I wasn’t going to be the one to do it, but the second he crosses the line he’s blurred so many times before, there’s nothing holding either of us back. My arms wrap around his neck, my fingers sliding into his hair. The way he wastes no time in forcing my mouth open and tangling his tongue with mine… It’s all got my senses on overload.

The only thing I can focus on, the only thing I can think about, is him.

His hands grip my waist as he lifts me with ease and pins me up against the wall. I wrap my legs around him, and the moment I feel his hard cock rub against my pussy, I moan into his mouth.

Dragging my nails up his back, I revel in the way he arches into me, but it’s not enough. There are too many layers between us. Too much keeping him from exactly where I want him.

Where I need him.

He breaks the kiss, only to move his lips to my neck. I gasp at the sensation and turn my head to give him more access. He could mark up every inch of my skin and I don’t think he’d get a single complaint out of me right now.

“God, you look so fucking good in my jersey,” he murmurs against my skin. “Such a little temptress. You love testing my limits, don’t you?”

I let my head hit the wall, breathing heavily, but he’s not having that. His hand comes up to wrap around my throat, and his eyes glare into mine.

“Answer me, Laiken.”

Fuck me. “Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“I love testing your limits,” I admit. “Wanted to see you break.”

The sexiest smirk I’ve ever seen appears on his face. “Mission fucking accomplished.”

With his fingers wrapped around my neck, he covers my mouth with his own once more. The way his tongue moves with mine, like I don’t stand a chance in having any kind of dominance, it’s intoxicating. I could quite literally get drunk on only him.

The buzzer sounds and cheers erupt, telling us both that the home team scored, and Hayes reluctantly pulls away. His eyes move across my face, looking for something unbeknownst to me, and then he exhales.

“As much as I want to take you right here, the last thing we want is someone from the team walking in on us,” he says.

I nod, still trying to catch my breath. “Right. You’re right.”

He gently puts my feet back on the ground and takes a step back. For a moment, a pit settles in my stomach, thinking it’s over and this is when he goes back into his usual spiral of regret, but that’s wiped from my mind the minute he speaks.

“Can you think of an excuse to tell your parents?”

I nod and run my fingers through my hair in an attempt to fix it.

“Good.” He grabs the shirt out of his locker and throws it on. “Go take care of that and then meet me at my truck.”

“Okay.”

I turn around to do just that, but before I can reach the door, he pulls me back. His thumb rubs against my cheek as he kisses me once more—softly this time.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” he all but whispers.

Smiling, I arch up on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek, and then I’m out the door.

I wrap my arms around myself as I go back into the stands. Everyone is still pumped up from the goal that was recently scored, but I have a job to do.

“There you are,” my mom greets me happily. “You okay?”

“No,” I lie. “I think I may have overdone it. I’m still not feeling one hundred percent yet, so I’m just going to go home and rest.”

Her brows furrow, but as my dad yells about something in the game, her attention is pulled elsewhere. “Okay, sweetie. Well, I hope you feel better.”

“Do you need me to drive you home?” Mali asks, reminding me I rode with her.

I shake my head. “That’s okay. I have an Uber waiting outside.”

“How convenient.” The sarcasm that laces her tone goes unnoticed by my parents but I hear it loud and clear.

I subtly flip her off, making her chuckle. Picking up Greg’s jersey, I hand it to Mali.

“Make sure he gets this back.”

Her brows raise. “You don’t want to hold onto it?”

Oh yeah. I’m sure that would go over so well. “No. I have no use for it.”

Before she can say anything else my parents may catch onto, I wave to the three of them and walk away—eagerly heading for the door.

Hayes’s truck is running in the parking lot when I get outside. I keep my head down and go climb into the passenger side. He glances over as I buckle my seatbelt, and once I’m done, he puts the truck into drive.

Neither one of us says a word as he pulls out of the parking lot. I don’t think the reality has set in that this is actually happening. He’s driving us to God knows where with the sole intention of touching me in all the ways I’ve dreamed he would.

Pulling up to a red light, he looks over at me and chuckles, shaking his head as he focuses back on the road.

“What?” I ask curiously.

“You play dirty.”

My grin widens, but I admit nothing. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Humming amusedly, he puts his foot on the gas as the light turns green. “Every game I’ve seen you come to, you’re in jeans or sweatpants, with your hair tied back like you couldn’t be bothered. But tonight, you show up looking like you’re ready for a night on the town.”

