One Day, I Woke Up A Werewolf
Chapter 21

Jaxon's POV

Walking away from her door proved to be difficult. I wanted to stay and make things right, make sure that she is okay. After today, I don't blame her but why follow me? The answers are right in her face but the fact that she believes she's human prevents her from seeing them.

I wish she would shift. The idea of running in the forest with her, without anyone knowing would be great. My wolf is excited to meet hers and even though there's a high chance she won't shift, I can still be optimistic. I can't have her already so while I still do, I want all of her. 1 want to see just how beautiful and majestic her wolf will be.

My wolf wants to meet her. Mark her and mate with her. He wants to love her the way only he can, in his own way and that can only happen if she shifts and when she does, her wolf will try to find us. I know she will sniff me out and find me because she knows who I am to her.

What will I say if she does shift and comes to find me? Will I go blank like I do everytime I try to tell Hailey how I feel?

When I'm with her, I can't even find the words. I can definitely make conversation but putting my feelings on the table is a different matter.

I want to tell her that I love her but I can't. I've never been in love before and I've never had to utter those words to any girl. Being a player has made me such a loser to the point where I'm such a wuss to the only girl for me.

My coward ass couldn't say those words to her and now I've lost her. I lost the one girl that belongs to me and if she finds out about Thomas then she won't want anything to do with me ever again. But I'm an alpha and no wolf makes a pass at my mate! I warned him the first time but he didn't get it, he had to come back to the school to see her again, talking about her wolf called out to him.

Her wolf should call out to ME!!!

Punching the wall on my way out.

"What's with you?" Azuri asks me. It takes me a second to answer her because firstly, my mind wondered why she was here on the school grounds when I told everyone to go home.

"Just a fucked up day. Did you follow me?" I ask her, getting a little annoyed with her undying love. "Yeah. I wanted to see where you disappear to and now I see you go to the dorms. Anyone there I should know about?" Azuri asks me.

I chuckle for a bit and then my face turns serious before I answer her.

"Is it any of your business?" I ask her and she shakes her head no before looking down.

"Look, it's going to take me a long time to get used to your idea of us just being friends. I'm not used to that anymore so be nice.” She tells me and I groan out loud.

"Are you even trying?" I ask her.

"Probably not. I know I could be better but why bother? I know what we could be, you just don't and since you still don't have a mate, I don't see why I shouldn't try my luck.” She tells me.

"And what will happen when I do meet her?" I ask, looking right in to her eyes.

"I will accept what is and move on. Maybe that's the push I need to move on from you." Azuri answers but I don't buy it.

"That won't happen and we both know it. Your wolf will want her dead and we both know she'll be human. I'd have to kill you if you hurt her, you know that.” I say. I know Azuri and she’s not one to take things lying down.

"Okay then. Let's not have this mate talk because she isn't in your life yet. Don't ruin this for me. I can still be hopeful.” She says and I growl.

"Azuri, if we start off where we left off, there's no telling what will become of you. You have a promising future as head of the warriors but if my dad finds out that you have feelings for me? He will have your head and if not, you will disgrace your family in not taking over as head of all the warriors. Is that what you want? You're willing to gamble on that?" I ask her.

Azuri doesn't answer me so I walk away from her. She follows in silence and even when we shift, she doesn't say another word until we get back to our packlands.

"What if I go to my first war and die without experiencing true love? I know you don't love me and you never will. I have accepted that much but I want to explore my feelings for you and see where it will go. I can't be the only girl hoping to fall in love before we take over from the older women in the pack. It's not fair that the men get to experience true love and we don't. How did the moon goddess deem it okay to have the one gender grow up without love? I ask myself if this is some sort of punishment from her. Like did we do something so vile that we can't even bring life in to this world? Why can't we be given human mates then because they seem to be the only animal specie that understands when a woman can't have kids. At least that, a reason to fight to stay alive because right now, if a war was to break out, you'd be sending us to fight for a pack of males and their human mates. We have nothing to fight for, nothing so yes. When you ask that I'm willing to risk all of that, even bring shame to my family I say yes. I am willing to because I am not as lucky as you for love to be thrown at my doorstep. My fate is to end up alone so tell me anyone you know that would kill to swop places with me because I can't think of a single person. I could lose everything, sure. I will still be a warrior, just not the leader and if it means I lose that just to experience a little bit of love, then that is a worthy sacrifice.” Azuri says to me which has me pause in my tracks.

My heart broke hearing her words. It was so insensitive of me to ask such a question when I have a mate. When I'm in love already and she has to spend the rest of her life alone and miserable.

"I'm so sorry Azuri. That was a dick question.” I try to apologize but she walks past me.

I let her walk away. Being alpha born, I'm sure it took a lot out of her not to punch me in the face. "Get your head out of your ass for just a second okay? For once just think before you spurt nonsense. You are going to be an alpha soon and I bloody well hope your mate will throw some manners at you. I'm going home because I can't stand the sight of you right now. I'll be fine tomorrow so until then.” Azuri says to me before walking away

I nod my head in understanding as I watch her disappear in to the night.

Azuri is a beautiful girl and she deserved better. A better friend and a better fling who didn't try to make it seem like she was worthless. I should have never gone further with her but we did and now it was my turn to make things right. Try and be a better friend.

I can't even get being a good mate right. My mate and my friend both hate me. I clearly suck at this life thing when I thought I had it all figured out.

Why did I even suggest we date in secret? Is it because I was sparing Azuri's feelings? Is it because I'm not even sure if she will ever shift and even if she doesn't, if my father finds out about her, he won't let me mate with her and that will drive me wild.

Is that the reason I could not go further with her? Because goddess knows I'm dying here.

No.

It's because I want her to know that I love her when we go further. I want her to have no doubt in her mind that I am all for her and not Azuri or anyone else. I want her to believe that my heart, my soul and body all belong to her and there will be no one else.

That's it!

I fish my phone out and tap in to Chatpax. I type in my status and post it. If that does not get her attention, get the whole school's attention, I don't know what will.

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