Thirsty for him
14. When love turns into hate

Varnic and I ran and ran through the woods with my long black hair blowing behind us, hoping no one could hear or smell us.

How we did it, we don’t know, but we ended up in my house unharmed and alive, for now. He looks at me and I look at him.

I knew Dad wasn’t going to be there tonight and I did something reckless and invited him to come with me to my bedroom. It’s not that he hasn’t been there before or we haven’t made out more, but now everything is even more heated between us. Then it was before and this could become very dangerous between us. What makes me ignore the alarm bells in my head and not hear them go off, I don’t know.

I want him and I want him now! In my room, we are all alone. Father is gone all night and Diana is still so devastated by Hollister’s death that she doesn’t care who I take with me.

He stood there silently leaning against my door, after he closed it looking straight at me which made my blood start to race through my veins.

We stand not far from each other with the battle fighting silently between our eyes. My feet go without noticing him with the sentence remembering of the book; that the pulse is going to overpower one time. Then the question about if we could be pregnant of the kind we have to kill.

Lucy was pregnant in the last sentence of the page? Does the baby still live? I must find a way to ask her, but not tonight. Tonight I wanted to be with Varnic. He takes my face in his hands and kisses me tenderly until he leads me to the bed. Where he pushes me down and comes to sit on me with his lips on mine. His kisses make me desire him even more with the water running into my mouth for him.

I push him off me and take charge by sitting on top of him, staring into his big yellow eyes. I can feel my teeth getting sharper and more dangerous with the more hunger he begins to give me. Every limb of his body is looking more delicious by the minute. Is this perhaps because tomorrow is the day? The day I am going to kill him. The calculated day that our love and this bond dies with him. My love is probably going to make me a tormented one. The chills build up, afraid for myself, afraid of what I might do to him.

Varnic is not in the least affected by my gaze or the sharp teeth that could bite into his flesh every moment. He grabs my arms and the game between us continues as he takes back the lead.

“Varnic this is crazy. We don’t know what we’re doing.” I try to make it clear to him that this could be the stupidest thing we can do. “I don’t want to die until I have you as my own. This would sound so sweet and tender if he didn’t pull out his fangs and bring them to my neck to bore his teeth into my skin. The pain is not so bad as he continues more quietly now and only makes a cut, making my head spin and I lose myself in us.

I moan softly grabbing him by the side of his hair with my eyes now turning purple with the familiar black edge of our kind. Something I discovered not too long ago after one of those moments when I had looked in the mirror and studied myself.

He looks straight at me in my eyes. Caressing my face with his big hands with long graceful fingers like a musician. His caress feels soft and tender which makes me realize that he is looking beyond the animal that I am. He loves me, he loves the beast that lights beneath him. Willing and that all of him.

I sense his love for me as the beast I am and I know I love his as the beast he is.

With a jerk, he rips my black blouse off my chest. Which reveals my black simple bra. Which shows just enough, but not enough to give him a full view of my breasts. I release a sigh when he runs his teeth and his tongue over my tense body. Jerking my bra off in just one motion.

If he thinks that I will be the simple virgin, he is very wrong. I am indeed a virgin, but anything but simple. He brings out the worst in me. I stop his face when he wants to caress me further with his lips over my now-heated skin and at the same time yank his T-shirt into two pieces. Which falls onto the bed in shreds and makes him let out a big laugh.

Not much later we are lying together with only our heated bodies entwined, sweetly caressing. He puts on a condom as he penetrates me, turning me from this scary beast into a woman. I feel him inside me, which tears me up, and even makes us more connected. His, I am finally his. Never had anything felt so good, so tender so heavenly. Nothing could ever take this moment away from me again.

The next morning I wake up with Varnic next to me who is still sleeping. I look at his beautiful white head of hair on the pillow next to me. I let my gaze go to the other side where there is a clock indicating that it is already late in the morning. Shocked and panicked, I wake him up by touching his arm, causing him to look up at me. Then he also took a glance at the clock that stands a little further on my nightstand, “I have to go. Thanks for waking me up, Avery.”

