Refusing my Alpha mate
Chapter 17

Arthur

I opened my eyes, still disoriented, but as soon as I felt Clair's scent filling my nose, and the touch of her skin on mine, my entire body went into a trance. I still had my arms around her waist when she stretched her toned legs and brought her arms above her head, I wish I could engrave this image in my mind, I wish I could see it every time I closed my eyes. Her nightgown rose with her movements, leaving so little to my imagination, and I still couldn't understand if this was real, or if it was just another one of my dreams. But I couldn't hold my hands close to her, my fingers stretched until they reached the soft skin of her arm, I saw Clair's body reacting to this, she sighed as a hoarse moan escaped the back of her throat. Her eyes opened and blinked several times until they faced me, her big blue eyes stared at me, and without losing eye contact, I ran my fingers up her arm to her breasts.

"Good morning, Iron Lady," I said in a whisper.

"Good morning." She replied with a crack in her voice.

I expected her to warn me, but she just kept eye contact with me as my fingers went to her collarbone, I ran them lightly across the top of her breast and down through the crevice between them, to her belly, and then my hands skipped her center and went to her knee, at that moment I lightly kissed her shoulder, and then I kissed her neck, and only then did I realize that she was holding the air, to the point that when my lips touched the skin of Clair's neck, she released the air from her lungs, at the same time that a moan escaped her lips.

"You know Clair, my role as a mate is to protect you, but at the same time, I can also…" I started to speak against her skin, and while my fingers went up the inside of her thigh, I felt every inch of her body get chills. "Making you feel things you never imagined." My fingers were so close to her center, that they reached her groin, and when they touched her clitoris even through the thin fabric of the panties she was wearing, I felt her whole body tense, she stiffened but didn't say a word, She didn't move an inch away from me, on the contrary, she let out a soft moan, and in the next second she lightly pushed her hips, towards my fingers. And I needed, I needed to feel her without her panties on the way, I kissed her jaw, while my fingers pushed the fabric of her panties away, and when I felt her lips completely wet under my fingers, it was hard to contain myself, it was hard to hold back. I wanted her so much, it was as if my body tingled with desire.

My thumb trailed down her slit, sliding down until it reached her clit, I made circular movements as I heard Clair's every breath turn into a moan. My lips sought hers, and one of her moans was inside my mouth, damn, I almost lost consciousness.

"Alfa Clair is already awake? I can smell him, Arthur slept in the guest room?" The voice was David's, it was loud and came from the hallway.

It was enough for Clair to jump in place, and I took my touch off her, I sat down on the bed, and it was all so intense that I almost couldn't turn away from her.

"I'm not going to wake him up, but it must have been. Last time he slept there." The voice was that of another guard.

Or I heard her breathing, which had been rapid, slowly calming down, and I thought the best thing was to change the subject. Her room was filled with trophies, medals, swords, and training diplomas, but what stood out most was a document from the Council that gave her the right to take over the Pack by herself.

I got up and walked over to the wall where it was hanging to read it better.

"What's your plan, taking it on alone?" I asked but regretted it the next second the words escaped my mouth.

"Uhm." She responded, as if it were something casual, as if she was actually choosing which flavor of pizza she wanted. "I'll take it on myself, or maybe talk to Tommy, his Pack is big and borders mine. Who knows, he might reject his mate too and…"The casualness with which she said it scared me even more. I couldn't finish listening, I suddenly stood up, and her words cut me inside, I don't think I've ever felt so much pain inside my chest, I wouldn't just be rejected, I would be replaced. There was so much emotion rising inside me that I tried to suppress, but it wasn't enough, small tears welled up in my eyes and I was grateful that I was still facing the wall. I used the back of my hands to wipe away the tears and mentally thanked her when she stopped talking.

"I need to go." My words came out broken and I felt angry about it.

"Wait, Arthur, I can take you, or maybe have coffee with us." She started to say, but my legs were already leading to the door.

"Goodbye, Clair," I said opening the door to her room, I felt the guards' eyes on me, and by the smell, of David too, but at that moment I just didn't care, I left Clair's room, went down the stairs and out the front door, just to the point of letting him come again, I let my wolf tear her guard uniform, which I intended never to wear again.