To be honest, the outfit was Mali’s idea, and a brilliant one at that. It may have been a little cold in there, but what’s that saying? No pain, no gain? Clearly, it was worth it.

“And then you had the nerve to put on someone else’s jersey.”

I can’t help but laugh. “In my defense, my shirt was ruined, and I needed something else to wear.”

“So, you go into the locker room and take one of mine,” he growls. “But the only goddamn number that goes on that body of yours is mine. The fact that you even gave that shithead the time of day pisses me off.”

Good. That was the point. “Maybe I just wanted to feel good.”

He chuckles, turning the steering wheel to the left. “Oh, trust me, baby. You’re going to.”

Baby. God, I have such a love hate relationship with the way that makes my heart race.

HAYES PARKS THE TRUCK and turns his headlights off, leaving the moonlight to be the only thing illuminating the empty parking lot. The beach in front of us isn’t a popular one, mainly only used by local surfers and fishermen. He knew exactly where to go to make sure we don’t get caught.

As he turns to face me, my breathing stutters a little.

“If we do this, neither one of us can take it back. You know that, right?”

I press my tongue to my cheek. “I was never the one taking anything back.”

Closing his eyes for a second, he lets out a breathy laugh. “Hard to know who’s going to kill me first, you or Cam.”

“It’s probably fifty-fifty,” I admit.

“Of course it is.” He smiles fondly, but it fades as he turns serious. “Not being straight with you before was a dick move. I should’ve talked to you, and I’m not making that mistake again, so I’m talking to you now.”

He pauses for a moment to be absolutely certain he has my attention.

“If you’re looking for a relationship, you won’t find one here. Tell me that’s a deal breaker, and I’ll take you home right now. No hard feelings.”

Hearing those words isn’t a shock. I’ve always known the kind of guy he is, and I never thought we’d do the things we’ve done, so it’s no surprise that we won’t be riding off into the sunset together or some romantic shit. But that doesn’t mean the part of me that longs for that isn’t a little let down.

Still, I’m not about to back out now over a small technicality.

If I get my heart broken, well, at least I got a few orgasms out of it.

“And what if I don’t care about that?”

His tongue darts out to moisten his lips. “I just want you to be sure this is what you want.”

“It is,” I say with zero hesitation.

He smirks and leans on the center console. “Then come here.”

I meet him in the middle. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and moves his hand to the back of my neck to pull me in. The kiss is patient. Soft and intentional. He moves his mouth against mine like we have all the time in the world. But when I take his bottom lip between my teeth, he doesn’t hold back anymore.

Everything goes from light and delicate to a fiery inferno of want and need. He pulls on the lever to lay his seat back, tugging me on top of him.

“Fuck,” he groans.

I grind down against him, feeling how hard he is inside his jeans. “Need this. Need you.”

Letting out a light moan, he undoes his jeans and arches up enough to take them off. His cock lies against his stomach, looking like it may actually rip me in half. And the angry shade of red shows just how turned on he is. If any part of me still thought I was the only one who wants this, it’s quickly reassured.

His fingers move to the button of my pants. It’s tricky, getting them off in this position, but we manage. As my panties land on the floor of his truck, he runs his thumb over my clit—sending a shot of pleasure straight into my core.

“I can’t wait to be inside of you,” he tells me as he plays with my pussy. “Gonna feel so fucking good.”

The anticipation is going to kill me. I grab the bottom of his jersey and go to pull it over my head when he stops me and lowers it again.

“Oh no, baby,” he growls. “Leave it on. Want to fuck you while you’re wearing it.”

Let me tell you, for a guy who doesn’t do relationships, he’s awfully possessive. But mentioning that right now would bring this to a screeching halt, so instead, I lean forward and kiss him.

Feeling his two fingers dip inside of me, I moan in relief. I’ve needed him like this since the last time he did it. Nothing I’ve done, not even the vibrator Mali insisted I buy, would do the job. None of it made me feel anything close to the way he does.

“H,” I plead. “God, H.”

He smirks into the kiss. “Tell me what you want, Rochester.”

Under any other circumstances, I’d be blushing and shying away from his request, but right now? Screw it.

Pulling away, I look him straight in the eyes. “I want you to fuck me.”

“Good girl.”

I preen at the compliment as he reaches into the center console and pulls out a condom. He takes his dick in his hands and jerks it a couple times, keeping his gaze on me. I look away to watch him slide the condom over himself.

“Last chance to back out, baby,” he tells me, but I shake my head.

“Never going to happen.”

