Lustful Hearts
Chapter 91: Fоrgіvеnеѕѕ - P1

My smile widened the moment my dad walked through the door. His eyes sparkled with love as I was encased in a giant bear hug. He held me for a few moments longer like he didn't want to let go then reluctantly pulled away. "How's my baby girl doing today?"

"Fine," I quickly lied. I didn't want to worry him needlessly. The headaches were still bad, but I kept that part to myself, not wanting to cause any concern amongst the family and Joel. "I got something that might cheer you up." He grinned, dipping his hand into his bag.

"You brought chocolate?" I asked, that was always the best present, but my smile grew even wider when he handed me the Amazon gift card. "Wow £500, really?"

My eyes lit up as I mentally calculated how many books I could buy on my never-ending wish list.

"Well, I've got to keep my little bookworm happy." He winked, placing the gift card down, and I grinned the moment I was left alone. I'd be in an one-clicking frenzy.

He smiled but a grave look crossed his face, I could tell he was about to broach the subject of Mike.

I didn't want to talk about him. As far as I was concerned we were done, but the look on his face told me my dad thought differently.

"Izzy, you need to talk to your brother."

I pulled away but his hands held onto me, and the steely look that came from his eyes told me he was not about to give up on the conversation.

I huffed, turning back around to face him, annoyed he was seriously about to do his best to change my mind.

Yeah, good luck with that one.

Once I was intent on doing something I really stuck my heels in, but annoyingly I was certain he would try his best to change that.

A frown crossed his face as his eyes softened, already pleading before the words had even been spoken. "You have to forgive him, Izzy. I'm scared about what will happen. Ever since the accident he has drank himself stupid, his behaviour is getting worse. I don't think he'll recover from this without your forgiveness."

I gave my dad a stony stare. "Do you know what he did?" Could he seriously justify his behaviour? What he put me through for his own selfish reasons.

He let out a soft sigh. "Yes, I do, and I'm not condoning his behaviour. God, I've made enough mistakes of my own but, Izzy, he was there, he watched the car hit you. He thought you were dead. He's tortured with the flashbacks.

He isn't sleeping or eating. He drinks himself into an oblivion to deal with the pain. I know things will never be totally back to normal, but please, talk to him, let him apologise. I almost lost my daughter; I don't want to lose my son as well."

His eyes bore deep into mine pleading with me to take that step. A large part of me wanted the suffering to continue, for Mike to feel the pain that I had felt. But I knew deep down I couldn't bear to see him fall any further.

I exhaled in frustration and nodded, confirming my agreement to see him, to allow him to apologise. My dad's eyes filled with relief as he pulled me into a hug. "Thank you, baby girl."

I began to cry softly on his shoulder. "I won't forget what he did though . . ."

His hand tenderly stroked my hair. "I know, but right now this is enough. He needs your forgiveness to start living again." Sitting back he brushed away my tears and then his own. We chatted a few minutes longer before he left, he was no doubt off to speak to Mike. I got the feeling he was hanging on by a thread and the sooner he spoke to him the better.

I didn't have to open my eyes to know his presence was there. I could feel it the moment he walked into the room, the air changed and the electricity that flowed between us became intense. He lifted my hand gently placing a kiss against my skin and I sighed, he was always a great comfort. My body relaxed within moments like it was in-tune with his touch.

"How are you?" he asked, his voice almost hesitant. I was guessing he already knew what my dad's visit was about.

My eyes slowly opened to witness the steady frown that was beginning to grow. "Okay, you knew, didn't you?"

A mixture of fear and sadness crossed his face. I could see he was torn between his loyalty to me and to Mike. "Yeah, he's not good, Iz. In fact I'm really scared right now. He drinks all the time. He's missed so much work, they are threatening to fire him. I know what he did was wrong, believe me I lived through it too, but I'm scared that one day he'll take it too far, that he won't come back from this." I bit my lip, and my eyes dropped down to my hands that were entwined tight around each other. Even though I wanted him to suffer, I didn't want this.

I didn't want for my brother to become someone I didn't recognise. I'd seen that in myself, that haunted, vacant look in the mirror staring back.

"I said that I'd see him."

Joel's face lit up and instantly filled with a look of relief. "Thanks, baby. You're not the person to stand by and watch someone fall to pieces. Your heart is too big to pretend you don't care. No matter what he did, he still deserves your love in times of need."

He shuffled further up the bed, pulling me up and enveloped me in a hug. He was like a soothing balm, my rigid, tight body instantly relaxed under his calm, soothing touch.

"Want to hear some good news?" he mumbled next to my hair.

"Always."

"You're being released tomorrow."

I leaned back instantly smiling. "Really?"

He nodded, threading his fingers through mine before lifting my hands and placing gentle, sweet kisses along each of my knuckles. "Yep, you're free to leave."

I smiled, but the look I got back seemed to be more guarded, almost sad. "Is something wrong?" I asked. Why had his mood changed all of a sudden?

"Well, I won't get to see you as much when you go home." His eyes dropped down to avoid the look of disappointment that radiated inside them. I grabbed his chin so his eyes once again stared into mine. "Why won't you see me? You'll be coming with me."

"Izzy, I don't think..."

"My mother? Oh leave her to me, I'll use the old I nearly died excuse, she'll be fine." I chuckled, but the look he gave me stopped me dead.

"Don't joke about things like that, I nearly lost you." Unshed tears glazed his eyes. God, I was insensitive at times, making a mockery out of something that must have been so heart wrenching for him.

If I were in the same shoes, I'd have been beyond devastated having to live through it all.

"Sorry, baby," I soothed, pulling him in, curling my fingers into his hair. My lips pressed small, feather light kisses against his cheek. "Joel, you go where I go, there's no discussion, and if you're not welcome at home then I'm leaving too."

He clung onto me tighter, like fear was ripping right through him at the thought of letting me go. "Iz, you can't . . . not in your condition."

"Shhhh together forever, right? I'm never letting you go."

"But..."

I pulled back sharply, grabbing his face with both hands. "No buts, I mean it, I will sort this, and you're coming home with me, end of."

His eyes widened at my forcefulness, and then his face broke out into the most beautiful smile.

"God, I love your feisty side." His lips captured mine, and we fell into a sweet, blissful kiss. No more words were needed.

***

Are you sure I can't get you anything else?" my mother asked for the umpteenth time. I'd barely been home an hour, and she was grating on me already.

I tried to cut her some slack on the grounds that she had nearly lost me, so I gritted my teeth and smiled politely with a swift no.

Joel looked on amused, sat beside me on my bed, his fingers entwined in mine so my focus was solely on his soft caresses.

He helped to soothe my nerves, he knew how much his touch affected me.

When my mother left he sat back on the bed, pulling me into a hug, kissing my hair. "She's only overly fussing, Iz, with what happened."

His words made me purse my lips in annoyance. He was right of course, still it didn't mean I had to be okay with it. I nestled deeper into him, breathing in his scent. "I'm so glad you're here," I whispered.

He snuggled me in tighter. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be." It was true as long as we both existed together there was not a single other thing I needed.

Well, maybe Maltersers.00000000☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐

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