CLAUDIA

“Should I stay or go?”

I stand in front of the mirror. The purple dress I’m wearing is fitted and accentuates my shape. I’m not thin, but curvy. I love my shapely legs and hips. And I’ve never felt insecure about my figure. I have my red hair down, falling on each side to frame my face. My makeup looks natural and I’m wearing my favorite red lipstick. The only reason I hesitate to attend this birthday party is that Raquel invited Artemis, and we can’t be in the same place together without having an uncomfortable moment. Though I’m hoping he won’t show—social events aren’t his thing. Perhaps he’s afraid that if he socializes for too long with others his defenses might just melt. I smile to myself at the possibility. Damn iceberg.

I’m determined not to let him affect my social life, so I make my way over to Raquel’s house. I will not let him take away my chance to share this very special day with her. I like her a lot and it was nice of her to invite me. I find a side door ajar when I arrive and make my way in. I run right into Raquel, who smiles at me, carrying a tray on her hand.

“Hey! You came.”

Her smile is contagious.

“Indeed! Happy birthday.” I offer my gift but her hands are full.

“You can put it on the table over there. The guys are in the back.”

I can’t stop myself from asking. “All three?”

“Yeah. Go ahead. I’ll join you after I pass this food around.

Okay?”

I place Raquel’s gift on the table next to the others and make my way to the garden. As soon as I arrive I spot Raquel with Daniela, Apolo’s girlfriend. They stand next to each other, staring at something. I join them, and notice they’re watching Artemis and Apolo, who are surrounded by a group of girls.

“Who are they?”

Raquel jumps, clearly startled by my sudden appearance.

“Those are my cousins,” she explains, letting out a deep breath.

I purse my lips. “I need a drink.”

Daniela feels the same way. “Come with me. I know where the vodka is.”

“Hey, go ahead and enjoy yourselves.” Raquel gives us a thumbs-up. Daniela and I exchange a look in agreement, and we each grab one of Raquel’s arms and drag her along with us.

Vodka shots come and go, and I’m enjoying myself. I feel quite at ease with Raquel and Daniela. The only friend I have is Gin, so any opportunity I get to hang out with other girls makes me happy. I’m not saying that Gin’s company isn’t enough; it’s just nice to talk with different people.

We sit in a corner of the courtyard. Raquel leaves our side every so often to spend time with other guests, which doesn’t bother us in the least. After all, this is her party and we don’t want to keep the birthday girl all to ourselves. In the end, she always makes her way back to us after she’s done playing hostess.

“Cheers!” Dani raises her glass. “To the stupid brothers Hidalgo!”

I join their cheer. I truly enjoy the great vibe I get from these two girls.

“Cheers!”

Dani grumbles after finishing her drink. “Look at her. She’s making eyes at him, putting on an innocent act to snare him.”

I follow her gaze to Apolo. He and one of the girls are alone together, talking. I examine the girl from afar—she has a baby face and appears younger than him.

“Nah. I don’t think he’s into her. She looks about his age, and Apolo tends to like girls who are a little older than him.”

I’m not saying this because he was confused and tried something with me; I just know him. Even though Apolo is young, he’s very mature for his age, so he’s always been attracted to girls who measure up to or exceed his level of maturity.

Dani looks hopeful. “Really?”

“Without a doubt. Apolo, unlike his siblings, has always been easy to read.”

Raquel shoots me a curious look.

“You mean Artemis, right?”

I smile in response to her question. Her inquiry doesn’t end there.

“Do you get along with him?”

I glance at the iceberg and watch him as I speak.

“He is . . . someone who can be difficult.”

“Oh shit,” Dani mumbles, getting my attention. “Is there something going on between you and Artemis?”

I burst out laughing when I notice Raquel biting her nails.

Her curiosity is adorable. My eyes move from her to Dani, aware they’re waiting for me to answer.

“It’s complicated.”

