Big girls don't cry
36. Not understanding

Kian’s POV

That’s it! I don’t know how to deal with Aleida and her mood anymore. She calls us in for a meeting in her office, and let me tell you, her thoughts aren’t rational. Aleida is pushing for us to help everyone in the city, which we can’t do. There are too many wolves to protect, and I can’t picture giving my life to a few other than my pack. Unfortunately, we’ve lost many over the years, especially during the time our father lived. He was a controlling, manipulative, and aggressive person. Dad’s mindset was that we should attack before anyone else could attack us, which isn’t stupid in itself. But attacking innocent packs with which we’ve no conflicts is just unnecessary. Of course, it would be okay if it’s a pack planning to attack us, but that wasn’t the case. Larry Vidovic was a heartless alpha; he believed in controlling ours and all the packs in the city with an iron fist, force, and bending them to his will. Neither Miliano nor I have at any point thought that it’s the right way to control a pack. But, despite that, I’m beginning to see more and more of our father in ourselves; it scares me. I don’t want to seem or be like our father was. At the moment, however, it seems that I have no choice. Our father’s conservative caveman complex appears when I sit in the armchair opposite my beautiful goddess inside her office. She’s so angry when we walk away that I can see her veins pulsating with anger. Now that it’s been a couple of hours, I can see why; we’re acting like pigs to her. We refuse to listen to her thoughts, opinions, and suggestions, which is a significant setback for us. She isn’t only our luna but also our mate; it’s our job to listen to her and at least try to understand. Instead, we wave away what she says as if her thoughts contain no value, and for that, I now sit in my own office and am ashamed for; I need to talk to her! So I get up from my chair and begin the search for my irritated mate. All the rooms I look in are empty, except the dining room, where many of our pack members sit and eat lunch. But no, Aleida, which surprise me since she loves food. I also ask the others if they’ve seen her, which they haven’t. So no one’s seen her anywhere, where is she? The turmoil spreads like a virus inside my body. In the end, I have no choice but to look up my infuriating little brother to ask him if he’s seen her. Miliano sits at the back of the packhouse with a book in his hand. He looks up at me suspiciously when he sees me; I can’t say I blame him; we almost don’t talk to each other at all unless our shared mate is nearby.

“What is it?” he asks me.

“Have you seen Aleida?” I ask; he frowns and thinks; I eagerly await his response, and my concern doesn’t make it easy to wait.

“No, I’m sorry. The last time I saw Aleida was in her office when she told us to fuck off,” he answers after a while with a shrug.

“She didn’t tell us to fuck off,” I sigh.

“No, not with those words, maybe. But the meaning behind it is the same. So why do you ask?”

“I need to talk to her. We made her feel insignificant, and we undermined her position not only in our pack but also in our hearts,” I reply; Miliano looks shamelessly at me with a nod; he, just as I can’t understand how we can use that kind of behavior towards her, and now it can be too late.

“Have you talked to the other members?”

“Yes, no one has seen her. Not even Michael and he are almost the glue to her hip. He never leaves her side, except when we’re with her.”

“Should we send out a patrol after her?”

“No, we’ll have to wait a couple more hours. It may as well be that our mate stays away and needs time for herself. So we need to give her that time,” I answer briefly and concisely.

Miliano sighs and nods after a while; he knows I’m right but likes it just as little as I do. None of us like it when Aleida is mad at us, especially when she avoids us. Since I still can’t do anything, I might also go back to my office and grab the new contracts. But, of course, no one’s going to do the job for me after all...

Miliano’s POV

After Kian comes to talk to me, I can’t focus on the book I read anymore. Aleida is gone, and no one knows where she is. Where can she be? I put the book on the table and get up; I don’t give a shit what Kian says, I have to look for her! While checking every room in the house, I also, unfortunately, walk into spaces where people are about to have sex, awkward. However, I don’t care about this because my mate is somewhere and has our child in her body. She can be abducted or hurt herself. In the end, I shift and begin running towards the forest; it’s the last place I can think of that she might be at. But, just as I thought, I begin to feel her scent already when my paws meet the damp forest land. There’s no reason for me to run, considering I know she’s here. Her scent gets stronger the further into the forest I get, and eventually, I see her. She sits under a tree with her legs stretched out, caressing her stomach. Her eyes are closed, but her mouth is moving like she’s talking. I sneak around, and now I can hear what she’s saying.

“Mommy loves you more than anything else, baby; you’re my whole world, and I can’t wait to see you. To hold your little hands in mine and kiss away the tears from your cheeks when you cry. Your daddies will teach you everything important that you need to know, and we will all protect you until we die. However, I probably need to lecture your daddy first, considering he hasn’t learned yet that it’s bad to eavesdrop,” she says and opens her eyes, staring at me; damn it! “Just get out of there Miliano, I felt your scent long before you even put your paws in the forest.”

I exhale deeply before coming out from my hiding place.

“Why do you always call me my name instead of my nickname?” I ask; I’ve been wondering that for a while.

