Nathan’s cheesy ringtone seems to cut the atmosphere like a machete.  His fingers are still up inside me and his face is so close to my pussy I can feel his breath on my thigh.  Ethan still has a hold of one of my nipples, but the hand that was holding his cock has gone still.  It’s like the real world has burst into our little dome of pleasure and we’ve all woken up from the sex-filled dream we were having.

No one moves.  The phone eventually stops ringing and I see Nathan looking over my shoulder at his brother.  The music has stopped now so the room is silent enough that when Nathan begins to pull his fingers from me, the wet sounds are audible.

Then the phone starts ringing again.  Nathan gets up from his knees and goes to check the screen.  His expression is guilty when he looks over at us.

“It’s Dad,” he says.  “I’d better answer.”

“What the fuck?” Ethan barks.  “He probably just wants to make sure we’re all home. Leave it.”

Nathan shakes his head and swipes to answer the call.  “Hey, dad,” he says, sounding ridiculously happy and totally fake.

I can hear the muffled sounds of Wendell talking and Nathan’s expression drops again.  “What happened?” he says, sounding shocked.  I immediately pull away from Ethan and go to grab my pants from the floor, pulling them on hurriedly.  Ethan touches my arm, and when I look around at him, clasping my hands to my chest, he shakes his head.

I frown and nod towards where Nathan is looking ashen faced.  All he keeps saying is ‘okay’, over and over and he’s writing stuff down.  None of it is seems like good news.  I find my cami-top and pull it on, clutching my bra and panties in embarrassment.  I move to look what Nathan’s written on the pad.  It’s the address of a hospital in a town about two hours’ drive from home.  I mouth to Nathan, ‘what’s going on?’ but he shakes his head as though he needs to concentrate on the call.  He jots some stuff down.  Insurance policy documents, Maggie’s blanket.

My heart skips a beat when I read the last thing.  Mum’s blanket is special.  Her nana crocheted it when she was little.  It’s one of her most treasured possessions.  Why would Wendell be asking Nathan about it?  Ethan is by my side now and he pulls me into an awkward hug which I resist at first but then I sink into.  I’m so grateful for his strength because I know that something really bad has happened and in a few seconds Nathan will hang up and then he’ll tell us, and I’m so damn scared.

“Okay, dad.  We will,” Nathan says.  Then there’s silence.

“What’s going on?” I can hear Ethan’s heart beating fast in his chest.  It’s a rhythm that sounds a lot like panic, and matches my own.

“There’s been an accident.” Nathan rests his hand on my back.  “Dad got away with some minor scrapes but Maggie…”  His voice trails away and I snap my head around until I’m facing him.

“What?” I say frantically.  “What happened to mom?”

Nathan’s eyes look glassy and I fucking lose it.  “What the fuck, Nathan.  Just tell me.  I’m freaking out here.”

“She’s in the operating room.  Her liver was damaged and they’re trying to repair it.”

For the second time that night my knees fail me and both twins reach to grab me under the arms.  Ethan pulls me back against his chest and strokes over my hair, murmuring things that I know are meant to be soothing but nothing is registering.

My mom is everything to me.  It’s just been me and her for such a long time and I can’t bear the thought that she’s hurting somewhere and I’m not there.

“We need to leave,” I say.  “We need to leave right now.”

“Okay.” Nathan starts to get dressed.  Ethan doesn’t let me go until his twin is in a position to take over my care.  Then he pulls on his clothes at record speed too.  I hear him open the door and walk down the hall to our parent’s room.  He opens and closes drawers, I assume to gather the things he thinks they might need.

I feel like I can’t breathe and Nathan obviously senses it because he pulls back and takes hold of my face.  “Everything’s going to be okay,” he says calmly and firmly.  “When Eth is done, we’re going to get in the car and drive down there.  By the time we get there your mom is going to be out of the operating room.  You’ll be able to see her, okay, Carrie?  You’ll be able to see she’s okay.”

“You don’t know that,” I say, and the tears that I’ve been fighting spill from my eyes and form cool trails on my cheeks.

“I do know.  Everything’s going to be fine,” Nathan says, and for some strange reason I believe him.  He’s so strong and in control it’s as though he could will things to be a certain way and they would be.  I pray to whoever might be listening to my thoughts that they keep my mom safe, that they listen to Nathan and make it just so.  I don’t know what I’d do if…

“I’ve got everything,” Ethan says from behind me.  “Let’s go.”

I look down at myself and realize that I’m in no state to leave.  “I need to get myself tidied up.”  I’m suddenly on autopilot.  That part of a person that kicks in to deal with basic things in a time of crisis is there.  I pull away from Nathan and head down the hall to my room.  I hear the twins follow but I can’t look at them now.  If I see concern on their faces I’ll lose my impetus. I’ll break down and be no use to anyone. I pull out some jeans and a hoody from my closet and some clean underwear.  I shed my lounge-wear and, when I’m dressed, I look at myself in the mirror.  My lips are swollen from kissing and I have a small mark on my neck from where one of the twins was a bit over excited.  I’m marked by what we did, and all the while my mom was suffering.  I take a brush and try to remove the muss from my hair, tugging hard enough that it hurts.

My purse and phone are still on my bed where I left them so I pick them up.

“Okay?” the twins ask in unison.

“Yeah,” I say.  “Let’s go.”

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