The Dragon (Creasan #2)
Chapter 14

Carac and Peronell sat in the crow’s nest with their legs hanging over the side. Carac rested his head against Peronell’s shoulder and knew he ought to get some sleep, but his blood was pulsing with excitement as the cave’s exit drew nearer and nearer. Though he couldn’t see it, he could feel the freshness of the outside air leaking through the opening and he could hear the crashing of the ocean’s waves. What had seemed so frightening before their voyage had gotten underway now sounded like the most wonderful thing in the world.

“Do you think he’ll go mad, too?” Peronell asked.

Carac frowned. “Who?”

“Fendrel.” Peronell stared pensively ahead with his brow furrowed. “They say all the Lances are driven mad eventually. That it’s hereditary. Do you think the same would happen to the prince?”

Carac thought it over. “I suppose if it’s hereditary then it must be inevitable.”

Peronell nodded.

Carac sat up and turned his head in Peronell’s direction. “Why are you asking?”

He sighed. “I have this feeling…It’s probably just paranoia, but I feel as if Thea will not win.”

“Why?”

“Thea would give her life for any of us without a second thought. That’s never been in doubt. It’s why we follow her.” Peronell faced Carac as he spoke. “Today, she nearly did the same for Fendrel.” He shook his head as he thought about it. “They’ve shared a bed, they’ve sacrificed their lives for each other. It almost feels as if…as if the prince is one of us now.”

“It does,” Carac agreed. “As does Brom.”

“And if Thea would give her life for us, does that not apply to Fendrel now, too?”

Carac nodded as he thought it over. It was the same sentiment Carac had tried to explain to Peronell earlier as well, it was what Ana had tried to warn him about. Thea was a creature of logic, that was true, but more than that, she was a creature of emotion. Everything she did was driven by hatred or love. If she no longer hated the prince… “Perhaps we ought to just speak with her,” Carac suggested.

Peronell nodded. “I know I was against this mission,” he said, “but we cannot have another mad king. We wouldn’t survive it.”

Carac didn’t have to say anything for Peronell to know he agreed. If Fendrel went mad while on the seat of power, Carac feared that The Source would be the first casualty in another reign of terror.

After being confined to the cave for so long, Brom found it immeasurably refreshing to stand on the deck and be able to look out at the open ocean. At some point during the night, Janshai had sailed them out of Dúdach Cave, and now Brom could see the sun begin to peek over the ocean’s horizon. He closed his eyes and let the morning chill nip at his face as he drew a deep breath of air crisp enough to burn his lungs. It was times like these, before anyone else was awake, before the noise of day began to racket, when the peaceful dawn could simply be, that Brom felt the pang of loneliness the most.

With his eyes closed and breath measured, he could almost feel his beautiful Gwin beside him. Could almost feel her breath against his cheek, hear her voice in his ear. He could nearly hear his precious Eive and Ryndalia giggling as they played in the grass of their yard. The most perfect sounds in the world. Brom felt his eyes burn beneath his closed lids.

Because he’d have to open his eyes eventually. And he would not find them beside him. Their voices would disappear, their presence would vanish, and Brom would be left alone on the deck. It was the most agonizing pain he would ever feel, and he made sure that he did feel it, as often as possible.

“Can’t sleep?”

Brom didn’t say anything as Ana came to stand beside him. He wanted to hang on to a few more invaluable moments with his family before he was brought back to reality.

Ana folded her arms on the railing. “Neither can I, I’m afraid. Excitement, I suppose.”

Reluctantly, Brom bid farewell to the ghosts in his mind and let his eyes drift open. As expected, Gwin, Eive, and Ryndalia were not there, and his heart throbbed painfully in his chest. Still, he offered a stiff smile to the queen. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

“How do you feel about the impending war with Malum, Guard?” she asked.

“I suppose I feel the same as everyone else.”

“Surely, you must be of a singularly different opinion,” she corrected. “You are the only one without any personal connection to the outcome. Regardless of who wins - Aestus willing you survive - you will remain a Guard.”

Brom glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and huffed a laugh.

Ana frowned and faced him. “Have I said something amusing?”

“Of course not, Your Majesty.”

“No, go on. What is it?”

Brom shrugged. “If you don’t mind my saying, you must be a very lonely woman, Your Majesty.”

Ana’s face went slack. “Pardon?”

The Guard turned to lean his back against the banister and gesture to Janshai and Merek at the wheel. “I met Merek on our first journey,” Brom began. “He is a strong fighter, skilled teacher, and deeply sensitive young man. He thinks he must hide that sensitivity with wit, but one need only look to see through it. Janshai,” he said with a nod toward him, “I’ve only just had the pleasure of meeting, but it is clear that he is as gifted in a fight as are most of The Source. Yet he seems to be the only one who does not hide behind a facade of disinterest or coldness. He is gentle and kind, and he is doing his best to make his comrades proud.”

