I was inconsolable.

I’d tried to escape several times already. Stitches had to hold me down in the tub so Ashes could wash me. It did no good. The moment I was on my feet again, I was tearing to get to the door and out to Sin and Church.

Ashes had me restrained against him on the couch while Stitches kept trying to call someone on his phone.

When the door opened and Church walked in alone, I finally broke.

I screamed his name on repeat, desperate for him to answer me and do all the good things he’d promised me.

“Church! Church! CHURCH!” I was wild with anger and desperation. With pain. With fear. I managed to break free of Ashes, who swore and tried to catch me, but I darted around the couch and threw myself at Church, my fists pounding on him any place I could land a hit.

Church didn’t move. He didn’t fight me or try to restrain me. He simply took my hits and listened to my screaming his name until I finally collapsed at his feet, my heart completely shattered.

This was all my fault. I’d gotten Sin killed because I was the selfish one.

I sucked in a shuddering breath, not getting nearly enough air. My panic at a world without Sin in it had me completely losing it. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t fucking breathe.

Church bent and scooped me into his arms and held me tightly against his body as I tried to breathe correctly.

“Get her meds,” he said gruffly to Ashes, who darted off to do his bidding.

“Dante, man, what did you do?” Stitches asked, his voice wobbling.

“What needed to be done. We’ll talk later,” Church said. Ashes came back into the room and handed Church the meds. It didn’t matter anymore. I hoped he drugged me so much it killed me.

Church carried me upstairs and placed me in his bed before scooting in beside me. A pinprick met my skin, letting me know he was putting me down.

“I hope it kills me,” I managed to choke out between my fast breathing.

Church pressed his lips to my forehead. “If I killed you, that would hurt Sin, don’t you think?”

My eyelids grew heavy, and I struggled to keep them open.

“He’s not dead, specter. Do you truly think I’m that kind of monster?”

My heart raced.

“Sinful?”

“He’s alive. For now. He just needs to beg for forgiveness. If he does, he can come home. You can have your watchers. Sound good?”

I didn’t know what any of that meant. My mind couldn’t comprehend a word of it as the heaviness from the drugs weighed me down.

“He’s alive, specter. Pray for him. He only prays for you.” He kissed me, and the darkness took over, leaving me silent.

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