Sinful: A Dark Asylum Bully Romance (The Boys of Chapel Crest Book 5)
Sinful: Chapter 37

“Don’t take any shit,” Mirage instructed as he walked with me to the watchers’ house. I knew I was supposed to go alone, but Mirage insisted on keeping me company while I walked there, promising he’d leave once we arrived.

“I’ll take whatever they give me,” I said. “I don’t want to fight with them anymore.”

“This could go really bad, so make sure you’re doing what you need to do.”

I straightened my jacket. “What do you mean? What have you seen?”

“Everything has been so cloudy lately.” He let out a frustrated sigh, his rabbit ears bobbing.

“You have been quiet.”

“I’m trying to figure shit out. Bryce loves her too. Can you imagine all of us with her? Wild.”

I shook my head. “I very much doubt I’ll be able to come home, and I know they won’t let Andrews in.”

I knew what I’d seen with her and him when we’d burst into his room. She cared about that asshole too. I wasn’t a fan, but at this point in my life, if I got to be with her, I wouldn’t bat a lash at who else she chose, as long as I was part of the lineup.

Most likely, though, I was walking into a trap where I’d be beaten to death. It didn’t bother me. I was tired of the struggle and ready for it to end. Maybe it was a little depression. Who the fuck knew? I just didn’t feel happy. The only thing that made me happy was her. Siren.

We reached the watchers’ house, and I stared up at it, my stomach in knots.

“It’s going to be OK.” Mirage smiled, cocking his head to the right. “Oh yes. It’ll be fine.”

I dragged my focus from the house and looked at him.

“Love hurts, Sin, but I promise it’s worth the pain.” He looked over at me and smiled before pulling out his carrot and taking a bite.

I smiled at him. “What will you be doing?”

“Wild animals belong to the forest, my friend. I’m on my own journey of redemption.” He clapped me on the shoulder and took a final look at the house before he turned and rushed to the woods, letting out a whoop as he dove through the snow and darkness, disappearing from view.

“Weirdo,” I muttered before hauling in a deep breath and going to the door.

It was now or never.

Awkwardly, I sat on the couch, staring into the fireplace. It hadn’t been like this when I lived here. Everything was normal. Comfortable. Now, I felt like an invader in a space I didn’t belong.

Ashes flipped his lighter open and closed five times before staring at the flame and doing it all over again. Stitches’s legs bounced as he raked his fingers through his dark hair.

I didn’t want to be the first one to speak, so I remained quiet, waiting for them to tell me to say my final words.

“Church isn’t home yet. He won’t be for at least another week,” Ashes finally said.

I nodded, wondering when they were going to nail my coffin closed.

“Sin, do you really care about Sirena?” Stitches blurted out.

I snapped my attention to him, my heart in my throat. “I-I do. I fucked up. I know I did. It’s something I live with knowing. If I’d have known. . . fuck.” I tugged at my hair. “I didn’t know I’d feel this way. I didn’t know. It’s different than it was with Bells. This feels so much. . . more. It feels real. Like maybe I-I finally got it right,” I finished in a soft voice.

I blew out a breath and swallowed, my focus on the fire.

“I know I fucked up my vow. I said I wouldn’t touch her. That I wouldn’t get close. I failed you guys and I keep doing it. If you want me to leave and never show my face again, I will. Church gave me his hunting knife. I-I’ll finish the job—” I pulled the knife out and held it against my wrist, feeling completely out of control and lost. Devastated. Heartbroken. I felt like throwing up.

The bite of pain as the blade pierced my skin made me grind my teeth.

“Stop!” Ashes sprang forward with Stitches and grabbed the knife from me. “What the fuck, man?”

“I’m putting an end to it—”

“You’re nuttier than squirrel shit,” Stitches snarled. “We’ve been through enough bullshit. Don’t add to it. I don’t want to watch your ass die. Prick.” He gave me a disgusted look before going back to his seat and shaking his head. “I’m the one who tries to kill himself. Don’t take my fucking thunder, douche.”

Ashes tossed me a washcloth for my bleeding wrist., I pressed the cloth against the small wound and held pressure to it.

“Do you need to get sutured?” he asked.