Ana stared at Brom with bewilderment. Clearly, she had no idea where he was going with this, but she dared not interrupt.

Brom pointed up to the crow’s nest where Carac had fallen asleep on Peronell’s lap, and Peronell too slept with his back against the beam. “Carac and Peronell are young, but they’ve seen enough to force maturity upon them. Peronell takes too much responsibility upon himself and seems to believe that as long as he keeps breathing, he can keep Carac breathing, too. And Carac.” Brom chuckled and shook his head with a smile. “Carac has more bravery than most men I fight with in The Guard. He lost both his eyes to a mirka, yet I have seen him cry only once over them.”

He turned back to Ana and clasped his hands in front of him. “Isolde can take so very much without breaking. She has a wit to rival Merek’s and the skill set to match. She worries about every single person’s wellbeing without giving a damn about her own. And Thea.” Brom’s smile faded as he thought on the young woman. So like his Ryndalia, it sometimes pained him to look at her. “Thea leads them all. Every burden they feel, every wound they experience, every desire, every loss, every win, she is there. She loves this group of people enough to lay down her life for them at any second.”

Ana blinked at him and waited for him to continue. But when he didn’t, she prodded, “Why did you tell me all of that?”

“I know these people, Your Majesty. I know them well. I have come - not only to respect them - but to care for them.” Brom faced the ocean again and stared at rolling waves. “This fight is very personal to me, Your Majesty. If any one of them were to die, it would tear me to pieces.” He met her gaze sympathetically. “The fact that you could not understand that makes me think you must be a very lonely woman.”

Ana stared at the Guard breathlessly, her eyes burning ever so slightly. How had he managed to see people so completely? How had he managed to do so with her? His words seemed to draw attention to the searing pain in her heart she could never forget, the spot which her son was meant to fill.

Brom glanced at her and saw her shining eyes. He gave her a soft smile and said, “If I might give you a piece of advice, Your Majesty?”

She nodded.

“When your brother-in-law first joined this group,” he told her, “he quickly learned that speaking to them as a prince would only serve to ostracize him.”

Ana’s brows furrowed as she thought on that. They stood in silence for a moment while the queen collected herself.

She drew a deep breath and laughed softly. “When we return,” she said as she wiped at her eyes, “the first order of business should be promoting you to Head Advisor.”

Brom laughed. “Brutes like me belong on the battlefield, Your Majesty.”

“Only because we put you there,” she said. She smiled at him and rested her hand on his arm. “I should check on Thea.”

He nodded, and she walked away. He watched her go with the slightest upturn of his lips. He wondered if she was being serious about Advisor. If he no longer had to march off to war, Gwin and their daughters could come live with him in the palace. They’d no longer have to toil on the farm, working from sun up to sun down in the hopes of making enough to fill their bellies. They’d be happy. Safe.

Free.

Such an offer - if it was a real one - was better than any promise of retirement the prince could have given him.

Where there had only been pain, the queen had left Brom with the bright feeling of hope in his chest.

Thea and Fendrel slept most of the day. Thea woke up twice, when Ana and Isolde took turns making sure she ate. Fendrel had yet to awaken, but Isolde knew it was only a matter of time.

While they slept, Isolde went in search of Merek on deck. Night had already fallen, but it had taken her much time to calm her anger and then work up the nerve to find him. In fact, it had taken her the entire day.

But now, she stood on the deck and scanned the area for him. Her eyes landed on Janshai at the wheel. He waved at her and she joined him. “Have you seen Merek?” she asked. “I assumed he’d be up here.”

“I told him to get some sleep,” he responded. “He hasn’t really slept since you…” Janshai shrugged awkwardly. “I thought he could use the rest.”

She nodded. She supposed she’d have to wait until morning to speak with him.

Suddenly, Janshai gasped.

Isolde turned to him, hair standing up. “What? What is it?”

“Look.” He pointed straight ahead.

Isolde glanced around the mountains of crates and the beams to see the faint outline of land. Small specks of light sparkled from it. It looked nearly magical. Isolde’s shoulders lowered and adrenaline shot through her veins. “Qamizeh,” she whispered. “We made it.”

Janshai smiled so widely, his face must have hurt. “Home.”

Thea finally found that she had the energy to sit up and was glad to do so. Isolde had left a bowl of food for her, and she gladly scarfed it down. Every time she woke up, she found that she was utterly famished, and the healer never let her down. Wrapped in a blanket and seated by the fire, the chill had entirely left Thea’s body.

