped back in, looking for Natalie, searching everywhere for just a moment longer, another word, a goodbye.

She was gone.

“No,” her voice wobbled as Rowan kissed her head.

“She’s gone, baby. I’m sorry.”

“It’s my fault.” Her hands shook as she covered her face with her palms. Nothing would hide her shame for what she’d done. How could any of the shifters forgive her for that?

Rowan growled and unpeeled her hands, holding them in his as they trembled. “No, it isn’t. Hayes did this, and he will pay for it.”

How? It was too late. They couldn’t go back for weeks without risking her other mates’ lives, and without Kol, they’d never get back... And her bite... But he was royal. Elias said bites didn’t kill royals.

“B-but my bite w-won’t kill him...”

“No, but he will be weakened for weeks after a bite like that. I imagine you didn’t hold back any of your venom.”

She blinked and tilted her head back to meet his eyes. Being born into a world where everything she knew about shifters, vampires and fae came from fiction was starting to suck.

“Uh... I don’t think so. I don’t even know what I am.” She sat silently, ashamed of the egotistical thoughts that ran through her mind while she was still grieving. No matter what she tried to distract herself with, her mind wouldn’t stop replaying the faces of the people she loved seeing her beast. Kerensa had never looked so at a loss. Would she be able to see her the same after that?

“What are you thinking?”

She jumped a fraction and turned her head, resting the back of it on his chest.“It’s stupid.”

“Nothing you think is stupid.”

“Well, it’s disrespectful to her memory from its egotisticalness.”

“Natalie was the wildest turned shifter I’ve ever seen. I don’t think you could ever insult her memory.”

She sighed and snuggled into his arms, not letting him see her crumpling face. “Was I ugly?”

Rowan stilled beneath her, his heart rate pattering lightly against her ear.

“Are you serious?”

Her head hung as she realised his answer.

She was gross.

“Sylvie.” He gripped her chin and turned her head to look at her. “You were incredible. Look at me. It was exquisite. Truly. Your face was similar to a wolf, but your eyes were the same as when you use your fae abilities.”

She hated that his affirmation made her feel better, and the blush on her cheeks felt like a betrayal. Grief was a crazy fucking thing.

Rowan pulled her to her feet and held her hand as they returned home. A few times, she’d sob, and Rowan would hold her like nothing else existed in the world.

When they got home, Elias appeared and took her into his cool grip, the bags under his eyes, worrying.

“Rosie would like to see you. I’ve got you, kitten.” He thumbed her puffy cheeks as Rowan went inside Amira’s quarters.

“I should go too- See Natalie-”

“The shifters already took her body for the funeral,” Elias said, holding her tightly into his hard chest as she cried again. “They’ll perform the pyre tomorrow for her and Alastair.”

“Take me home, Elias.” Her voice was soft, almost completely gone after hours of weeping. He listened, though, without another suggestion or idea. He carried her to their room, showered and changed her, tucked her into their bed and climbed in beside her.

“Will you come?” Rowan stood at the door, all in black, hands clasped together. “No one will say anything if you don’t, but I thought I should ask.”

Sylvie sat crosslegged under the duvet, trying to avoid wiping her cheeks, the sensation similar to sandpaper after a fitful sleep of crying and rolling between the arms of her mates.

“Yeah, I will. When is it?”

“Sunrise.”

She looked out the window and contemplated the darkness. “Let me change.”

“Do you want help?”

She nibbled her lower lip and nodded, sliding from the mattress and accepting his outstretched hand.

“Do you have any black clothes?” he asked.

“Just an old suit. I don’t think it will fit anymore.” Her muscles had grown, as had her height since she started working for Elias, and the one sadness she had about it is she couldn’t fit any of the beautiful clothes he had bought her.

“I’ll ask Rosie-” He turned and went to untangle their fingers, but she gripped him painfully tight and gasped.

“No. Don’t bother her.”

Elias and Kian walked through the bedroom door as Rowan sighed. “She doesn’t blame you at all, you know. She loves you, Sylvie.”

Sylvie scrunched her eyes shut to stop another bout of tears when something warm was placed in her hands. She opened her eyes and saw Kian retreating after placing a burrito in her hand.

“Eat,” Elias said then, a garment cover draped over his arm. It trembled a little, and her gaze shot to his face.

He was hiding something behind his stoic expression.

Number one was how he managed to magic up the garment she needed in less than a second. “There’s a dress in here that will fit you when you’re finished.”

He handed it to Rowan. “Rosie asked me to bring it to you.”

“Oh god.” She felt sick. How the fuck could she face her?

“You can do this.” Kian nodded from the door and left without another word. She’d have to address his weird distancing later.

“Okay,” she sighed, taking a tiny bite from the corner of the burrito, ignoring the rolling in her belly. “Give me a few minutes.”

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