Protect Me, Alpha King
70. Tears

A muscle ticked in Alpha King Maxxwell's jaw while giving me an intense stare. I maintained my smile, despite the fast beating of my heart in my ribcage.

Damn.

It was already a pain to smile too much.

"You want to know why River?" he interrogated. He patted my stubborn hair, flattening the baby hairs, which looked like nothing but a bird's nest at the moment. I hadn't combed it yet (I found the task a waste of my time), so it was standing in every direction, including the baby hairs.

He grabbed a handful of my hair using his fingertips and put it on his nose, and inhaled deeply. Fudge.

"Y-Your Majesty...I haven't washed my hair," I said nervously. If I had known he would do this, perhaps I should have taken a bath earlier. "It may smell," I said, feeling the sudden rise of my body temperature on my cheeks

I tried to step back, but he snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me to his body.

"Y-Your Majesty?"

What had gotten over him? It seemed like someone possessed him. This wasn't the usual alpha king. It would be better if he would glare at me and punish me instead of acting weird. It was not like him. I was not used to this side of him.

"Look at me in my eyes, River."

As much as I wanted not to, his mesmerizing voice compelled me and left me with no choice but to look up and gaze at his tantalizing eyes.

I gasped when I saw raw hunger wash over him. For me?

"Y-Your Majesty?" I inquired nervously. Again. "Is there something...wrong?"

This was becoming dangerous. Being in his presence was scary for my heart. I may die due to the fast beating of my heart.

Putting both hands on his yummy naked chest, which brought shivers down my spine, I tried to push him away.

It's no longer healthy for me if I continue being around him. My heart wouldn't stop beating wildly. Damn it!

But the alpha king wouldn't allow me. Instead, he put my arms on his neck, touched my bottom, surprised me, lifted me in the air, and put me on the railings.

Even during that brief moment, I felt his hands perfectly fit my bottom.

"Scared? I still haven't answered your question yet, River."

"What?" He cocked an eyebrow. "I mean, what is it again, Your Majesty?"

His words were no longer understandable anymore. I felt stupid all of a sudden, not comprehending his statements.

Glancing at the guard patrolling below, I said, "You can keep the answer to yourself, Your Majesty. I am no longer interested in it."

Dammit.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply as I was suddenly getting queasy. Who would be calm if I was freaking sitting on the balcony's railing, and the alpha king could push me down below (which I doubted he would do) with one extra push?

The second fact about me?

I was never fond of height.

I was only forced to jump from here before (when the twins looked me in) because the situation asked for it, and adrenaline kicked in. But not now.

Getting dizzy, I secured my hold on the alpha king's neck and rested my forehead on his.

Hmmm.

Better.

I was getting comfortable in this position, and being in the presence of one's mate did some magic. "You okay?" the alpha king asked, his voice coated with worry.

I gulped.

Sandalwood.

I could not get enough of his scent right now. It calmed my racing heart and my fear of getting shoved into the ground. However, the back part of my mind already trusted him that he wouldn't do anything that would harm me, believing that his moniker Black Heart was not true.

I could only hope.

When I did not reply, the alpha king softly patted his hands on my back.

My heart warmed at his sweet gesture.

My wolf was suddenly up, purring.

'Isn't he handsome, River? Maxxwell is insanely gorgeous that it should be illegal.’

Great. My wolf was swooning over the alpha king.

“Well, he is gorgeous, but it stops there. And why did you only come out now?"

She purred while stretching her legs. 'I don't feel like talking to you if you will not kiss him."

“That's insane. Why would I kiss him?*

“Because I want you too."

“Not even a chance.

She glared at me before retreating to the darkness. "What a bummer.’

"River..."

I was suddenly brought back to the present.

The alpha king was waiting for my answer.

"Why are you doing this, Your Majesty?" I could not help but ask. "You are confusing me." Scaring me. Inflicting uncertainty in my heart on why my body responded like this in your presence, I wanted to add but stopped myself.