She watched Fendrel. It reminded Thea of when he had caught a fever after she’d had to help stitch him up. Though he didn’t shiver, he lay at her feet with his eyes darting continuously beneath his lids. She wondered what he was dreaming about. She wondered if he was warm enough, if he was comfortable enough, if she ought to find more pillows for his head.

She knew she was staring, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. Relief pulsed heavily through her. Relief that his chest was moving up and down, relief that his eyes were moving beneath the lids, relief that his heart still beat.

Almost like he could feel her gaze, his eyes slowly drifted open and he blinked groggily, looking around in confusion.

“Here.” Thea grabbed a cup of water and helped him lift his head to take a sip. A line of it trickled out of the corner of his mouth, but he got most of it. When she took the cup away, he croaked, “Thank you.”

She nodded and used her sleeve to dab at the mess of water on his chin.

In a flash of movement, Fendrel snatched her wrist and squeezed it painfully.

Thea winced and yanked against him. “What are you doing? Let go of me.”

He narrowed his eyes at her and jerked her closer to him. His gaze roved her face, studying it. They were so close together that his barked words made her flinch. “You’re not real.”

She gaped at him. “What? Fendrel, it’s me.”

“She calls me, ‘Highness,’ not ‘Fendrel.’” He pulled a dagger out of his belt and thrust it toward Thea’s throat.

She stared at the blade poised at her in shock and confusion. She looked up at Fendrel, feeling his fingers tighten even further around her wrist, and saw the intent in his gaze. He would not hesitate to slice through her skin, weakened state or not. Thea’s jaw tightened and she ground out, “You have exactly two seconds to remove this bloody knife from my throat, or I swear to Aestus, I will knock you back into unconsciousness.”

Fendrel’s blue eyes narrowed even further and she could feel his quickened breath puffing over her cheeks. He shook his head with indecision and dropped his hand.

Thea’s shoulders relaxed and she began to back away when he instructed, “Hit me.”

“What?”

“Just hit me.”

With a frown, she smacked him across the face.

Fendrel’s head snapped to the side. He coughed slightly and rubbed his jaw. Then he laughed. “Okay. It’s you.” He pushed himself up into a sitting position.

“Don’t ever point a knife at me again,” she warned. “Truce or no truce, I will remove your kingly jewels from your body. Got it?”

He smiled widely. “It’s so nice to hear you say that.”

Thea blinked at him and shook her head. “The nymph really got to you, eh?”

He glanced at her from the corner of his eye before lowering his head. He didn’t respond.

But he didn’t need to. She sat beside him with her shoulder touching his, facing the fire. “I saw you, too.”

Fendrel glanced sharply at her. “You did?”

She nodded. “And you nearly dragged me under.”

He stared at her a moment before a relieved smile spread over his face. “We were both tricked.”

Thea drew her knees up to her chest and rested her elbows on them. They had been. Horribly. “What promises did yours make?”

“What do you mean?”

“You told me that you saw my mother in the water. That she was alive and somehow in the water. I nearly dove right in.” She turned to give him a sad smile. “What did yours say to make you get in the water?”

“You went in for your mother,” he confirmed.

“Nearly went in. Before I realized it wasn’t really you.”

Fendrel nodded slowly without saying anything, and Thea thought she spotted something in his blue eyes, something she couldn’t name. His cheeks were rosy, though she assumed it was from the heat of the fire. His throat worked as he swallowed, and he turned his gaze away from her.

Whatever he must have seen must have been truly horrible to have left him so shaken.

“Fendrel?” she tried softly. “Are you all right?”

He stared into the flames. Silence stretched out between them, leaving Thea both confused and saddened for whatever manipulation he had experienced. If it was anything like hers, it must still be a raw wound on his heart. 
 Eventually, Fendrel said, “There was an opening in the cave. A way out.“

“We took it,” she assured. “We’re out of the cave. Janshai said we should be docking in Tamilem very soon.”

“That’s good.” He dragged a hand down his face. “I should probably get some fresh air.”

He moved to stand up, but Thea grabbed his arm. “Did you hear what I said? We’ll be docking soon. There’s no time for brooding on deck. You have to rest.”

Fendrel shook his head. “It’s suffocating in here.”

“I’ll put the fire out.” She headed in its direction but before she reached it, Fendrel spoke again.

“It isn’t the fire.”

She glanced over her shoulder at him. He still wouldn’t make eye contact with her, preferring to fix his gaze on his hands in his lap. Thea’s nostrils flared as she stood. “Was that your way of telling me to get out?”

He still didn’t look up, but he dug his fingers into his palm.

“My saving your life is suffocating to you?”

