The Red Slayer
36 - The Unfixable

I catch up to Tara backstage when she goes back for her coat and bag. She turns to see me in the doorway and her shoulders drop with her sigh. Now she doesn’t have to put on a happy face, the tears flow freely down her cheeks.

‘You were going to ditch me, weren’t you?’ I say.

‘You seemed to be enjoying the spotlight. I decided to leave you to it.’

'That’s no excuse. You can’t just announce that you’re moving to Richmond in front of everyone and not expect me to be pissed off. You’re switching schools and cutting me out of your life without telling me.

She’s silent.

‘I know what it’s like,’ I say. ‘Michael does that to people. He makes places so terrible you never want to go back.’

‘It’s not just Michael I want to get away from.’

Tara pushes past me towards the stage door before the dressing room fills with an audience. I follow her until we’re outside. Her chaperone is waiting, motioning her towards the school gates.

‘Don’t walk away from me, Tara!’ I shout, running in front of them.

‘Miss St. Germaine—’ the chaperone begins.

‘Excuse me,’ I reply. ‘I am at least going to talk to my girlfriend before we officially break up. Give us five minutes.’

‘I knew you’d be like this,’ says Tara. ‘You can be so arrogant. You always act like you’re the one in charge. I guess that comes from being a posh knob with a famous mother.’

‘Don’t you dare bring my mother into this! I came to save you last night. I stopped you from being eaten by that thing. I killed it. Is that not enough?’

‘You didn’t come soon enough,’ she snaps. 'It was hours before you showed up. By then it was too late and now I’m a disgusting, killing thing.’

‘It wasn’t as simple as rushing without a plan. We had to plan it out. I’m sorry that I couldn’t save you sooner, but you didn’t turn too much. You could still live a normal life—’

'A normal life? Drinking animal blood? What part of veganism don’t you get? But what do you care? You eat animals all the time. I’m surprised you’re not a vampire.’

‘I have the abilities of one, but I’m human,’ I say. ‘It’s a long story, but it means fighting them is less challenging than it would be for most humans.’

She gasps with disgust. ‘You’re going to keep on fighting vampires? You nearly died.’

‘It’s either fight vampires and risk my life, or let them go on trafficking and harvesting innocent people.’

Tara shakes her head at me. ‘Wishful thinking. One person can’t change the world.’

‘I killed the first Feral to be created in decades and lived. That has to count for something. Sure, I didn’t manage it alone, but that’s why I have my team. Believe me, I’ve tried to go it alone, but they have my back no matter what.’

She huffs. ‘They’re brave. You’ll all get yourselves killed.’

I roll my eyes. ‘It’s better than running away from the world.’

Tara slips on her coat, glaring at me. ‘I’d rather run away from the world than stay and watch you destroy yourself. It’s bad enough that I was stuck in a hotel room all day being talked down to by total strangers, but then seeing you go about as if nothing happened is like a punch in the gut.’

‘What do you mean?’ I say, though I can already guess.

’I saw the pictures Kaarlo Rochester posted, with you tagged in them. Why would you meet up with him?’

'We just got our scripts for Beautiful Sins—’

‘That’s not the only reason. And I’m sick of watching you fawn all over him every time you think of him. And I could have probably lived with you working with him for that show, but with you going out to kill vampires too, you won’t have time for me anymore, and I can’t be bothered to wait.’

I don’t protest. I watch her cold eyes stare me down, trying to inject some sort of shame into me. But it barely scratches the surface. ‘Fine, go,’ I sigh. ‘I’m not going to force you to stay. But don’t, for a moment, think that I wanted you to get hurt. I never cheated on you with Kaarlo. I never thought Michael would do something so awful. I just want to do the right thing.’

‘You want to be a superhero, Iorwen, go right ahead. But don’t drag me into your train wreck.’

The five minutes are up. Tara’s chaperone stands between us and leads her off.

There are so many swear words I could hurl after her, but it would be a waste. I turn around and don’t look back as I head back into the school where my adoring public are waiting. Everyone and their mums have to put their hands on my shoulder and tell me how much they loved my song. I manage to find my way through them and reach Dad, who’s waiting with Elisa and my friends. Luke, who’s conspicuously wearing a turtle-neck jumper to cover the bandages on his neck, is the first one I hug.

‘I’m so glad you’re okay,’ I tell him.

‘It was worth getting bitten to see you sing,’ he says. ‘You were great by the way.’

‘I’m glad you though so…unfortunately, Tara wasn’t impressed.’

‘Oh?’ says Elisa, handing me a drink. ‘What happened?’

‘We broke up.’

Dad gives me a strained smile and squeezes my shoulder. ‘I’m sorry. I thought her performance was a little stiff.’

I shake my head. ‘It doesn’t matter. She doesn’t want anything to do with me so why bother changing her mind?’

Dante is the first to hug me. ‘We all love you, even if you do set buildings on fire.’

I burst out laughing as Olga and Luke join in the hug.

‘How about we go to dinner?’ Dad suggests. ‘You all earned it.’

‘Excellent,’ I reply and finish my drink. Passing through the crowd again brings everyone’s eyes onto me again. I can’t deny it’s still a little bit unsettling, but for once it’s attention I enjoy. I’ve never felt more comfortable to have my feet on the ground.

© Alice of Sherwood, July 2020

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