“It’s complicated,” Dani repeats, shaking her head. “Don’t give me a relationship status line from Facebook.”

“Let her be, Dani.” Raquel saves me from the interrogation.

I stop talking when I see Ares, Apolo, and Artemis casually walking in our direction. Ares says something to Apolo, which makes him laugh and shake his head. Artemis shoots them a tired look. I give myself permission to give Artemis a lingering look.

He has a black suit on, no tie, and the top buttons of his shit are undone. His hair is combed back, and his light scruff accents his strong jaw.

“Do you mind if we sit with you?” Ares asks when they reach us.

Ares sits down with Raquel, and Apolo sits next to me, which prompts Artemis to take the spot on the other side. Very mature, iceberg. Ares takes Raquel’s hand and gives it a quick kiss.

“What are you all drinking?” he asks.

“Just a little vodka,” Dani responds.

Apolo extends his hand to Dani. “May I have some?”

Artemis raises an eyebrow and Apolo pulls his hand away. I roll my eyes and give my glass to Apolo. “Take it.”

Artemis twists his lips. “Claudia.”

I smile at him. “Loosen up a little, iceberg.”

“Iceberg?” Raquel asks.

“Yeah. That’s what she calls him.” Ares laughs.

I gesture at Artemis with my hands. “Can’t you see how tall and cold he is?”

Artemis purses his lips. “I’m right here.”

Raquel laughs heartily.

“That’s a superoriginal nickname,” she adds, giving a thumbs-up.

I take a bow in an exaggerated and mocking way.

“Thank you, thank you.”

“We should play Never Have I Ever,” Raquel suggests.

I don’t think that’s a good idea. But how can I say no to the birthday girl? We all share a look and she raises her glass. “I’ll go first.”

It’s a long wait until Raquel starts the game. She’s deep in thought, and I suspect she’s thinking of something that involves Ares, because she can’t stop staring at him. She’s crazy about him, isn’t she?

It truly makes me happy that Ares’s first love is so real and pure—he deserves it. It’s about time he met someone who showed him there are good women left in the world. Women who can be trusted blindly and who are worth a chance.

“Raquel?” Ares’s voice seems to bring her back. “We’re all waiting.”

Raquel begins. “Okay, for those who have never played, it’s like this: if I were to say ‘Never have I ever eaten pizza,’ and you have, then you drink. You don’t need to explain anything, just have a drink if you’ve done the thing mentioned. Or not drink, if you haven’t. Everyone gets a turn. Is that clear?”

Okay, that can’t be that bad.

“Never have I ever watched porn,” Raquel declares.

Uh-oh. This game is not as innocent as I thought it was going to be.

We all share a look, feeling slightly awkward, and we each take one drink. Ares has a wide smile plastered on his face. He drinks and raises an eyebrow, waiting for Raquel to have a drink.

She blushes the moment she takes a sip. This makes me laugh.

And now it’s Dani’s turn. She looks slightly unsure, then her eyes fix on me. I’m not getting a good feeling here.

“Never have I ever kissed someone standing in this circle.”

Dani takes a drink. So do Ares, Apolo, and Raquel. I hesitate and play with my glass. I look over at Artemis but he avoids my gaze and takes a drink, so I do the same. It’s sheer torture thinking of his kisses. For the first time in my life, it felt so good and so right—our lips fit perfectly, as if they were made for each other. I need to stop my mind from wandering back to that night. It was a fleeting moment. He had some fun before getting back with the girl he wants to be with.

And now it’s Apolo’s turn.

“Never have I ever lied by claiming I’m not interested in someone, when truth be told, I’m dying to be with that person.”

Ares smiles and shakes his head. “That’s deep, bro.”

Apolo, Artemis, and Raquel don’t drink but Dani does.

Shortly after, everyone is staring at me while I play with my glass, again.

“Claudia?”

I can feel Artemis’s stare on me. I give him a tortured smile and proceed to take a drink.

