We left the archives almost an hour ago and are now sitting in the crowded dining hall, but my appetite is nonexistent. I have been zoned out since we sat at the table, replaying every detail of what I read and comparing it to the details of my dream in a feeble attempt to find a way to prove they are not related.

“Caitlin? Can I speak with you in private?” Lauren’s soft voice in my ear pulls my mind back to the present where I find the Alpha and Gregory staring at me like some circus sideshow with two heads.

“Um…yeah.” I slide out of my chair and follow her out of the pack house and into the garden where she motions for me to take a seat beside her on a stone bench.

“I did some research and reached out to a few of my old friends to get their help with finding anything that might help to make sense of your dreams. Before we get into that, there are a few people who want to meet you. They have invaluable information about the enchantress, but they will only speak with you directly.” I stare at her in a state of confusion, relief and fear.

“When?” She smiles and stands up.

“They are on their way to the rendezvous point now. They should be there by nightfall. We should go speak with the alpha and see if we can arrange transportation for us.” I nod as I stand up and follow her to the pack house, but we only make it to the stairs before the alpha walks out the door.

“Lauren, I was just coming out to see what you had discovered in your search. Is everything alright?” He stares at me as he asks the last part.

“Yes, alpha. We need to have a driver take us to Farris. There is a diner there that some friends would like to meet at. I believe they may be the key to sorting out the situation with her dreams.” He stares at me for a moment longer before responding.

“Gregory, Kevin and I will go with you. Farris is in the neutral zone, but that whole area has seen a rise in rogue activity so it is not safe for you two to go without protection.” She nods to him then turns to face me.

“Do you have everything you need?” I look at the journal in my hands and nod.

“Gregory is pulling the car around now.” We stand in an awkward silence for several minutes before Gregory pulls up in the black Escalade and we all climb in quietly with Lauren taking the passenger seat, Kevin taking the seat behind Gregory, Syrus sitting behind Lauren and I am sandwiched between the two massive men who seem even larger in the small space. As the car pulls away from the pack house, I find myself opening the journal and flipping through several pages after the last entry I had read, all of them blank until a little more than halfway through when I find another entry that was sandwiched between the blank pages as if the person writing it had hoped to keep it hidden.

‘Since the day of Owen’s death, something has seemed off. My abilities have shifted somehow. My heart feels so hollow and yet aches constantly, reminding me of the loss constantly. I had not intended to harm anyone, but I could not hold bac the darkness that overtook me. In that moment, I hadn’t wanted to. I have looked into ways to bring him back, to bring my love back to me, but the only thing I have found comes at a price that I am not sure I will be willing to pay. I can feel the darkness still lingering and I am struggling more and more to keep it at bay. The spell to bring Owen back to me requires the sacrifice of innocent souls, one for every year of life I wish to grant him upon his return. Could I justify taking the lives of innocent children to have him back in my arms? The logical side of me knows I could never dare, but the ever growing darkness is willing to push me to do whatever it takes.’

I close the book when I feel a hand brush my cheek, wiping away a tear that I had not realize had fallen.

“What did it say?” Syrus asks in a soft tone as his eyes stare at me with overwhelming concern for my current mood shift.

“She was just a woman so overcome by her grief that the darkness swallowed her and made her do the unthinkable. I know it is wrong, but she did it all for love. She was so broken that she was willing to do anything to feel whole again.” I bury my face in my hands.

“Love can make people do irrational and crazy things.” He rubs soothing circles along my shoulder blades as he speaks in a gentle voice that catches me by surprise, but not enough to shake the mixture of feelings over what that single passage revealed.

“It can make you do awful and unforgivable things.” I mumble out as I slide my hands down my face. The rest of the drive is quiet, almost as if anyone is afraid to speak of the darkness any further. By the time we finally pull up in front of a small diner in the town of Farris, the sky is dark and the moon faintly illuminates the world around us. Rather than going inside, Lauren leads us across the street to a small park. Lauren and I sit down at a picnic table while the three men stand guard at a small distance. After nearly twenty minutes have passed, we hear footsteps coming from the dense forest on the other side of the park and watch as a man with brown hair and honey brown eyes walks out of the trees and scans the area before holding his hand out behind him. I watch in a state of shock as a woman walks out to him, placing her hand in his as she steps into view. The woman has long, flowing white hair, icy blue eyes and her skin begins to faintly glow under the moonlight. I have no doubt in my mind that this is the woman from my dreams, but my rational mind is telling me I have merely lost my damn mind. Both of them wear similar expressions that seem to be a mixture of weariness, caution and discomfort.

