To My Shattered Soul
Captive State

I wanted to know his strange story, the things that’s been happening to him made me curious.

I wanted to know why he messed up his beautiful art, I was always drawn toward art pieces but his art was something really different I didn’t know why drawing with green color was a problem and if it was, why he kept repeating such mistakes but I found it attractive.

But I knew one thing, he wasn’t the kind of a person who easily opens up to others but on the other hand, he wasn’t so hard to be reached, the only thing that came into my mind was “I should know him better first”

One day I asked him “Do you hear voices?”

He rolled up his eyes, not in a rude way but as if he was trying to concentrate “Voices? What voices?” He asked.

“As if someone is talking to you?”

He smiled and nodded “The only voice I hear is the loud messed up noise of my own brain” He winked “What do you hear?”

“I heard my mother talking to me another day, and today I think I heard my father talking to my mother he said something like ‘No sign of movement’ I don’t understand why there are so clear voices in my head”

He was listening to me very carefully “Maybe these are your memories?” he asked, but that didn’t make any sense.

“I remember we hardly had any family moments! Clearly! Besides why would they say such things, that doesn’t make any sense” and he agreed with me.

“And you won’t believe what I felt, leave it! It’s just silly! You will think I’ve lost my mind” I stared at him and then started blinking like crazy.

“Being normal is overrated so… Try me” He shrugged.

So I gathered the courage to speak because what I was about to say was completely weird.

“Yesterday, It felt like I had taste in my mouth! As if I had porridge” I bit my lips knowing he would laugh at me or say something that would make me mad, but to my surprise, his answer left me speechless.

“Maybe we will figure it out with time? You know what my mom used to say?” He sat in front of me on the bed I sat down on the floor to listen to him.

“If something is happening and no matter how hard you try but it doesn’t make any sense then let it happen because, in the end, it will make sense, this is what she said and I’ve kept this here all my life” He pointed to his head.

“This is the reason why I keep going even after failing tons of interviews,” He said, and I believe he was right, maybe I should too stop overthinking about things and just let them be.

He could clearly see how bored I was in there so he wanted to help me feel a little better in that ‘Captive State’ This is what he used to call that glass room, the point is, I was really bored, especially when he wasn’t around.

So he was thinking about making things a little better for me, Oh no! I totally missed that part when I was going to tell you that I lived in Kansas with my family and last night Peter told me I was in California in his house, he kept saying “I’m gonna show you around” Dear silly Peter totally forgot I can’t get out.

He placed the laptop again on the bed closer to me and connected the webcam with it after a while he walked away and asked me to check if I could hear him and we were all set.

He showed me around, he kept it connected to the laptop and I was a little confused about how he did that because of all the bills he was making and the phone battery he was wasting. I can only imagine what he was going to face afterward.

Whatever! I needed it, and he knew it, no one can stay in there forever.

He introduced a few closest points to his house, “See a fountain!” He ran toward it.

“You know what are these fountains for?” He asked and before I could answer it seriously he leaned sideways and started drinking the water “If you’ve been to a fountain and never did that? Then congratulations you have wasted your entire life” He wiped his mouth with his cuff.

The society where I was born never saw such acts quite admirable we were strictly told not to act like a child even when we were children.

Just because of our family background, but it didn’t make me stop Peter I just watched him behaving like a kid and it was fun, we were laughing like idiots.

I don’t think I’ve ever laughed like that in my life. He had a burger on the way, he went to a park, played with kids and I was watching everything.

Even when I was watching it all from behind the glass, for a time I almost felt like I was standing in that park watching them play and laugh.

Thank you, Peter, for making me feel alive, even for a day, you made a memory that I can hold on to for the rest of my life, well if... I was alive!

Because in my entire life even when I used to go out I was a prisoner inside my own body, while here? Even after spending a few days behind the glass, I was feeling free as if this was the real me, the person I wanted to be.

I had no one around who could keep an eye on me. Where I go what I do! How much I spend, and how well I maintain my look throughout the entire day.

I could lay on the ground without anyone pulling my strings. This is what I would call “Living” and like every other day, that day passed too, Peter returned home, he was tired so he had to sleep early and now there was that part where I had to try and fail to fall asleep.

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