Gripping my hips, he positions me over his cock. “Thank fuck.”

Everything in me feels like it’s on fire as he rubs against my entrance, teasing and torturing. And as he starts to lower me onto him, the stretch stings and burns all at the same time. I do my best to hide the pain, but he’s paying too much attention. Before he even gets the whole tip inside, he watches as I wince slightly, and he freezes.

I look away, hoping it’ll make him keep going, but he’s not about to allow that.

“Look at me.”

I’d really rather not right now.

“Laiken,” he says, and it’s not a request. “Look at me.”

Taking a deep breath, I do as he says. He stares into my eyes. There’s a whole range of emotions on his face, but the biggest one is concern.

“Are you…”

He doesn’t finish the question, and I use that to my advantage.

“Gay?” I finish for him. “No, clearly not. Mali is attractive and all, but she’s lacking the necessary parts.”

It’s meant to be a joke, but he’s not amused.

“Are you a virgin?”

Shit. I roll my eyes like the idea is outrageous. “Psht, no. I’ve had sex plenty of times.”

Yeah, he doesn’t buy it for a second. Not that I thought he would. I’m a horrible liar, and that was the furthest thing from my best performance.

He exhales like he’s ashamed of himself and pulls out of me immediately. I throw my head back and groan as he lowers me back down, this time with his dick lying beneath my pussy instead of pulsing inside of it.

“This is so fucked up,” he says, struggling with himself.

“It’s not. I told you.” I put my forehead against his. “I want this. I want you.”

Kissing him slowly, I feel him hold back a bit and then he starts moving his mouth with mine. I move against him and let out a breathy moan when his dick twitches. I’m starting to think he’s back to being on board with this, but when I try to put him inside me again, he stops me.

“Lai,” he says, and I’m afraid of what’s going to come next. “This isn’t some random fuck we’re talking about here. It’s your first time. You deserve so much fucking more than this.”

He looks around the truck to emphasize his point.

My shoulders sag as I realize this isn’t going to happen—disappointment filling the void I would much rather fill with him. But when he notices my expression fall, he softens just a little.

“Hey.” He puts his hand on my face to make me look at him. “Just because we can’t have sex doesn’t mean I can’t still make you feel good.”

Pulling me into him, he kisses me again, this time while rubbing circles against my clit. It’s not nearly as good as I imagine fucking him would be, but God, it feels amazing. He knows exactly how to touch me, exactly how to move, to make me want to scream out.

As I start to grind against his dick, his hands slide up my stomach and underneath my bra. He grabs both my tits, toying with my nipples. When he sees the way my body reacts to his touch, he grins deviously. Pushing his jersey and my bra up just enough to leave me exposed, he covers one breast with his mouth.

And holy fucking shit.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve messed around with guys. At one point, when I thought I actually wanted to be with Craig, I jerked him off and let him feel me up. But it didn’t feel anything even remotely close to this.

This is everything.

I throw my head back, letting out sounds I have no business making. Hayes’s cheeks hollow around my nipple as he sucks on it and teases it with his tongue. Lacing my fingers into his hair, I pull him closer and grind myself harder against him.

The pressure starts to build inside me, but it’s not enough.

I need more than this.

More than his fingers.

I need him.

“Yes, baby,” he moans as he lies back. “Grind against my cock. Use me to get you off. Take what you want.”

I bite my lip in frustration. “What I want is for you to fuck me.”

His eyes narrow as he stares at me, and I know he’s thinking about it. I can feel him beneath me—feel how hard he is and how his dick is begging for release. In a last-ditch effort to push him over the edge, I look at him with nothing but pure desire in my eyes.

“Please?” I beg. “I need it. Need to feel you inside me.”

“Laiken,” he warns.

I roll my eyes. “I know, I know. I deserve better. I heard you. But that doesn’t change the fact that this is what I want. So, if you don’t want to fuck me because you genuinely just don’t want this, or because you have some weird complex about taking my virginity, that’s fine. I’ll find someone else to pop my cherry and then we can revisit this. But if you’re only doing it because you have some notion in your head that I—”

My words are cut off as he kisses me…hard. His tongue dances with mine as he lifts me up and lines himself up against me once more. And this time, as he starts to lower me onto him, he doesn’t stop.

He doesn’t pause.

He slides himself into me and kisses me through the pain.

And fuck, it hurts so good.

The feeling of his cock stretching me open is everything, and when he bottoms out, the sounds that fill the truck are straight up pornographic.

“You’re so goddamn tight,” he groans.