His hands stopped brushing my back. "I was terrified when I saw you fainted back then, River," he started.

It took me a while before I realized what he was referring to. It was during our capture in the hands of the bandits.

"I thought you would die. I believed another of my fated mates would perish without giving me a chance to save you."

Wait. Did his voice shake?

I wanted to see his eyes and confirm it myself, but he drew me closer to his body, not wanting me to move or look at him.

"I can't handle another death from my fated mate." His voice quivered.

My heart warmed at the vulnerability he was showing me. I did not want this minute to stop. I tried to capture this precious moment.

Urging him to continue, I created small circles on his back and copied what he had done earlier to me.

He shivered under my embrace and exhaled. I felt him kiss my hair and inhale it.

I was serious when I said I did not wash my hair. So why would he keep on....

"I don't want you to die without telling you I want this bond to give it a try, River. I want to give this a try."

My hands halted and smiled bitterly.

In the end. It was not because of me. But because of the bond, we shared.

"Your Majesty, is that your guilt of Zenith's death speaking?"

He was quiet for some moment.

Again. I was right.

Disappointment washed over me.

I was hoping that he was already over with Zenith; that's why he was trying to give us a try. I was wrong.

Why could he not forget about that woman? It was I who was alive. Not her. It was I who was hugging him, but why could he not understand that?

"You don't have to accept me, Your Majesty. Do you want to know why I want you to reject me?" His hold on me loosened.

We stared into each other's eyes, and all I saw was nothing but sadness in his eyes. For Zenith again?

I released my hold on his neck and put one palm on his chest.

"This one," I declared. "Your heart is still calling for Zenith's name. I don't want to beg for something you cannot freely give, Your Majesty. I don't want to force myself on you. It's a blow to my ego.” "Give me some time. I will forget about her, River.”

I shook my head.

He could not.

"Let's not fool ourselves, Your Majesty. All my life, I've been forcing myself to do everything for my pack to accept me. So that they will stop abusing and bullying me. And now I have to force my way again into your heart?" My eyes watered, looking up to stop them from falling. Then I stared back at him and gave him a small smile.

He lifted his hand and tried to touch me, but I slapped it away.

He clenched his jaw but did not try again.

"Your Majesty. I still have some dignity left in my heart. So please, do not tell me to give this relationship a chance when all you see in me is that woman's face. That's why you are giving our bond a chance. Because I looked like her, and it will satisfy your guilt,” I spat.

My words seemed to hit Alpha King Maxxwell's heart because he lost his strength and staggered back.

Using that opportunity, I jumped onto the floor and put a safe distance between us.

"It's not like that, River," he mumbled.

"It is like that, Your Majesty. Unfortunately.”

"I always see you."

"No, you did not. My face always makes you think of Zenith. That's why you instantly agreed when I asked for your help during the Mating Ceremony, right,?

"It's unfair on my part, Your Majesty. All my life, I have been waiting for someone to accept me. You did not even tell me that we are mates. It took a couple of weeks. You hide it from me. You're so freaking unfair.”

I wiped the tears that rolled down from my eyes. Stupid tears. All my heartaches suddenly resurfaced.

"I have a reason, River."

"What a load of crap, Maxxwell! Your reason is because you are still believing Zenith is alive! And if she is alive, you will just reject me just like what Alpha Erik did! I am your spare key when the original key is lost. Your back up plan.”

"River! That's not the reason.”

"Another bullshit!" I cursed. Punishment be damned. I did not care. He could put me back in the dungeon for all he wanted. As long as I could tell him everything right now.

I was tired of carrying the burden for quite some time.

Angrily wiping my tears, I added, "You are still carrying your love for Zenith. I don't want to share your heart with her. And yes. I am that greedy when it comes to someone I want.”

The tears kept on rolling. Damn it!

I never wanted to cry in the first place!

His arms fell on his side.

"I hope you get what I mean—" My words died from my mouth a single tear fell from his eyes.

The alpha king was crying with me? Why?

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