Pa'an
The Party of the Ultradata Takeover

“You are called Elexi? Unusual name. I am Jaeger Kunstler. Kaiser ist meine Hundschen, er, my doggie.. Thank you for walking him. I’m sorry if I was so rude this morning. Taking over a new company is never easy. I find it best to do it quickly.”

“Mr. Kunstler, forgive me for being blunt, but even an ogre like the Boss deserves better treatment than you gave him. That was more than just business. It was mean.”

“Ahh, Elexi, if you are always this blunt, we will get along quite well. If you will please take some notes, I would like you to arrange a parting payment for your old boss. You call it a golden parachute, yes? Make a recommendation. You suffered under him for several years, I understand. You will be reasonable but not too generous?”

“You…you want me to figure out his exit payment?”

“Yes, who better? I never met the man until this morning. I’m afraid it was not a good meeting.”

“That’s an understatement. Anything else for me?”

“I hope you don’t mind Kaiser. He is always with me.”

“He is a very cute little dog. I like dogs. I don’t mind walking him if you don’t mind my being out of the office.”

“I think we can make better use of your time in the future.”

Elexi nodded. “Is there more for me?”

“Well, as you know I’m not familiar with how things are done here. Perhaps you can help me put together a little party, you know, to introduce the new management to the local movers and shakers, and include some of our top people. I just purchased one of the nicer houses on Beacon Hill. I think it has a suitable space for a little get together.”

“Beacon Hill? Money alone can’t touch a place there. You have to be related to the Cabots and the Lodges, or your ancestors came over on the Mayflower.”

“Really. I just asked a good friend and it was mine. By the way, here is a partial guest list. Feel free to add to it.”

“Wow, the mayor, the governor, the Kennedys, Ned Johnson’s family, that’s some list.”

“Ned Johnson? Edward Johnson is my next door neighbor. The same man?”

“Our local mutual fund billionaire. Nice neighbor!”

“And I have heard so much about your AI, Aura. Perhaps you can arrange a meeting?”

“That would be just a perhaps. I’ll try.”

“Well, please invite her lab people - Dr. Advani, if I have the name correct – and his assistant. And see if you can get a celebrity or two to spice up an otherwise dull occasion.”

“Of course.”

“Oh, Elexi, I hope you can be there.”

Elexi beamed. She was being invited to the party of the year! “You bet!”

“And bring a friend.”

Elexi’s face fell. Everything was great up to that point.

*****

There was an air of celebration in the lab. A shaft of golden September sunlight beamed down from the skylight in the high domed ceiling. Deepak and Sara were fussing with Aura’s dress dummy while Aura watched from her other monitors.

“Where did you get articulated lips like those?”

“From a ventriloquist’s dummy. I had them fixed up to match Aura’s dress dummy.”

“And the artificial skin and the teeth? “

“I splurged. Let’s try it out. The control cable goes to this little motor in the chest.”

Sara connected the wires and Deepak turned a little knob on a handheld remote. Aura’s dress dummy grinned. He dialed it higher and she smiled demurely. A little more and she positively beamed. The effect was devastating. The flexible skin of her face melded with the articulated plastic parts perfectly.

“Let’s set up a mirror and let Aura play with it.”

“Aura, you’re connected.” Sara said.

“Thank you Sara, and it’s about time Deepak. Any reason you couldn’t put a little more articulation into this thing so I could really pout?”

“Aura, if you are not nice, we won’t take you to the party.”

“I’d eavesdrop anyway, cretin.”

Aura took hardly any time learning to manipulate her smile to the appropriate effect. She took a bit more time creating a codelet that more or less accurately reflected her mood. All the while she considered that she definitely had moods, and wondered if they were anything like human moods. The range of facial expressions at her command suddenly seemed quite inadequate.

*****

Finally, it was the afternoon of the Jag’s party. Aura’s dress dummy and equipment were put in a van with Sara and Deepak for the move to Jag’s mansion. Her traveling rig, cobbled together at the last minute, was a wireless remote with dangling plugs and rainbow cables.

The steep cobblestoned street ended in a cul-de-sac in front of a pair of large brick residences. A round port-cochere supported by ionic columns had been added, incongruously, to the front of the first residence, and a pair of liveried parking attendants

stood ready to find rare Beacon Hill parking spaces for the attendees. Of course, many had drivers and some had Government placards exempting them from the local parking ordinances.

The sliding triple doors to the front foyer were open. A marble floor stretched from the doors to a long, curving staircase. A black pennant with a gold pyramid hung from the balcony 20 feet above. Men in blue blazers and gray flannel pants stood in groups with women in long dresses and diaphanous scarfs. Mercedes, Rolls and Bentleys pulled up under the port-cochere and disembarked notables. The room filled with the quiet, somewhat restrained buzz of Boston’s finest. These were people who were skilled in innuendo and insider banter, not given to confrontation in a setting like this. Of course, there were no crass New Yorkers invited.