“I’m not hurting you, am I?” I ask, feeling a little insecure.

He chuckles breathlessly. “No, baby. You’re perfect. I’m going to move, okay?”

I nod and he uses his hold on my waist to start lifting me up and lowering me back down. For the first few times, it hurts just as much as the first, but as he quickens his pace with each thrust, the pain morphs into pleasure.

“Oh God,” I moan, feeling so good. So full of him.

He’s right along with me as he presses his head back against the headrest. “That’s it. Just like that. Fuck, Laiken. You’re so good for me.”

His words spark something inside of me, the same way they did in my bedroom. My only goal, my only care in the world, is being everything he wants me to be. And right now, all I want is to give him what he wants.

I pull his hands off me and pin them beside his head as I start to bounce on his cock. His fingers lace with mine, and his teeth sink into his lip as he watches me chase both our highs.

“I love seeing you like this,” he tells me. “Seeing you in my jersey, feeling your pussy wrapped around my dick. Can’t wait to feel you come all over me.”

A small whimper falls from my lips, and he smirks.

“Is that what you want, baby? Want to come all over my cock?”

“Yes,” I breathe. “I want to make you feel so good.”

He arches up into me. “You are. You’re making me feel so fucking good.”

Increasing my speed, I realize I’m so close. It’s right there, ready to explode like a bomb inside of me. I just need him deeper.

I need every last inch of him deep inside my pussy.

The second I release his hands he grips my waist again and pulls me down onto him—hard and rough. I drop my head onto his shoulder as I start to lose control. In this moment, nothing else exists. It’s just him and me and the way he’s fucking himself up into me while pulling me down onto him.

“Fuck, Laiken,” he moans. “I’m gonna come. Need you to come with me.”

My fingers dig into his arms, and as he reaches between us and starts to play with my clit, I’m thrown into the deep end. Hayes turns his head and kisses me, swallowing down my moans as my whole body clenches and quivers around him.

“Yes,” he pants. “Fuck, yes. Such a good girl for me.”

He thrusts a few more times, dragging out my orgasm before he follows me right off the edge. His cock pulses inside me as he empties everything he has into the condom.

My head stays rested on his shoulder as the two of us try to regain our breathing. All the windows are fogged up, like something you see out of a movie, and I smile as I lift my hand up and put it on the window, sliding it down until I reach the door.

Hayes snickers as he watches me. “Titanic, really?”

“What?” I argue. “It’s a classic.”

He may act like I’m ridiculous, but the grin on his face says otherwise—as do the circles he’s mindlessly rubbing against my back.

We stay like that for a few more minutes, until it starts to get uncomfortable. With a soft kiss pressed to my head, he lifts me off him and places me back in the passenger seat.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he questions as he takes the condom off and hands me my clothes.

I shake my head with a smile. “No. Not at all.”

“Good.”

He’s almost fully dressed while I’m still trying to find my panties. When he notices, he smirks and holds them up.

“Looking for these?”

I nod, but when I go to grab them, he pulls them away and shoves them into his pocket.

“I’m keeping them,” he tells me. “Get dressed.”

That shouldn’t be nearly as hot as it is. But yet, even as I pull my jeans on and feel how uncomfortable they are without underwear on, I can’t stop thinking about it.

“Wait.” I narrow my eyes at him. “That’s not some weird fetish of yours, is it? Do you have a whole stash of women’s panties in your room?”

He snorts. “So glad you think I’m such a man-whore, Rochester.”

“That’s not what I—” I clamp my mouth shut and huff.

Could he have a whole drawer in his dresser filled with tokens of the girls he’s fucked? Sure. Will he tell me if he does or not? Not a chance in hell. There’s no way to answer the question without making him look a way he doesn’t want to look.

If he tells me he does, it looks like I’m just another number. Another random fuck to him.

And if he tells me he doesn’t, he’s admitting that I mean more to him than any of the women he’s slept with before me.

It’s essentially a trick question. There’s no winning for him.

HALFWAY BACK TO MY house, we’re listening to the radio and my hand is hanging out the window—feeling the breeze between my fingers. I sing along with the music as I lay my head back. Hayes looks over at me and smiles before resting his hand on my leg.

It’s such a small gesture, and to anyone else it might be insignificant, but butterflies take over my stomach because of it. The possibility of what could come next weighs heavily in the back of my mind, but I push it away. I refuse to ruin this by overthinking. I can worry about it later.

Right now, I just want to enjoy this.