Is that all? Okay, it’s late and we skipped out, but he had taken my virginity that night just like my love. Strange this feels, even insensitive as if last night meant nothing to him. He has hurt me by pretending this is just a fling for him. Even though I don’t show him this, I don’t show him what I feel.

“Before you go, will you be my date to prom tomorrow?” I ask him as he stands at the window, which he wants to jump out of, with his leather jacket under his arm, “Are you sure that it's a good idea? Tonight is the night, you know?” He asks me still in the same tone. The non-interested tone. I shrug to let him know that I don’t know what’s best.

I just had sex with him and he doesn’t even care that’s what bothers me but I want him as my date and take the gamble. He just looked once at me but didn’t answer as he threw himself out the window to land on his feet on the ground.

After a long day of going to school for my last exams and tasks. Restless I am at home in my room too tense to even think about sleep.

I am too tense for tomorrow and feel the need to delve more into the book to find out even more about what I am still capable of. With the text and the more I find out about this witch, a feeling indicates to me that she must be closer than I think. I let the last text go through me as I closed the book back up and put it in its place next to me on the nightstand. I let the text go through me, she must be somewhere near here. She doesn’t sound like a witch who would just let things take their course. On the contrary, if I were Merina, I would want to keep a very close eye on everything. So she can be sure that another successful sacrifice has happened.

Yet one riddle is stuck in my head that night; 'She’s lurking in the night but not in your street.'

At night I am startled to find myself panting as I sit up in my bed sweating. No, it can’t be true! My alarm goes off that morning and I immediately open my laptop on my desk and search the internet for what I suddenly realized in my sleep. I open the school’s website, where I take in all the information. Not much later it dawns on me and I am almost certain that I have found her.

I close my laptop, put down the book, and just close my eyes for an instant with a small smile on my face.

She was always in my mind, but I never looked closely enough. I go to the bathroom where I take a shower before positioning myself in front of the mirror and looking at my reflection. I smile at my reflection who suddenly blinks back at me. Shocked, I walk away thinking I’m going crazy.

I walk to my closet and pull out a skirt and a blouse. All black and purple as always but today I suddenly feel more like wearing red and throw the purple blouse back in the closet and take out the red colored blouse. When I am fully dressed I go downstairs where Diana is in the kitchen yelling at Dad 'that she is not a housewife cooking and cleaning.' I have to laugh at her comments because she is still cooking and cleaning, which she says she doesn’t want to do anymore.

Father does know how to convince someone, even his own daughters, to still take care of him. She hands me a plate and I sit down in my chair and eat everything before taking it to the dishwasher and heading to school.

In the school building, I walk through the hallways taking everything in. Looking at all the posters hanging on the wall, and all the lockers even the ugly color on the wall. Sighing, I consider that this is the last party I will attend at this school. But not only that, I have a tense feeling inside of me. No, I also have an idea who this witch might be, but tonight I will find out. Now I have to study her and pretend I am stupid and don’t even know she is looking at me. When I meet her gaze that follows mine. How could I be so blind?

The day is getting dark and I am home to change for prom. Again, I didn’t decide to put on the purple dress I picked out months ago for prom. No, I went to the other floor and searched Diana’s closet for just the one dress I wanted. She caught me wearing the dark burgundy velvet dress of hers that with the long skirt comes just short of the floor. It is cut out in a v between my breasts with all little shiny stones around. It also has an open back that makes the bare skin on my back shiver. My sister looks at me with an open mouth nodding at me to give her permission. This dress is pretty much made for my body and I just know I have to wear it tonight.

She did look at me angrily afterward when I took off the robe because I had just snatched something from her closet. My sister had her weird traits though this moment was the first moment in years that we stood over each other like two sisters. She took me into her bathroom to do my makeup and my hair before she nodded in approval. After I walk straight downstairs outside.

