Samantha

He looked so peaceful.

The frown was gone from his face, and his hands were relaxed at his sides. It made his beautiful frame all the more appealing. I stared at him from my chair by the window before taking out my cell phone to answer some messages and make a few calls.

It was late in the afternoon now. Luke had asked to spend the night at a friend’s house and I quickly obliged. At the very least, it gave me an extra day or two to figure out how to explain this situation.

I called Michael so that he could catch me up on the goings-on of the day. Luckily we were heading into the weekend, so I wouldn’t be expected in the office for a bit. He asked about what was going on and I was honest with him. I gave him the overview, and he stayed quiet until I was done.

“I’ll handle Emerick,” he said, finally.

I chuckled.

“I’m glad that’s what you pulled out of all of that,” I told him.

“Sam, I’ve told you before, you need to figure this shit out,” he said. “I’m not going to waste my breath trying to talk you into some sort of plan. You’re going to do what you want anyway. It sounds like Yvonne already told you what you need to know, so go ahead and dwell on it for tonight. Let me know what you decide.”

I smiled, “This is why you’re my beta, Michael.”

He huffed, “So you can send me to an early grave?”

“Because you know how to support me without trying to control me,” I told him, honestly. “You see through the bullshit and you’re loyal to a fault.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, dismissively. “Anything else I can help coordinate while you’re on lover lockdown?”

“‘Lover lockdown’. My word, Beta Stevens,” I teased. “Did you just make a joke?”

“Cass is working on it,” he said, drily.

I laughed. “Well I’ll pass along the success. I think I’ve got everything handled for the most part. Can you just make sure nobody has access to the house unless I buzz them? Luke’s at a friend’s for the weekend and my parents took a trip out of town so no one should need to be here unannounced.”

“Yes, but I would like to keep my access in case of emergency,” he requested.

“Fine,” I agreed. “Thank you, Michael.”

He ended the call without a goodbye as usual. Most people found him unapproachable, but I had witnessed his softer side. Above all, he was there for me when I needed him without expecting anything in return. It was a rarity in my position.

I hoped that his conversation with Emerick was a productive one. I worried what lengths my ex-boyfriend would go to if he thought there was still a chance for us. Once again, I kicked myself for inadvertently leading him on for the last year. He was a good friend but perhaps I should have been more firm.

As I stressed over coulda-shoulda-woulda's his name appeared on my caller ID.

Speak of the devil.

“Hey, Em,” I said, quietly, glancing up at the sleeping man on my bed.

“Hi, Sam,” he greeted. “How are you?”

“I’m… okay,” I told him cautiously.

“Hmm,” he acknowledged. “Michael called.”

“Oh?” I feigned innocence. “And?”

He sighed. “He told me to let you go, and to give you space.”

“So you immediately called me?” I asked.

“Yeah, that was probably dumb,” he reflected. “I just need to know that that’s what you want.”

“I want you to understand that there’s nothing romantic between us, Em,” I told him, honestly. “That there hasn’t been for the last year, and there won’t be. You’re a dear friend, but that’s all there is.”

“If he wasn’t here, there could be more,” he said, quietly. “There was before.”

I bit my lip. I was going to have to hurt his feelings and I hated it. I needed to give him the truth I had never spoken out loud.

“If I didn’t meet him, there still wouldn’t have been a happily ever after for us,” I said, firmly. “I’m sorry, but I’ve thought about it a lot and I don’t think there’s a way we would’ve worked out. You were a person I leaned into and I was attracted to at a very vulnerable time. I appreciate all that you were and all that you are to me, but eventually it wouldn’t have been enough.”

The line stayed quiet and I fought back tears at the pain I knew I was causing my friend. He told me once that he felt more for me than he ever had for any other woman, and I just told him it wasn’t the same on my end. Even though we hadn’t been together in a year, I hurt for him. Nevertheless, I knew he needed to hear it so that he could move on.

“I will always care about you as a friend, Em,” I said when he still didn’t respond. “I value your friendship and all that you have done for Luke. You’re a great role model for him, and we both appreciate you so much. All I want for you is to let me go so that you can find happiness.”

“Thank you for your honesty, Sam,” he finally said, his voice thick. “I appreciate your friendship as well.”

“I’m sorry,” I apologized again.