“I don’t know; sometimes it suits, and sometimes it doesn’t. When I need to scold you, your real name fits better. Even though you’re always my bae,” she answers, and I smile gently before sitting down in front of her; she looks tired; our words obviously have a sturgeon impact than we thought before. “Look, I love you and Kian with all my heart. But I have a destiny for which I need to take responsibility. I need to ensure that our children can grow up in a safe future, and if I don’t take hold of the problems that are about to arise, I can’t ensure that they’ll ever be safe in our home. You and Kian need to understand what tests we have before us. We must all stand united against this threat; otherwise, none of us will survive.”

I put my head on the side and look at her. Her intelligence and passion for the situation are fantastic.

“How can you know that the situation will even arise? We can’t protect everyone, Aleida, even though you so wish!” I exclaim, and she breathes in deeply and closes her eyes to not scream at me; it appears that I hit a nerve.

“Listen and listen well. You have a mate, a beautiful house, children on the way, loyal members of the pack, and increasing expansions in the companies. You have it all; how come the only one who doesn’t get it, are you?”

Her words shake me to the core. Why am I unable to listen and follow her desire? She has reasonable arguments and obviously a plan to resolve what is to come. What baffles me the most is why she doesn’t use her alpha voice against me and force me to follow her orders?

Because she doesn’t want to force anyone to fight in a fight that’s not theirs from the beginning, Ryan explains.

What do you mean?

This is her fight; it’s her responsibility to keep us all alive. Haven’t you got it yet?

Ryan’s words echo inside my head. She has every werewolf life and existence on her shoulders. Yet, we make her feel bad for doing what she needs to do. How can we be so heartless toward her when all she wants is our love and support?

“Aleida, I’m so sor...”

“Don’t even say it. I can’t take it right now. So you have to excuse me, but I have our race’s existence to save,” Aleida says before walking away with her back straight, and her head held high, but I can feel the sadness she feels inside; we don’t deserve her...

Aleida’s POV

My eyes are burning with unshed tears. My strongest desire is just that they’ll understand me and realize that I need them by my side. But, instead, they do the exact opposite and move further away from me. I love both of them, but even I have boundaries over what I can take. They can’t go against me and then complain about when I stay away. It doesn’t work that way. I’m not fragile, but I’m not the strongest either; I manage to handle and solve many things, but others make me sink like a stone into the deepest, darkest seas. My mates have to choose sides. Either they’re with me, or they’re against me. If they choose the latest, I’ll have to fight them, and I know they’ll lose. When I get back to my office, Michael is standing outside the door waiting for me.

“Hello?” I say, puzzled.

“The situation we talked about earlier is secured. The location is confirmed, and we can’t do much of the time at present. But when that day comes, we’re ready.”

“Thank you, Michael, you’ve really done a great job,” I say and hug him.

His arms slip around my body, and he caresses me over my hair like a big brother, even though he’s younger than me. We break apart and smile at each other. Someone’s clearing their throat behind me, and I turn around to see Kian standing there.

“Hey...” he says low.

“Hey,” I answer; a long silence follows that before Michael breaks it.

“Awkwaaaard.”

“Shut it, Michael. Go and check the strategies we talked about,” I say with a stern voice, making him smirk at me and walk away.

“Did you need something?” I ask Kian with a bored expression.

“I want to talk to you.”

“Why? The last time I tried to talk to you, you didn’t want to listen. So why should I?”

“Please, lepa...” he says with a pleading voice; I sigh and make a ‘follow me’ gesture—Kian trails behind me into my office.

“I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier; I didn’t mean to. But, unfortunately, it’s hard to change yourself to fit the likings of others.”

“Not even once do I tell you that you have to change yourself. All I want is for you and Miliano to trust me. Not just as your luna or your mate, but as the mother to your future child. I told you guys that we’re going to war, and you just brushed it off like it was some crumbs from your sandwich this morning. People will die if we don’t do anything! Do you want your children to be safe when they grow up, or do you want to live with the knowledge that you failed to protect them?”

“I didn’t start this war!” he roars.

“Neither did I, yet I want to end it! You choose whom you want to be. I don’t want to be a damsel in distress; I want to be able to protect my family and my people.”

“And I don’t!?”

“I have a passion, I have a dream, and I’m prepared to dive right into it. And I’m going after this dream to protect my people. It all starts with you; you’re the temple, and you have control. If you’re in a bad situation, it’s up to you to get out of it. You can’t give another person the responsibility for your happiness. I will fight until death for my family’s happiness; that’s what’s most important for me. On the other hand, you don’t understand because you don’t listen to a word I say. You’re no better than Miliano. You both ignore the person who matters most to you just because you need to be stubborn. Well, wake up, honey! We don’t have time for your cavemen moment! You’re both alphas; still, you treat others like crap, in this particular situation, your own mate, the mother of your child. I respect your and Miliano’s wishes not to be drawn into this problem but don’t you dare to stand in my fucking way just because you both choose to be cowards. Fight or flight, it’s up to you. But as I said...” I walk with menacing steps towards him until our faces are a few centimeters apart. “If you and Miliano decide to stand in my way, I’ll go through you!”

I growl before pushing past him and out of the room. Hopefully, they understand that I’m prepared to kill my own mates to protect my people and baby; they better not mess with me. I no longer have any patience...

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