“No,” I mumbled, knowing it wasn’t too deep and wouldn’t bleed for long. “I’m fine.”

Ashes let out a grunt and left the room anyway, only to return with a bandage. He handed it to me, and I put it over the wound, knowing he wouldn’t relent until I did.

We were all quiet for a moment after.

Finally, I asked the question that was killing me.

“Where’s Sirena?”

Ashes and Stitches shared a look.

“She’s upstairs in her room. Attic,” Ashes said. “Waiting for you.”

“What?” I looked from Ashes to Stitches and back again. “What do you mean?”

“We mean, you have a week to get shit sorted with her. If you want her, now is your chance. We know Church can be stubborn, but so are you. If Sirena decides she wants you back and she wasn’t being impulsive, then maybe Church will let it go,” Ashes explained.

“And if he doesn’t, he’ll probably kill you,” Stitches added.

I absorbed the information, so many ideas going through my mind.

“It was always supposed to be us, Sin,” Ashes said gently. “Stitches and I are good if you’re serious about it. But if you hurt her—”

“I would die for her,” I said fiercely.

“I know.” Ashes gave me a smile. “She’s yours tonight. For the week. Go up there and talk to her. Maybe something good can come from this. Just. . . if you decide you aren’t feeling it, I want you to be gentle with her.”

“If she wants me, then I’m here to stay,” I said, meaning it.

“Well.” Stitches gestured upstairs. “She’s in her room. We made her one in the attic. Don’t fuck this up, or we’ll fuck you up.”

“I won’t,” I promised, getting to my feet. My heart was going a mile a minute. My hands shook.

“Sin. Relax,” Ashes said. “You’re going to do great.”

I let out a shaky breath. “Yeah. Yeah. I-I’ll be fine.”

With those words, I went upstairs and stood outside the closed attic door, my heart still racing. I had no idea what I was going to say to her, so I figured I’d wing it. Maybe a miracle would happen.

I opened the door and let it click closed softly behind me before quietly making my way up the stairs. When I got to the top, it was to see her pretty bedroom. The little twinkle lights she had hung up were the only light. In her bed, she lay beneath the blankets, her breathing deep and even.

Carefully, I went over and stared down at her. From the dim lights, I could see tears dried on her cheeks. The thought she’d been up here crying because of me made me sick. Deciding I needed to make a damn move to try to fix this, I let out a breath and gently pulled back her blanket before crawling into bed with her.

Drawing her into my arms, I held her tightly.

She immediately curled into my body, her fingers twisting in my t-shirt.

I knew she was still sleeping. It took her a moment before her lashes fluttered, and she stared up at me.

“Sinful,” she whispered.

“Siren,” I answered, my throat tight. I pushed her hair away from her eyes and allowed my fingers to trace the tear stains before running my knuckles along her jaw.

Her eyes asked the question her mouth wouldn’t.

“The guys told me to come see you,” I said. “They know I’m here. They’re OK with it. Well, Ashes and Stitches. Church doesn’t know, but maybe I can win him over.”

She said nothing, and I thumbed her bottom lip, our kiss alive and well inside my head.

“Siren,” I whispered. “Can I kiss you?”

She gave me a slight nod of her head, making my heart soar.

I leaned in and carefully brushed my lips against hers, everything within me on fire. Making this work had to happen. I wanted to prove I wasn’t a shit bag, but most of all, I wanted to feel again.

These feelings were different than anything I’d ever felt before, though.

These feelings were like Ashes’s fires. Stitches’s anger. Church’s crazy. A part of me I’d never let go of before, but now that I was feeling it, I never wanted it to end.

I cradled her face and deepened the kiss, never wanting to let her go.

I was here and knew leaving would break me. I didn’t need a week to prove my feelings or think about them. Test them. I was in.

Her tongue slid along mine, making me groan softly while tugging her closer. There was no way I was letting this go.

This was it.

The nail I’d been looking for to go into my coffin.

All this time, I thought it was just my bullshit that would be the end of me, but I knew it was her. She was everything I’d always wanted.

She was everything I’d fight for, even if it meant I had to face Church head-on.

Nothing would stop me.

Nothing.

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