I will be back
5. Failed to protect

Aleida’s POV

I run and ignore the cries behind me. Time is short, and I don’t have time to waste on my mates. I have to save my pack members, now! My big white paws begin to turn black after the dark mud on the ground. The forest is moist underneath, and I feel how my paws push down into the ground with every leap I take. My wolf quarrels at me that I leave my mates behind me without barely acknowledging them. I remind her about our puppies being in danger, and that’s all it takes to keep her quiet. She knows as well as I that puppies are the most important and valuable thing in our life. It’s not on the map that I won’t protect them with everything I have. ‘Get to them’ chants in my head over and over again. Time feels prolonged when I cut between the trees like a sword, hoping that I won’t be too late. The border shines in the distance, and I can now hear the battle going on. My legs increase the pace even more, and I throw myself into one of the rogues and rip his throat without blinking. The intruders immediately turn to my side when they realize I’m here. It’s me who is the threat, and that’s why they begin circling me. I growl loudly and focus on their movements. They’re more than me in number, but I’m both faster and more robust. One of them throws himself at me, and I grab his leg before throwing him away. He lands on the ground with a thud. Another takes the opportunity to bite the side of my stomach. I don’t show any signs of pain, even though it feels like he’s going to rip me in two. He also dies quickly. I continue to fight and feel how my energy gradually flows out of me; until I hear Clare screaming for help. I ignore the wolves who try to attack me and run into the house. When I arrive at the office where Clare desperately tries to protect my puppies, my eyes turn black. I take a step back and let my wolf take over completely. She bites her way through the crowd of rogues who finds their way inside the room. After a few minutes, over forty dead rogues lie in front of my feet. More and more comes after the first die in here. I send a mind link to the members outside to get to safety since I can cope with what remains. Thomas comes in and gives me a nod. I immediately hurry out again when I realize that my puppies are all right. Outside they’re waiting for me, probably understanding that the werewolf queen herself will take on the fight that her members should never be involved in from the beginning. And it doesn’t take long before the last lay dead at my feet. Thirty lifeless rogues now surround me; Lisa has killed seventy rogues in total, good wolf. I howl to claim our victory before shifting back while my previous escorts come running. My body is full of bite marks, and I have great difficulty breathing. Michael just gets here in time to grab me when I fall.

“You came too late to join the party,” I cough, smiling, and feel the blood drip out of my mouth.

Michael doesn’t say a word but orders Luis to get to the puppies while he carries me to the pack hospital running. The trio is running behind him and looks worried. They know that if I die, hell on earth will be born. Sometime along the way, I doze off and don’t wake up until Michael lies me down on a bed. My eyes are tired, and it’s hard for me to keep them open. I’m about to get unconscious when it comes to me. Fuck, my puppies and Clare! How can I be so ignorant that I forget to check on them once more? I try desperately to stand up, but my whole body works against me, and I scream of pain that spreads in my body. The boys and Michael looks at me amazingly, which isn’t very strange, given that I never show when I’m in pain. The only time Michael and Luis saw it was when I put my children into the world. Michael tries to put me back down gently, making me growl at him. Why does he try to keep a she-wolf away from her puppies? Is he suddenly developing a death wish?

“What the fuck are you doing, Michael!? I need to see my puppies!” I scream and try to get up once more, only for him to push me down against the bed again.

“There’s no need to worry; Luis is bringing Clare and the puppies here. They’re on the way; just relax. They’ll be here shortly,” he responds; I instantly relax but tens up as fast again when I see how Michael and the trio look at each other.

Something’s wrong, so so very wrong. I’m about to ask when Dean comes into the room and begins his cleaning my big wounds. I have a broken jaw, a black eye, a fractured forearm, a big bite on the left side of my stomach, and various small sores. Overall, it isn’t so bad. Well, it is. But it looks much worse before he cleans the blood away. The door opens, and Luis comes in with my puppies in his arms. I make a ‘give me’ motion, and he gives them to me. Their big eyes are looking up at me, and they smile. When I rock them slowly, those same little eyes close immediately. I look at Luis, and he seems uncomfortable.

“Luis, what is it?” I ask; he doesn’t answer me; instead, he gives Michael a look, and that’s when I understand that something indeed is very wrong; someone’s missing. “Luis, where is Clare?”

“Aleida...” Luis begins; his voice makes it clear, something has happened to Clare.

“Where is she, Luis!?” I exclaim and begin to feel panic.

“She’s in the room beside yours; Clare is in real bad shape.”

I hand over my babies to the trio and rush to her room. The door opens with a bang, and I solidify. There she is, lying perfectly still on the bed. If I didn’t hear the ECG machine, I’d think she’s dead. I sit down in the chair next to her bed and take her hand in mine while caressing her knuckles with my thumb. She slowly opens her eyes, and when she sees me, she smiles.

“Hello, hija,” Clare says.