“There’s nothing for you to be sorry for,” he said, quickly. “It’s the same thing you’ve said before, I just didn’t want to believe it.”

“Thanks you,” I said quietly.

“Call if you need anything,” he said. “I’ll leave you alone until I hear from you.”

“I’ll let you know when I’m ready,” I promised.

“Okay, Sammy,” he agreed.

We said our goodbyes, and I hung up. I still wasn’t convinced he had truly let things drop, but I said what I needed to.

I watched out the window as the sun sunk behind the mountains, bathing the valley below in darkness. I had come to love this time of the day as a werewolf. Keen senses and power beyond that of a human took away the fear I felt before in the dark forest. I could truly just enjoy the peace and stillness as night enveloped the landscape. Any other time, I might have gone on to my deck with a glass of wine, but tonight I was keeping watch.

Ivar’s breathing was slow and deep. In the quiet room, it lulled me towards sleep. I tried to keep myself awake with a book. Eventually, I felt my eyelids grow heavy. I thought about sleeping on the floor, but I had trouble sleeping of late as it was. While I dressed and brushed my teeth in the bathroom, I tried to hype myself up.

It’s a king bed, I thought, There will be plenty of room between us.

Still, as I slipped in next to the powerful king, I felt my heart rate increase. I laid on my side and stared at his profile. He was arguably the most beautiful man I had ever seen. His lips were parted slightly in deep sleep, and I licked mine at the thought of how he would taste.

Rein it in, sister, I chastised myself.

I rolled away from him and let the sound of his breathing carrying me to sleep.

~

It was still dark when I woke up. I glanced at the clock on my nightstand to see it was only four in the morning. It took me a moment to gather my bearings. When I did, I realized I was wrapped around the body of a large man.

Oh shit.

It all came flooding back to me in an instant and my eyes flew open wide. I could hear a strong heartbeat from where my ear rested on Ivar’s muscled chest.

Well at least he’s still alive.

Slowly, I started to extricate my limbs from his, careful not to wake him.

“You’re fine where you are, little wolf.”

His voice broke through the quiet and I yelped in surprise. He chuckled, a deep rumble against my cheek.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized. “Did I wake you?”

“No, I’ve been awake for about an hour,” he said.

I counted back.

“Well, you were out for about 12 hours then. Just like the doctor predicted.”

“Mhmm,” he hummed his agreement.

“How are you feeling?” I asked, quietly.

“Better,” he said but didn’t elaborate.

We stayed that way for what felt like eternity. I soaked in the feeling of his body pressed against mine. Just his touch seemed to eliminate the pain that had plagued me for so long.

I yawned, feeling sleep once again draw me back. Before I slipped away completely, I felt Ivar stir beneath me.

“I really don’t want to move,” he said, quietly. “But I have to pee so fucking badly.”

I laughed and he joined.

“Then go, you ding dong,” I teased.

He became serious. “Only if we can do this again when I get back.”

I nodded against his chest, nuzzling in close before releasing him. He reluctantly pulled himself from the bed before heading to the bathroom. I stared at the ceiling as the pain of missing him settled into my bones. Now that we were so close, it felt like the pressure of the incomplete bond was growing. My mind drifted back to what Dr. Martin had said yesterday.

Just as the anxiety started to hit, Ivar emerged once again. The stiffness and limp that hindered his gait the day before was all but gone. He moved with the grace and confidence one would expect from the all-powerful warrior as he crawled back into bed next to me. I immediately wrapped my body around his, feeling the analgesic power his touch provided.

“The pain becomes intense more quickly now that we’re so close,” Ivar said, reading my thoughts.

“Mhmm,” I murmured, nuzzling into his neck and breathing in his masculine scent.

I felt him stiffen slightly.

“Little wolf, you’re treading in dangerous waters,” he warned quietly.

In that moment, I didn’t care. My body called to him, craved his touch. I needed as much of his skin against mine as possible and I wanted the smell of him wrapped around me. I pushed my hand under his shirt to rest along his bare skin. His chiseled torso rippled against my touch.

Eventually, I made my way completely on top of him. Our chests rising and falling in sync as I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my nose against the smooth skin behind his ear. As I drifted off, I barely felt Ivar’s hands trail their way over my body, coaxing me further into unconsciousness.

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