It’s my turn, at last. I shoot Ares a playful look, and he seems worried. “What?”

I clear my throat. “Never have I ever stalked the person I know is stalking me, and smile like a fool every time I see them.”

Everyone turns their heads to look at Ares, who grins.

“Showing no mercy, huh?” He drinks. I’m amused by the look of surprise on everyone’s face.

It’s Artemis’s turn, and I stop breathing for a second. I know him. He was drinking before he came here. His eyes are bloodshot and have a slight twitch. This means trouble. That volatile, unfiltered part of Artemis only comes out to play when he’s had too much to drink.

His tone is cold. “Never have I ever kissed two guys presently sitting in this circle, and caused a fight between brothers.”

Silence.

I knew it. My chest tightens in reaction to his words, aware of how deliberately he’s trying to make me uncomfortable. Everyone looks around, wondering who will take a drink.

Artemis raises his glass at me. “Aren’t you going to drink?”

Every cell in my body vibrates with rage. I grip my glass and throw its contents in Artemis’s face.

“You’re a goddamn jerk.”

I get up and make my way through the middle of the circle.

I don’t want to create a scene at Raquel’s birthday party. It would be too mortifying.

“Claudia, wait.” I hear Apolo’s voice behind me, but I keep walking.

The night breeze brushes my skin, and the wind blows my hair back. My eyes are burning. I don’t want to give Artemis the pleasure of seeing me hurt like this, shedding tears because of his stupidity. He’s not worth it. To be frank, what bothers me most is that I was just starting to form a friendship with Raquel and Daniela, and given the fact that it’s hard for me to make friends, he just ruined my chances. It’s likely that Daniela might hate me.

As for Raquel, I’ll become the girl who fools around with two brothers. I want to hit him so badly, and hurt him emotionally in so many ways. But I know that won’t solve anything. Although it would be extremely gratifying to kick him in the balls—maybe he would learn not to be such a jerk.

I lock myself in my room. My mom watches me from her bed.

“You’re home early.”

I make an effort to smile.

“Yes. I had a lot of fun.” I answer while removing my earrings and necklace.

I change into my shorts and T-shirt pajama set, then lie down next to my mother.

I can’t sleep.

For what feels like hours I stare at the ceiling in the dark.

Pent-up rage courses through my veins, making my heart beat fast and clouding my mind. I need to shake him out of my system so I can get some sleep, but my brain refuses to cooperate.

How could he embarrass me like that in front of everyone?

Does he not feel an ounce of consideration? Or respect?

A faint sound of shattering glass jolts me from my bed. I look over to my mom and she’s still sound asleep.

I run out of the room, and just as I’m about to enter the living room, I hear Ares speak in a worried tone, so I stop and remain hidden in the hallway.

“Apolo, you need to calm down.”

Apolo sounds furious. “I’m telling the truth. Just look at Claudia.”

I grab hold of my chest and back against the wall, listening carefully.

“It’s no secret that I’ve always liked her but although she won’t admit it, she only has eyes for that idiot I call brother who treats her like shit.” He laughs sarcastically. “And after all I’ve done to win Daniela’s heart, what happens? She rejects me. I should be like you two, admit it. I have no fucking idea why I thought acting and being the total opposite would turn out better.”

“Shut up. Don’t ever say shit like that again.” Ares sounds determined. “You have no idea how lucky you are that you didn’t turn out like us. How I wish I could be more like you and get the girl I love without putting her through so much along the way, without having to face so many fears, without having to fight my inner self every time I want to show her a small sliver of how I truly feel.”

“But I always get hurt.”

“That’s a risk we all take in love.”

“Let me go. I don’t want to cry in front of you. I know what you think of anyone who cries over girls.”

“I’m a different person now, Apolo. If you need to cry because your heart is broken, go ahead. Men cry too.”

“I opened my heart to her. I know I’m not experienced, but I gave her all of me. And it still wasn’t enough.” Apolo’s voice sounds so broken.