What was once despair of losing her, was now despair of anger. I didn't know how to deal with all those feelings.

How could she do that to me?

I ran back to my Pack and was getting fed up with it all. I arrived at Pack's House and entered the door.

"Hey, Arthur." The voice was Monica's, she was in the kitchen but came towards me, but she stopped a little far away and looked at me with furrowed eyebrows. "What happened?"

I let the air out of my lungs, I didn't want to talk about it now. But she didn't wait for my answer, she went to the laundry room and picked up a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, handed them to me, and drew air around me, dilating her nostrils.

"Apparently the physical part isn't a problem for you?" Monica said laughing, taking an apple from the fruit bowl. "Let me guess, you had sex all night?" Now she raised both eyebrows smiling.

"I wish was it, it's much more complicated than that," I said confessing and running my hand through my hair. "And we didn't have sex, I just slept in bed with her," I said sighing as I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Her scent is all over you, Arthur," Monica said as she reached for a cup and bottle of coffee, she knew me so well that she didn't even need to ask me if I really wanted coffee.

"I already slept there once, after a nightmare, but I slept in the guest room, it was the day before the ball, we didn't even know we were mates. But yesterday I had an even worse nightmare, the feeling of seeing her die in front of me, without being able to do anything is worse than my own death. I went there and your mate almost didn't let me in." I started to say, taking the cup from Monica's hands. "Even to make everything better, I think he hates me." He told her raising an eyebrow.

"He doesn't hate you." She said grabbing a cup for herself as well.

"When I got there, I couldn't sleep in another room because I smelled her, and I don't even know how, I convinced her to let me sleep there and…" I didn't know how to describe what happened next.

"And obviously you didn't just sleep," Monica said laughing taking a sip of her coffee.

"Like that." I smiled thinking how much she knew how to read me too. "But then I asked her plans, if she planned to reject me then she would probably come out on her own. She said yes, she would come out on her own, or talk to Tommy about rejecting his mate too." Even saying it out loud seemed like a stupid idea, but it hurt, it hurt to say it, and it hurt to think about it. And Monica receives the information, widening her eyes in astonishment.

She sighed and took another sip of coffee before continuing to speak.

"There's too much alpha energy in this conversation, too much intensity, we need a good Beta to calm it all down." She smiled as she put that sentence together in her head. "But listen, Arthur, I know everything seems to be about you. Because she asked for your rejection, but Clair already wanted to reject her mate, it turned out it ended up being you. Talking about Tommy was just an obvious choice since his pack is the second largest after hers, and they've been trading partners for decades. But I doubt she'll actually talk to him, Clair is just repeating the speech she heard her father say. She's an Arthur child." Monica's words were so sensible and accurate that my jaw dropped open as I sighed.

She was a child, Clair was just a girl repeating her father's lines, and following his plans and footsteps.

"But what do I do Mo? I can't and don't want to accept her rejection, but it's so difficult to stay in that middle ground, it's as if I have her and don't have her at the same time, there are few good moments, but she comes with a ready-made speech and end it all or... Someone interrupts." I said, remembering earlier today and I had to close my eyes and shake my head to keep from getting lost in my thoughts.

"Are these moments really good?" Monica asked me in the firmest, sweetest, and kindest way possible.

"Yes," I replied, without even thinking, but it reminded me of our kisses, of sleeping cuddled with her, this morning, and I would simply kill to have some of that again.

"So it's worth it." She responded by drinking the rest of her coffee. "And listen, David is the same age as her, and even though he's hot, and I love him more than anything. He's still different from me, and we always need to adapt, especially with some age difference. It's 10 years, Arthur."

She was sensible, she always was, and she had the best advice and the best words.

"You're amazing, thank you for that," I said holding Monica's face with both hands. "I love you," I said giving her a kiss on the forehead and then leaving, I needed to talk to someone after that, Tommy.

I need to know. Do you agree with Monica? Or do you have a different thought?

I have a love-hate relationship with this chapter, I have to say that I hated Clair for saying that... But at the same time we had our couple's first hot scene, what did you think?

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