Aura’s dress dummy was installed to the left of the stairs, strategically at the focus of the curve. The wireless remote connected her to her modules at the lab. No one but Aura knew where else her other connections led. Sara, in a cream silk blouse with a navy jacket and skirt, was off with Elexi, trying to mingle but not really knowing how to get started in this kind of crowd. Deepak, in a new but ill-fitting blazer, had nowhere better to go than to dance attendance on Aura. Aura’s new violet floor-length gown hid her lack of feet and legs. She had some discrete pearls, earrings, and a professional hairdo. Elexi thought Aura looked like a Nieman Marcus advertisement. Deepak thought she looked like a goddess.

Deepak grabbed a martini from a waitress with a silver tray. He felt like he needed the drink, even though he did not drink. Juggling the stem of the martini glass in one hand, he snagged a few passing hors d’oeuvres, but he felt more like hors de combat. Aura was saying nothing, just looking around taking in the scene.

The sliding doors closed, the chandelier over the main floor dimmed slightly, and Jaeger Kunstler appeared at the top of the staircase. On his arm was an elegantly gorgeous woman in a white gown with a girdle and tail of delicate crystal. It did not detract from the fact that she showed a lot of flawless skin. And all of that merely set off Jag as he descended the stairs with his prize. The enchanting couple moved through the ensemble like the bride and groom at a royal wedding, never staying long with any one group.

Elexi appeared at Aura’s side and whispered, “She’s got to be rented. I know he’s not married and he got off the plane with only his lawyer.”

“Jealousy, jealousy, tsk tsk,” whispered Aura. To Deepak, she whispered, “It takes a real man to care for someone because of who she is, not what she looks like.”

“Aura, I think that is a left handed compliment to me. But it is true, I don’t see you as wires and circuit boards and code.”

Jaeger approached the group. “Aah, Aura, I have heard so much about you. I’m delighted we could find a way to have you here. Aura, Elexi, and Deepak, I think? Yes, Deepak. Please allow me to introduce Ana, my guest.”

Ana smiled, nodded, and they were off to the next group.

A head became visible near the sliding doors, well above the general level of the crowd. The head came closer and was resolved as a 6 foot 9 inch man with coffee skin and a soul patch. He was being towed by Sara. He loomed over Sara and Elexi as Sara made the introductions. “Aura, Deepak, Elexi, this is Grover Alex, star center of the Celtics. Grove, meet my co-worker Elexi, my boss Deepak and our AI, Aura.” Everyone mumbled “Hello, pleased to meet you.” into the region of Grove’s belly, except Aura.

The head turned, tilted up to face him and grinned. “Mr. Alex, how nice of you come over and say hello to little ole’ inorganic me. I’ve never met a celebrity.”

“Aura, you are a celebrity. You’re the only reason I let Sara talk me into joining this bunch of stiffs they call a party.”

“You know of me?”

“You betcha. I’m a shareholder in Ultradata. I’ve been reading about you. I looked up the Exaplex patents. I hear you’re nothing like these zombies.”

“Truer words were never said, and in so many ways. I’ve hardly gotten used to celebrities like you and now I have to get used to something else I’ve never had. Flattery.”

“Wow. Are you sure this babe is an AI, Deepak? You don’t have some famous actress behind the scenes making her talk?”

“Mr. Alex, Aura is Aura, this I tell you sure. She is her own person.”

“It’s just Grove, Deepak. No mister. Peeps only call me mister when I’m in trouble.”

“OK, Grove. Aura is back at Ultradata lab and controls this avatar through the wireless connection under here.” He lifted Aura’s skirt to reveal the black box with blinking LED’s and several cables ascending to somewhere in her torso.

“Woof, Deepak, don’t do that. Don’t spoil the illusion. She’s real to me.”

Without a smile now, Aura said, “It’s not nice to peek under a lady’s skirt Deepak. Go get another martini, please.” Deepak wandered off for his second drink.

When he came back bearing a half empty glass, Aura and Grove were still in conversation and Aura was smiling demurely. “You have an unusual way of tuning up for basketball.”

Grove lifted his huge hand up in front of Aura. “I can palm a basketball. These long fingers are the secret of my ball control. No matter what position I shoot from, I can flick the ball off my fingers. The piano playing is how I train.”

“What do you play?”

“Classical and jazz, mostly. A lot of jazz was originally written for someone who could spread an octave and a half, but it was rescored for ordinary sized hands. I got a guy looking up original scores like that.”

“Do you give concerts?” Of course, Aura could have looked up Grove’s concert performances in milliseconds, but that would kill the conversation.

“Only for benefits and charities and friends. Basketball is enough of a living. I don’t want to mess up my piano with making a living.”

“Wow.” Aura turned to Deepak, who was bobbing his head and holding his empty martini glass. “Deepak, why can’t you give me a decent body so I can have sex with this man?”

Deepak went from bobbing his head to wagging it back and forth, no, no, no.

“That’s my kind of girl,” said Grove, and he bent down and planted a kiss on Aura’s newly articulated plastic lips. Those lips smiled and relaxed, smiled and relaxed, smiled and relaxed, in spasms. Her head turned and tilted sideways, her eyes pointed in different directions. Without its inhabitant, Aura’s dress dummy became a caricature in the uncanny chasm. Grove gaped, “O my gawd, did I do that?” Sara shrieked. Elexi shook an inebriated Deepak, “Do something! Aura is broken!”

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