A little further I walk to the street after the walk in the woods to be able to take a cab to school. So as not to ruin my hair that Diana had just braided upstairs in her room into a perfect braid that fell on my right shoulder just not over my breasts. I see the cab arrive and want to get in until I hear something behind me. It’s a car honking at me. When I look I see Varnic sitting in the shiny gray car that looks like he just bought it at a car dealership. I just hope he didn’t steal it. The driver had also seen the driver behind me just like the look in my eyes. Smiling, he tells me that we young people should enjoy our youth and that he has other customers waiting for him with a wink at me. I smiled at the man driving the car away from Varnic’s.

“You look stunning,” Varnic says as he kisses me on the neck as I take a seat in the passenger seat. “Why are you doing this? Why were you so rude yesterday?” I ask him a little hurt by all the mixed feelings he makes me feel. “Avery, honey I was just upset that I wanted to bite you all the time but couldn’t. My dad has kept me from blood for a week and I’m really hungry."

This is what I’m most afraid of. I’m more afraid of eating him, I’ve never really been afraid of wanting to bite him or even eat him. I just had a feeling that I was different from the rest, how do I know? I don’t know if it started that night that I could stay up and not fall asleep like the rest and just like my prediction to be the guardian of the tormented was also something that none of us could do but me.

I am the only one who can control the tormented or even make them do anything. The only thing I can’t control is Varnic and how his family acts towards him. Deep down I was already afraid they would do this to him. He might kill me instead of me killing him, just for the sake of hunger. His father is preparing him to kill me and he knows it too.

“Stop the car,” I ask as he turns into a street where it’s so quiet it almost seems like everyone is asleep and knows what’s in store. “What is it?” He asks, as he turns off the car and the only light left comes from the lit light in the car between our heads. “Bite me,” I say causing him to laugh and look at me like I’m a fool. “No, I can’t,” he says and I do something reckless when I see a teenager walking in his suit dressed for prom. I open the door and want to go over to the boy and take him with me.

“No, Avery. I know what you want to do, but no I’m not like that,” He says as he grabs my other hand that is not on the handle of the car. He looks at me and takes both my hands in his. “I don’t eat from a human. I eat from the prey they take home. “The prey they take home? Do they take people to their houses and bite them? This is so strange, do they kill people? Why do I even wonder? They are cruel, why wouldn’t they? “They take people home and you drink from them? That’s even worse. How do they release them? Don’t tell me, I think I already know the answer.” He looks at me and then at the steering wheel, he grips it tighter then he looks up at me angrily. Why is he angry now? It’s because they killed my mother not too long ago. “You act like we love what we do! I hate it I only eat when I have to. I don’t even like it. We only eat in our group and we can’t eat outside of our group or we get exiled and then we have to hunt alone and not like your kind, we feel remorse for what we do.”

Is he really claiming that I like to eat them or that I like to eat vampires? Does he mean that we are rotten souls? Maybe so, but will the world be a better place without all those vampires? It probably will. We look at each other hurt and angry. This is the first time I don’t feel the butterflies I feel every time I’m with him, except for the thirst. I was just too angry with him. Can this break our marked bond? Until a force brings us closer again and pulls our lips together.

At that moment, I knew it was bigger than ourselves. We are actually angry at this point and not feeling the infatuation we normally feel, when we almost tear each other apart in the back of the car. He pushed up my dress and pulled down his pants. Then we did the same thing as yesterday and had sex in the back seat. Not the same as yesterday to be exact, yesterday we made love now it’s purely physical. It’s not that it didn’t feel great I did came for him, but it just made things between us more heated.

After he catches his breath, I feel his teeth again. “Do it!” I yell at him as I push my neck harder against his teeth. He pushes his mouth away from my neck causing him to hit my neck with his teeth just a slit. I feel the blood dripping from my neck and watch him stare at the blood dripping from my neck.

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