“Clare, I’m so sorry,” I say between my sudden sobs while she shushes and hugs me; her breathing is hefty, and the heart beats slow.

“You did what you had to do for your pack and your people; that was what was important. Not little old me. I’ll die happy knowing that I managed to save your pups.”

“Don’t say that, Clare! You’re going to be fine,” I exclaim; she smiles weakly at me and shakes her head ‘no.’

“It has been an honor to watch you grow up and be present in your life. I love you, hija. That’s never going to change. You’ll do great things in the world and protect those who can’t protect themselves. I know you’re afraid of how your mates will react, but they love you, Aleida; go back to them when the time comes. They’ll understand. Don’t be so hard on yourself; put yourself primarily occasionally. You easily forget about caring for yourself. Don’t forget... You’re never alone...” she says, with those words, she closes her eyes, and the EKG machine flatlines.

“Clare? No, no, no!” I scream and sob.

I try everything to make her wake up again, to no avail. She’s gone. Even if I know that I can’t prepare to leave her, no, I howl and make sure everyone in the whole city can hear me. Because I have failed to protect her once again, I’m going to guard her now. A few doctors try to come inside to take her body away, but I growl at them. I don’t know how many hours I’ve been here, and I don’t care; I’m not leaving her.

“Aleida?” my best friend says; I look up from the bed and into Michael’s sad face. “You need to let her go; they need to take her.”

“No,” I answer with pure determination.

“Aleida, you have to; I’m sorry,” he responds and tries to pry me away from Clare.

I scream, growl, and am almost at her body again when Luis and the trio join in, keeping me away. I’m crying and calling ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again. They’re five werewolves holding me, and still, it’s hard for them, I’m more robust, and they know it. The doctors hurry into the room and take Claire’s body out of there. I turn to Michael and cry against his chest. There’s no reason for them to hold me down anymore because they understand that even I know she’s gone, dead. How am I supposed to accept that my second mother has left me?

One week later

Clare’s funeral is today. Usually, we bury the dead within two days of their death. This time it has been postponed after my nervous breakdown. If I didn’t have my pups and Michael by my side this week, I would never have made it. And now. Now it’s time for one last goodbye. I have my boys in my arms when I walk towards the altar where we’re going to burn her body; I crouch down so my boys can see her, and they begin touching her face. When they don’t get a reaction, it almost sounds like they’re howling with grief. I hand the children over to Luis and stand straight in the back in front of my pack.

“Blood fangs pack, we’re gathered here today to say goodbye to a dear member, Clare. She took great care of us and did her utmost to ensure that we all were okay. We thank you for everything you’ve done for us. Always loved, never forgotten,” I say and move the burning torch to the altar.

I can do nothing but look when the flames capture her petite body and burn it down to ashes. A tear slips from my eye. She really is gone. Michael walks up to me with Alexander and Elias; their little hands move over my cheeks. They look so sad like they actually can understand what has happened. I hug them close and ask a silent prayer to the moon goddess to protect Clare wherever she is.

“Aleida?”

I ignore the voice and keep staring out the window; the rain smatter, and the thunder rumbles in the distance. Clare’s funeral has made me more numb than I was before.

“Aleida, Alex, and Eli need to eat,” the voice says and gets closer.

I turn around and pick them up before sitting down in one of the armchairs to feed my pups. Michael is looking at my empty stare. He’s worried; everyone is. I have a lot to process, and I have only had a week to do it. My self-pity is over now, my pack needs me, and even if I don’t want to have to admit it, we now need help. First thing first, my darlings need to eat until they’re full.

A few hours pass by, and I have now called all alphas; there’s only one pack left that I save at last because of the fear. I dial the number and lift the phone to my ear with a deep breath—two signals before Henry answers.

“Hello?” Henry’s voice says.

“Beta Henry, I’m sorry to disturb you. But I would be grateful if you could gather the alphas, the other beta, and the gamma for me. I need to talk to all of you,” I say and hear him in the background when he yells for the others.

“Whomever it is can go to hell!” someone yells.

“Stop it; it’s Aleida!” Henry responds.

“What!?” another voice exclaims before Henry puts me on speaker.

“Alphas, I call you because, unfortunately, I need to ask you for a favor,” I say in my alpha tone.

“Why is that?” Kian asks.

“We were under attack the same night as the gala was; that’s why I left you all behind. Clare, she... She died,” I explain, my voice break at the end; they know of my and Clare’s relationship; they know I love her. “I need you all to gather at my pack house tomorrow morning for a big meeting with all the other packs.”

“Are you inviting us to your territory?” Miliano asks.

“Yes, I am. Not for me, but the pu, um, I mean the pack. I can provide shelter for you since it’s a long drive for you to get here,” I answer.

Nice save, idiot...

“If you need our help, we’ll be there,” Kian responds.

“Thank you; I’ll see you then,” I say, and without another word, hang the phone.

I’m going to let them meet their pups tomorrow, and suddenly, I regret my decision.

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