I listen to Apolo openly sobbing, and my heart breaks into a thousand pieces. I can’t believe Daniela turned him down; she seemed crazy about him. I don’t get it. I hear footsteps, and I suspect Ares is taking Apolo upstairs to put him to bed.

I go back to my room but it’s obvious I won’t be able to sleep unless I do something to find a release.

When was the last time I had sex?

Come to think of it, it’s been months. I haven’t had a sex life since Artemis came back to this house. And why is that? It’s not like he deserves any kind of loyalty. What Apolo and I shared were kisses and touching. It wasn’t full-on consuming and draining sex, the kind that leaves you worn out and elated after an incredible orgasm.

Feeling restless, I pick up my phone and scan through the countless texts from Daniel. Maybe it’s a mistake to reach out to him, but I have to admit he’s the best I’ve had so far. The fact that he’s a soccer player helps—his endurance is impressive.

I text him a simple hello, and he immediately responds.

Daniel: Hello.

Me: What are you up to?

Daniel: I just dropped off my drunk sister at home, and I’m heading to meet some friends at a bar. Why?

Me: I want to see you.

Daniel: Really? I admit, this is a surprise.

Me: I enjoy surprising you.

Daniel: Oh yeah? Do you want me to pick you up?

Me: If you want.

Daniel: Want? With you? Always.

Me: Great. It’s a plan.

Daniel: I’ll pick you up in 20 minutes, babe.

Me: Perfect.

I take a quick shower then put my purple dress back on but make sure to wear sexy lingerie underneath. Every time Artemis pops into my head, I push him out. Instead, I picture him fucking his fiancé, so that he won’t spoil my one night of great sex. I head out of my room dressed and made up, looking for a drink of water before I leave. I nearly have a heart attack when I’m startled by Artemis sitting in the dark, like a ghost, at the kitchen table.

“Shit!” I blurt, putting a hand to my chest.

I don’t want to deal with him, so I turn around and go to the living room. I hear his footsteps right behind me.

“Claudia, wait.” He grabs me by the arm but I slap his hand off me.

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

“I’m really sorry, I’m a jerk. I don’t know what came over me.

I—”

“Stop.” I raise my hand. “Save your apologies. I don’t want to talk to you, Artemis.”

“Please forgive me. I lost control. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“What do I have to do to get you to leave me alone?” I ask, not hiding the anger in my voice. “Let me be in peace.”

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, hanging his head.

If it wasn’t for my raging anger, I would accept his apology.

“Whatever. Just go to sleep.”

“Where are you going at this hour?”

I ignore him and walk to the main door. He moves to stand in my way, forcing me to take a step back.

“Let me through, Artemis.”

“Where are you going?”

My phone rings in my hand, and he watches me intently when I answer.

“I’m outside,” Daniel says.

“I’ll be right out, just give me a minute.”

I hang up and Artemis cocks his head.

“Who was that?”

I don’t know how to make him understand that this is none of his business. That I want him to leave me alone. And that his indecisiveness only complicates my life. So I reply, holding my head up.

“My boyfriend.”

I wasn’t expecting the look of hurt I see overtake his face.

“You’re lying.”

I shrug. “I really don’t care if you believe me or not.”

He holds me by the arms.

“Look me in the eyes, Claudia. You’ve never lied to me. Please don’t start now.”

“I’m not lying,” I respond coldly. How dare he ask for honesty after everything that he’s put me through?

He releases me, looking defeated.

“You had your chance and you wasted it, Artemis.” I make this very clear. “I’m not waiting my whole life for you when you can’t even bring yourself to acknowledge the feelings you claim to have for me right now. Good night.”

I bid him farewell, leave the house, and get into Daniel’s car.

My heart aches but I need to turn the page. I can’t put my life on hold for someone who won’t fight to make me a part of his. It’s not worth it.

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