Inked Wings
CHAPTER SIX - Is This Denial?

/ Noel’s POV /

20:48

My…hands. (Hands…tremble.)

I - I think. What, what – what ??

I -

Is…this isn’t happening.

Since, you’re an orphan now ….

No. No. NoNoNoNoNoNoNo No No…No..no.

This.

Is.

Ain’t.

Real.

He isn’t…he isn’t…

(Breaths. Cold.)

Breathe. Just - why was there…

…so much…red.

Why? What did I do, why - this wasn’t ever -

Orphan now, I suppose -

That shitty, asshole, bastard.

Why? Why did you send him after me?

If you didn’t - if you…if you just -!

Breath. Breathe. Don’t don’t think - ’bout Ab-i.

(Growl. Breath.)

What even is?

21:13

It’s quiet. Eerie.

That shitty thing on that tray smells abominable. Bullcrap words paired with vomit inducing trash food. A used peeled banana, sunk in rotten cough syrup and pee.

Hah…ha..h. I can’t even…replicate it.

Abi likes…my trash humour and laughs…always. I like the way he giggles. Always.

Stupidly similar to a babies laugh. But a man’s pretty deep voice is doing it.

I can’t replicate it.

I’m trash …like that food.

I don’t want to eat. Abi would lecture me.

“You have a reason or feeling preventing you from it? No? Then all you must is taste it. You’re always free to spit it out later…” I think he says it like this.

He thins…no…he, uh -

A sigh.

I poke the - food. Sure. Food.

It feels cold on my tongue. My throat’s squeezing shut, I have to just - swallow.

I - (Cough).

Blegh. I - can’t. Can’t - I can’t.

I don’t wanna.. eat…anyways.

…tsk

Does my play-tablet still -?

The battery’s suddenly emptied. Probably a malfunction from that download. I dunno.

Lucky me…I never pick up the portable battery from my backpack.

I connect my play-tablet to it…’S charging.

Now, what do I kill the time - How do I kill the time? Did I -

Yes, it’s here.

I grab my book.

Two pages flip. Different stains, different quotes. This is really just quotes, huh?

Fine.

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

…there’s another below:

“Lost my wallflower the other day. Absence now instinctively obvious, it’s hard to live without. I cannot rewire my brain this much.”

Ha. (Book slams shut).

I have no home any longer.

(Eyes blur.)

I will never see or hear again.

Is this a joke? Am I blaspheme cursed? Why is this piece of fake paper - the one… the thing mocking me. Bull. Bull. Shit.

BULL.

SHIT.

M’SORRY.

‘I didn’t ask for this!!!’

(It’s faint).

‘I didn’t….’

Eyes flood. Spine…curls.

‘ABI!!’

Whine after whine rings, breaks, thinner.

‘...abi…’ Thinner.

Breaths. Short.

’S too much

I wanna die. I wanna die…kill me, kill me!

Just kill me, please!

26:22

My garbage eyes are burning again.

Can’t close ’em. I keep getting stupid flashes.

So specific too - like the sound pattern - of Abi typing codes in his computer. Humming.

His humming.

His humming…

Abi’s - Abi’s gone. Legit gone, never -

Never coming back.

They’re stinging even worse now. I should just shut up. Shut your ass up, brain.

This headache feels like burning wood.

My muscles hurt. All over.

My veins feel weird. Like squirming.

And to top it all, I keep getting spasms through my - chest? I jolt again and again.

Then I come back to shivering.

Right now, I’m still in place. Hope this time it lasts. I feel like my heart’s gonna jump out.

That guy hasn’t come by since earlier. Should I see what he’s up to? Do I care?

If he plans to sell me, he might as well.

The torture may drive me into - does afterlife even exist? And if it does, could I find my way to him? And… And tell him what?

It was all for nothing…Not.

No. Abi didn’t die for you to be a moronic brat. You won’t…You will survive - for him…for as long as you can at least.

You’re just - tired.

You don’t really wanna, you’ll live though.

You’re just tired.

Yeah, ’m just tired.

If I’m gonna pull through, I should know what to expect. Let’s see what shitface’s doing.

I wobble when I stand. At the speed of a slug, I make my way into the hall.

Um - what sounds like static comes through.

I follow the sound. There’s light. …Bright.

Ugh, yeah, found him.

He’s in front of a screen, leaning towards it, it seems. Isn’t he as close as one can’t get to a screen? Well, more money for IRES, guess.

Their glasses are good, can’t complain.

Abi’s reading glasses look cool….looked…c-

Whatever.

His wings cover some of the light. His feathers seem to be uneven, or something. Spits of the screen’s light peek through them large wings of him.

How did he hide them?

Sheesh, they must be damaged or somethin’.

They’re a crumpled piece of white paper.

I…really don’t want to talk to this guy - Argh, I almost feel pity for his wings! Screw ’em.

Screw you!

I shove out my tongue. Then I swallow.

I don’t know what you’re going through.

No shit, you don’t.

...lost people to them too.

I exhale through my nose. I lay onto the doorstep - or whatever this entrance is.

His head rises. Did he -

His eyes meet mine. They’re…dark.

His irises be shaky. And his looks - I’m confident he has albinism.

Pretty. Much.

Or you could just ask him if it comes to it.

‘..Are you interested in technology?’

That snaps me out of it.