We pull up to my house ten minutes later, and thankfully, no one is home yet. There’s no telling what any of my family would say if they saw Hayes dropping me off. Cam, especially.

I unbuckle my seatbelt, but he doesn’t move his hand from my thigh.

“You sure you’re okay?” he asks, sounding genuinely worried about it.

It’s cute, really. “Yeah, I’m good. I promise.”

Satisfied with my answer, he glances at the house and then leans over to kiss me once more. It’s not a pity kiss, or an obligational one, it’s just…nice. He pulls away and looks at me with something unexplainable in his eyes.

“Goodnight, beautiful.”

My breathing stutters. “Goodnight.”

Climbing out of the truck, I’m about to shut the door when he stops me.

“Oh, and Laiken?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re enough of a distraction at our games,” he tells me. “If you expect us to win, I’d consider not dressing like that again.”

My grin widens as I giggle. “Got it. Next time, I’ll wear a trench coat.”

His eyes narrow. “With clothes under it?”

I shrug. “We’ll see.”

His head falls back, and he whines as I close the door and head inside. He can enjoy picturing that mental image for the rest of the night. Meanwhile, I go straight up to my room and change into something more comfortable.

With every move I make, I can feel it.

The way he stretched me open.

The soreness he left behind.

I throw myself backward onto my bed and bite my lip. It may not have been the way I pictured losing my virginity, but I wouldn’t change a thing.

I’M LYING IN BED, reading a book, but I can barely get through a couple paragraphs without my mind wandering. It’s been a few hours since Hayes dropped me off, and it only took about twenty minutes before the anxiety started to set in.

If past experiences are anything to go by, this is when he goes into retreat mode. When he regrets every single thing that just happened and texts me to let me know it was a mistake.

That he’s sorry.

That it won’t happen again.

I thought about texting him, but as hard as it may be, I’m trying to refrain from doing that tonight. If he were to leave me on read again, the perfect little bubble I’m living in right now will pop and I’ll be forced to deal with the pain of him going cold again.

Forcing myself to go back to reading, I finally manage to make it through a page and a half, when my phone dings. Both excitement and fear rush through me, but they both die down as I see it’s just Mali.

Okay, spill. How big is it?

A bark of laughter shoots out of me as I text back.

You’re crude.

After a second, I send another.

At least a solid eight, maybe nine. And thick.

Well damn, go Wilder. Be careful, though. That thing could rip your cockhole.

My cockhole? 🤣

Well, it’s either that or a tamponhole, and that’s not nearly as fun.

Seriously, sometimes I wonder what is wrong with her.

🙄 And on that note, goodnight Mal.

Her responses come one right after another, as if she has no problem blowing up my phone if that’s what it takes.

Wait!

I need details!

You can’t leave me hanging like this. It’s just wrong.

Laiken Rose!

Don’t you dare go to sleep on me. I did not stick around through all of this to not find out if my sexpectations were met or not!

Ugh. You’re a bitch. I love you.

I chuckle and put down my phone. She can wait until tomorrow morning. Besides, this is a conversation I’d much rather have in person. I don’t need my parents or Cam overhearing me, or getting ahold of my phone.

Rule number one of keeping something a secret: never put it in writing.

My phone dings again and I sigh, picking it up and expecting it to be Mali, but when I see a number that I recognize but don’t have saved in my phone, my heart sinks.

Hayes.

I take a deep breath, holding it for five seconds before letting it out. It’s supposed to help with my nerves, but it does fuck all right now. There’s no telling what could be in that message.

All I know is if it’s another apology text, I’m going to shove his phone so far up his ass, he’ll need to have it surgically removed.

I give myself another minute to compose myself, and then silently count to three before swiping it open.

What are you up to?

Okay. That’s definitely not the worst.

Unless he’s leading up to it…

Lying in bed and reading a book. You?

It goes from delivered to read instantly, and the three dots that appear have more of an effect on me than they should.

Imagining you in a trench coat.

My face hurts from the smile that stretches across it.

Hidden fantasy of yours or something?

You are the hidden fantasy. Just you.

I grab my pillow and squeal into it, realizing how ridiculous it is but not caring in the slightest. I’m not thinking about how this may end, or how it could all go wrong. I’m not anticipating getting my heart broken or thinking about ways I could try to get him to want a relationship. I’m simply living in the moment.

I send back a kissy face emoji and a heart and put my phone down as I cuddle into my pillow, smiling from ear to ear.

He’s not taking it back this time.

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