“If saving each others’ lives made a difference, things would have changed a long time ago.”

Thea’s fists clenched at her sides and she desperately tried to calm her rising anger. Because things had changed for her and she couldn’t understand how they hadn’t done the same for him. “A little gratitude wouldn’t kill you.”

Fendrel laughed ironically at that and muttered, “Aestus.”

“Look, whatever you saw—” she began, but he cut her off.

“Are we a team, Thea?”

Thea’s brows furrowed and she stared. “What?”

“Do you think we make a good team?” He struggled to his feet and faced off against her.

Thea wasn’t entirely sure what he was getting at and her frustration just fueled her indignation and fury. “Oh, I don’t know, Highness, do teams usually find one another suffocating?”

“Could you be genuine for just one second?”

Her jaw dropped. “When have I not been genuine? From the day we met, I have been nothing but honest with you. You were the one who was holding back, telling all of us pretty lies about doing what’s best for the country when you just wanted the bloody crown for yourself. And now, you’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“Holding back!” She wanted to rip her hair out, she was getting so aggravated. “Everyone likes to think I’m some sort of enigma. Thea Wyvern, you never know what she’s going to do because no one really knows her. Except you do. You know everything there is to know about me because I don’t hold back. I can’t! Whether I want to or not, it just - pours out of me.” She pointed accusingly at him. “I told you exactly what the nymph said to me, I let you watch me break down after my mother…Not once have I tried to hide anything from you.”

“Then why are you here?”

“What?”

Fendrel gestured to the ship at large. “Why are you on this voyage if not to kill Malum and take the crown for yourself?”

“Are you joking? We already discussed this.”

“You’re just here to help me? You don’t have some scheme to turn on me at the last moment?”

“Why do you ask, Highness? Have you got some sort of scheme of your own worked up?” They stared each other down, both breathing hard, and when Fendrel didn’t respond, Thea laughed victoriously. “You do, don’t you? I shouldn’t be surprised. All Lances are conniving liars.”

“I didn’t hear you denying anything.”

“Well, maybe if you hadn’t been so concerned with my suffocating presence,” Thea spat, “I would’ve had a chance to tell you that things had changed for me after I saved your bloody life, and I had decided I actually was going to help you, you insufferable idiot!”

“Really?” he yelled back.

“Yes, really!”

“Why?”

“Because - Because you held me when I cried and I don’t want you to die!”

Thea paused after the admission. Though she still glared at him with as much venom as she could muster, she felt as if the words had left her bare in front of him. Fendrel’s returning scowl gave nothing away and he didn’t speak for a few seconds, seconds in which Thea could hear her heart galloping away in her chest.

“You don’t,” he repeated.

“You know what?” Thea threw her hands up and headed for the door. She wasn’t entirely sure why, but she thought she felt the sting of rejection. “Forget it. Do whatever you bloody like, Highness. If you’d rather we remain at each other’s throats, I’m more than happy to—“

“There were no promises,” he blurted.

Thea paused with her hand on the doorknob and glanced back at him with annoyance.

“The nymph,” he clarified. “It didn’t make me any promises.” His fists clenched and unclenched at his sides and his eyes darted awkwardly around the room.

Thea rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “You were just stupid enough to go in the water for no reason?”

He shrugged. “It was you.”

She studied him with furrowed brows, some of her anger being overtaken by incomprehension.

Fendrel ran a hand through his long locks and sighed. “You wanted me to get in the water with you…so I did.”

Thea stared hard at him. She took in the uncomfortable shifting of his feet, the fidgeting of his hands, the way he wouldn’t look at her. Her voice came out soft when she asked, “Why would you do that?”

Fendrel finally raised his eyes to hers in response, the blue of them seeming to sparkle in the dim room. The rosiness had returned to his cheeks and this time she knew it wasn’t from the fire. She suddenly remembered how the nymph had appeared to her as a nude Fendrel. She wondered if that was how the nymph had also appeared to the prince. Once the thought occurred to her, she felt her own cheeks heat up.

Where the prince hadn’t been able to meet her eyes before, he now couldn’t seem to look away. His gaze was glued to hers, and Thea felt as if the air had been sucked out of her. She didn’t know what to say or what to ask. The space in the room suddenly seemed very tight, and while they stood on opposite sides of it, Thea felt as if he were inches away.

Suddenly, the door swung open, knocking Thea to the side and forcing her to break eye contact with Fendrel. Isolde stood there with her hands clasped excitedly beneath her chin. “We’re here,” she burst.

Thea shook her head to clear the sudden clouds. “What?”

“Qamizeh. We’re here.” She met Thea’s gaze. “We dock at Tamilem tomorrow.”

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