‘What?’ I ask, authoritar-like.

‘I noticed your screen so I think what I’m going over may - I don’t know - be somethin’ you wanna engage with.′

He has no idea how to read the room, does he? ′Sure.′ I stretch that sentence way longer than I intend to but it’s the right sarcastic so -

I need to be more discreet with my play-tablet.

He explains it to me. It sounds - harmless. And the screen actually has said plans on it.

Looks like it. I ain’t buying it yet.

Ain’t admitting he a genuine solitaire. Nope.

Thinking about it, the plan’s too complicated. There are easy ways to provide people with resources such as the well known water.

I make it known, bringing up MYRIEL.

‘...this is for an unregistered society, living on a “Non-marking”.’

Oh. They can’t risk Myriel.

‘You…mean a planet that them don’t - um - see?’ My shoulders slump.

‘A planet under MEA’s radar, yes.’

Crap, why does it have to make sense?

My head feels heavy, it stings. Can’t I even be petty, for Crop’s and Maze’s sake?!

Ugh.

‘U Noel, right?’ He tells me.

Surprise, surprise. He is a stranger, afterall.

He must’ve heard about Abi from word.

I almost want to open my arms, shake my head and make a face that screams Good job, Nellie. I’m deciding against it though.

‘You can call me Angel.’

Stars, I almost let out a scoff.

Doesn’t fit him in the slightest. I even slip a bit, saying it aloud. Hope he didn’t hear that.

I mean - is it because of the wings? If you think it like that - he might as well be Pigeon.

Angels are supposed to prevent bad stuff, anyways. By now, he has failed in that department.

….I should go back. My fingers are a little too deep against my upper arm.

My skin is cold while my muscles hurt.

I’m going back. I didn’t catch the last thing he was saying anyway. I’m so tired of it all.

He doesn’t seem to be the kind to sell teens.

Good, I guess.

2:28

My play-tablet’s charged. I don’t really know what to do with it. I’m deleting most of the games.

I should delete all, except the one Abi made.

Takes a toll on the space anyways.

Aaand - Done.

I wonder what’s it like, the finished version of the game.

Haa. I’m not in the mood. Maybe some other time, I will try it again. Play it and what not.

My eyelids feel weak, they keep dropping.

I don’t want to sleep.

I sigh.

Let’s try, maybe. My body is bothered by the lack of sleep I guess. It’s gonna make whatever I’m living through harder if I don’t.

I slide the pillow under my head. ’S soft enough. Nothing like the one from home, of course.

Let’s - close my eyes and wait.

Wait….

Wait. Patience. Patience.

Suddenly, I’m hit with thirty-three migraines.

Great…

3:02

If the migraines weren’t bad enough - the thing I think I just heard made them a hundred times worse. What tarnish was that?

The shit?

I suck back the tears flooding my eyeballs and I put back the snot starting to form.

‘Ugh!’ I aggressively wipe my face.

It’s worse.

Agh! That sound again!

I’m not staying here…nope….nope.

Trying to storm out the room I bump into - Pigeon - is it?

The first thing I notice is the missing arm. Is that his right? So he uses masked prosthetics then.

Second thing:

He looks legit scared. Like I gave him a fright. His wings did jump just then.

‘You took me by surprise - What’s up?’ He says with a stupid smile glued to his face.

Really now, what is up?

‘Why are you awake?’ I stand my ground. My intimidating stance is working the rails!

He - like - bends his neck to the side.

’Insomnia. Why are you still up, already done crying over your loss? Insensitive brat.′

‘None ya’ business!′ Quick, I shut him down.

I don’t know if I heard him right. I’m not gonna try to find out. I just want to black out.

‘Right. Well, do you need anything?’

That question sent a chill down my spine, confusing the turd outta me. He doesn’t care.

I don’t want to be stuck with him.

‘No…not yet.’

But he may be useful to my survival in the end. Or he’s the complete opposite.

‘Alright, well, I’m gonna -’ He awkwardly points to the left, ready to leave.

His body is turning ’round. It’s silent…

Don’t - don’t leave me with -

‘Are the sounds normal?’

I’m being stupid.

‘Huh?’

Oh my - stah!

‘The. Noise.’

‘What kind?’

Why are YOU my only means of protection?!

‘The drum inside of a skull kind.’

I want to choke him.

It looks like his brain freaking crashed.

‘The Space Eldritch-ez?’

Wait…what?

‘These migrate around Cosmos 2-1?’ I sniff.

‘Oh, kid.’ Suddenly, his smile catches me off guard. ``We’re way past it, in Cosmos 09-0.′

ZERO O - That’s stars away! That’s - I’m so far away from home.

So far from what’s left of him. I really will never - I’ll never know where they disposed of him. I can never get him -

I feel the dude staring at me so I respond.

Easy. Simple. ‘Okay.’

‘Don’t worry.’

He burns holes through me.

‘They’re peaceful dumbbells, and frankly too lazy to notice a spacecraft or interact with it in any kind of capacity.’ He tilts, hand on his hip, diva style. ‘So - yeah.’

That’s enough.

’Merci.′

I deny my impulse to latch onto any kind of comfort, shutting the door in his face.

Can’t trust a stranger that easily.

My brain’s mush and my heart’s pretty dead but I ain’t acting stupid now.

Abi taught me better.

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