Tina never thought Phillip would come knocking after their breakup, especially since she was the one who impulsively called off their engagement.
"Live for the moment, chase what you love. Life is full of unpredictable twists." That was her mantra.
But when it came to marriage, she felt like she had no say, caught in a whirlwind of confusion, wondering if fate was rewarding her or playing a cruel joke by making her fall for the man chosen for her in an arranged setup.
She didn't want to follow her usual impulse in matters of love, especially marriage.
The cautionary tale of her family heavily influenced her decision.
Her grandparents were university professors, and her mother, born into a family of scholars, married the genteel Hamilton. But her mother didn't know about Hamilton's past love until it was too late, and Bertha was already born by then.
They idolized true love, but in the end, her mother became the odd one out. Unable to cope with her husband's affair and a second family, the marriage of her parents was a never-ending cycle of fights and arguments, starting from Tina's earliest memories.
Predictably, it was always her mother who ended up hysterical and Hamilton who stormed out the door.
The constant anger, sadness, and helplessness could drive anyone insane. It was no surprise when Tina's mother developed bipolar disorder, and her erratic moods and frequent tears only pushed Hamilton further away.
Long-term medication did little to help, only sinking her deeper into despair.
The most tragic thing a woman could do was attempt suicide to get her husband's attention. Her mother tried it multiple times. It might have worked initially, but like the boy who cried wolf, Hamilton eventually grew numb to the threats.
But one day, the wolf did come. Her mother ended her life in the bathtub when Tina was just eight, a sight of blood-filled water that Tina could never forget.
Since then, Tina developed a bad
J.n
habit of biting her nails, a trait Hamilton claimed she inherited from her mother. After her mother's death Tina showed signs of mild bipolar disorder, but early
intervention helped manage it.
Having witnessed her mother's tragedy, Tina vowed to live a life unbound by petty loves and sorrows, to explore the vast and captivating world rather than be confined by narrow affections. Why waste life over a man?
From when she was fourteen, she started taking solo backpacking trips around the world, becoming woman who lived life freely and on her own terms. She'd prefer to meet her end in the vast Amazon than in a bathtub.
Realizing she was walking down her mother's path, she left Phillip and Stonebridge behind for the wide-open spaces of Tanzania.
She hoped the vast plains would open her heart again, to learn to be carefree and not to hold Phillip to an impossible standard of fidelity just because she loved him.
But after half a month of being 8,600 kilometers away, she realized she couldn't do it.
Love is possessive.
The moment she fell for Phillip, she stepped into that blood-filled bathtub.
So, she courageously called off the engagement, even if it meant facing Hamilton's wrath and the physical pain he inflicted, lying in bed at night, too hurt to sleep, even if it meant disappointing him to the point where he matched her with someone like Alfred. She had no regrets.
She knew what she wanted, and she was determined.
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