“I am glad you were able to make it Alpha Lynch, Luna Nadia. This is Caitlin, the one having the strange dreams.” The white haired woman releases her mate’s hand and walks toward me, her eyes studying me with curiosity, but the weariness still lingers.

“Do you remember me, Caitlin?” She asks in a voice that sends chills down my spine.

“No…well…not exactly. You were in a dream of mine. A dream that I had every night for years. The first time I didn’t have that same dream was the recently, but what replaced it was so much worse. Alpha Syrus let me look through some of the texts in his ack’s archives and I found a passage about the battle with the dark enchantress. It was exactly how I dreamt it. I also found this journal that had more information on the enchantress and two of the passages match the other two dreams I have had lately. I feel like I am losing my fucking mind.” Her expression softens, but the stern façade now appears to be morphing into sadness.

“By the time we had encountered the dark enchantress, she was already completely consumed by the darkness. After that day, I had done research into her past, but found very little.” I hold out the journal to her and watch as she slowly takes it from my hand and opens it to the first entry.

“I still don’t know her true name, but she suffered so much. It is no surprise that she become a victim of the darkness when the only thing she knew was pain and suffering. I am not saying that what she did was right. Taking innocent lives is never okay. Dark magic can’t help to heal a broken heart, but I think she was already too far gone to be able to think rationally. She lost the man she loved and from what I have read…what I have seen, that was the tipping point.” I see the glistening of tears as they flow down her cheeks.

“Perhaps it is time for me to fill in some of the missing pieces. I know that none of the texts about the battle include the details of what happened to the enchantress. Most believe that I killed her that day and while I had the opportunity to, I chose a different path. I wanted to break the pattern of darkness, death and suffering for my people, but I could not do that if I took her life. She was turned into an infant and the enchantress Avalon took her to be raised by her own kind. In the beginning I had wished for her to live a horrible life, a life that would allow her to be as tortured and tormented as the people whose lives she destroyed.

“Over the years, I found that I no longer wished that for her. I wished for her to find peace, take a different path and become a petter person.” The emotion in her voice nearly crushes me.

“Do you know her name? Maybe if I have her name, I can find out more about her. There has to be something that will tell me why the hell I am being forced to bear witness to her life’s tragedies.” I plead with her, the desperation in my tone is thick, but I don’t care. I don’t care how desperate I sound because the truth is that I AM desperate. After reading her journal, I am beyond desperate to make it all stop.

“Yes. We know her name. Have you really not pieced everything together yet? The battle was nearly nineteen years ago. The reason your dreams seem so real I because they are not dreams, Caitlin. They are her memories…YOUR memories.” Her bitter tone only adds to the stabbing pain her words send into my heart. How the hell could she think that I am the dark enchantress? My abilities are weak at best! I would never do the things she did!

“You’re lying. There’s no way in hell I am some evil fucking witch! I don’t believe you.” I don’t know if I am trying to convince her or convince myself at this point.

“Caitlin, I am telling you the truth, but you are right. You are not an evil witch, but neither was she in the beginning. You read that journal. She was just like you when she was young, but after enough tragedy and suffering, the darkness won. You have a chance to rewrite your life. It will not erase the things you did, but those sins were forgiven long ago. Even Manfri, a man whose mate you killed, has chosen to forgive you. We all forgave you, not for you, but we did it because it was what we needed to move forward. It doesn’t take an evil person to do evil things, it only takes the wrong emotions with the right circumstances.” She reaches over and takes my hand in hers, her energy gently pulsing through me and caressing my frayed nerves, calming them ever so slightly.

“The things she…I did…how am I supposed to live with that? How am I supposed to move forward knowing that I did those things?” She squeezes my hand and glances over my shoulder for a moment before meeting my gaze again.

“Because in this life, you are not alone. You have a chance to live the life you should have lived then. Your circumstances were a result of others taking from you everything that brought light into your life. Once all the light was gone, only darkness remained.” She releases my hand and a beautiful smile takes hold as she stares down at me.

“Liam always says I am not very good at delivering punishment and I guess he is right. What had been meant to punish you turned into a beautiful new beginning for all of us.” I watch as she turns and walks with her mate back into the forest.

“Caitlin…” I shake my head before he can finish and stand up.

“Can we leave now?” I can’t bring myself to look at them, feeling disgusted and ashamed of myself more than I ever thought would be possible.

“Sure, come on.” He places a hand on the small of my back as he guides me back to the car. The drive back to the packhouse is eerily quiet and I can’t help but wonder if they are as fearful of this new knowledge as I am. How could I not have known I’m such a monster? Sure, I had been driven to the brink of madness by others, but to harm innocent children?! What the hell is wrong with me?! She said I keeled one of her people’s mates, so how could he forgive me? How could I ever forgive myself?

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