Julia felt trembling and she awoke. The feeling of something roaring her name from deep within her mind faded as the last part of her dreams slipped away into forgetfulness. Her eyes shot up as she looked around the room and the trembling softened and then died. It was still dark outside.

The shaking had caused smoke tendrils to rise from the ashes of her fireplace. She sat up, took the closest phone book and tour out a few sheets of paper, stacked a few small logs and rekindled the fire. She pulled the sleeping bag up to her face and watched the flames. She imagined that she looked like a great worm from one of her favorite childhood novels.

If only I could control my body the way those women could do in those books, perhaps I wouldn’t need so much pain medicine.

She didn’t want to leave her warm cocoon. The thought of the freezing metal–braces pinned against her bones put an edge on the pain in her spine. She reached out and quickly added twigs, bark and then small logs to the fire. Once the fire was nice and hot and she began feeling her face again, she crawled outside of her sleeping bag.

Her stomach growled but it was hunger and not that strange vibrating that left her feeling paranoid that someone was searching for her. She reached over to her duffle bag and pulled out a can of beans, opened the lid and set it in the fire.

As the fire heated up her beans, she saw her leftovers from Waffle House and the jar of instant coffee. She poured all the leftovers into a tin Pan and set it on the fire. She took the tin cup and realized that she was out of water.

She sighed feeling tired and lazy. The thought of water made her want to take a bath but it would be a lot of work to get everything ready. All she wanted to do was take her meds and lay in bed all day.

However, on second thought, a year of lying around was enough.

She was going to see an Air Force officer today. The doctors were going to examine her and she was going to get a job.

I’ll need to be very clean.

She picked up her phone and looked at the time: 5:45 AM. She had to fix the well pump before she could get one drop of water. It would be a lot of work just to fill up her tin cup. The thought of all the pumping it would take to fill a bathtub had her body hurting.

She put back on the clothing she had warn last night, took what she needed to fix the pump and stepped onto the back porch. The morning air was very crisp. The thick mountain fog concealed the beautiful range of peaks and valleys but she looked past all that and fixed her eyes on the broken pump.

She pulled a flashlight out of her pocket. It was time to get to work.

It took 45 minutes to get the old pump off the well. She had taken a few breaks to warm up her hands in the fire, stir her food and take a few bites. Then 10 more minutes to remove the broken hinge that had snapped off the pump and then another 20 minutes to put it all back together again. When everything was ready, she held her breath as she slowly pumped the lever up and down and then her squeal turned into laughter as water began trickling out of the spout.

She walked back inside, stirred and ate a little more food and took the tin cup along with a few plastic bags back outside. After filling everything with water, she returned to the house in four separate trips and set her tin cup in the fire. Then she rinsed out her old bathtub, stuck a plastic bag in the drain, got more water and then, after several more trips to the well she filled the bathtub up with a few inches of very cold water.

The pain in her body was unbearable. She let the water sit in the bathtub as she emptied the steaming food from the tin pan and scraped it back into the plastic plate. Then she found a small cooking pot that she must have bought from Walmart and filled it, along with her pan, with water and stuck it back on the fire. Then as the water heated, she took her pain medicine and ate the last of her breakfast.

When she was done eating, she took her pot and pans of hot water and the shampoo into the bathtub and held her breath as she stepped into the very cold water. A squeal escaped as the cold water cut to the titanium pins in her bones. She gasped as the jolt of pain moved into her limbs. Then she breathed quick breaths and poured the hot water from the pot and pans over her to rinse off.

After washing and then drying off in front of the fireplace, she put on her new civilian clothes, which fit where they should and she felt like a woman again.

Today is going to be a busy day.

She sat down before the fire one more time and drank a cup of coffee. The hot liquid warmed her from the inside and she felt her brain begin to wake up. The time on her phone said 8:24 AM. There was just enough time to walk to the Air Force recruiting office just as they opened.

On the way out, she stopped by the mailbox and removed all the mail. As she walked, she thumbed through all the old advertisements and tossed them into her duffel bag. These bills had been sitting in the mailbox for a very long time.

All but a few letters in the mail were unpaid bills. A few letters stood out. The one that caught her attention the most was from Child Protection Services. She swallowed hard thinking that maybe something had happened to Noah.

What if he had been waiting for me all this time?

Then she remembered Tonya from the bank saying that Child Support had withdrawn against her account but since the account was depleted, they had put it on hold.

She ripped open the sealed envelope and pulled out the oldest dated letter. The letter read that she had 30 days to pay the balance of her Child Support dues or they would arrest her, suspend her license to drive and revoke her passport. She laughed at that, wondering what the Air Force would do if she couldn’t travel around the world and take care of business because Child Support had revoked her passport. She knew they’d make her pay and she’d be glad to pay but...

Why would they revoke my driver’s license and passport if they wanted me to keep my job or get a new one?

The drug was making her feel better. Her body was hurting less but with it, her mind lost focus, so she guessed that she misunderstood what the letter was saying. Then she read it again but the meaning of the letter was the same. She wondered why they would take away the very thing she needed in order to make money and pay child support?

She tossed the letter into her duffel bag and opened the next three envelopes from them. They all said the same thing; only this letter said that they had suspended her license to drive. There was a number on the bottom of the letter, so she pulled out her phone and called it. Surely, these people could understand that she was going through a hard time and that by suspending her passport and driver’s license they would only cause further harm.

An automated voicemail answered and after selecting a few buttons, a very bored sounding woman referred to herself in the third person as Mrs. Smith. Julia said, “Hi Ms. Smith my name is Julia. My number is 842248. I am on my way to rent a car. I’m applying and will have an interview for a new job, hopefully today. I just returned home from the war and I haven’t been able to speak with my son or ex–husband. Could you please reinstate my driver’s license, I promise you my intentions and actions have only been in the highest interest of my child.”

Mrs. Smith’s voice took on an air of authority, “Well you should have thought of that before you stopped paying your child support. I can’t reinstate your driver’s license until you pay the minimum $700 and then sign a promissory note that you will pay $600 every month until your child reaches adulthood.”

Julia said, “I have a little over $300 in my name right now. I just came home and found myself in the most difficult situation I have been in since my parents died. I just took a bath in freezing cold water, in a house with no electricity and I ate food that I heated in my fireplace. Can you please explain to me why you have taken away my license to drive when that is the very thing that would help a crippled lady find a job and keep it?”

“I did not make the law Miss. You are required to pay the minimum $700 and then you can get your license back.”

“But if I had my license now I can get a job now. I am more than happy to pay whatever my son needs. Miss Smith, I will have a job interview today. I have to see a doctor. I am in a lot of pain and I have to make many other very important errands. Can I give you 25% of all the money I have now and then you give me back my license? And can my ex–husband do anything about this?”

“Your ex–husband can drop his case with child support services and that would get your driver’s license back. And, no ma’am I’m not going to say this again, you must pay $700 in full and be able to pay $600 every month from then on– then I can reinstate your driver’s license.”

“My Uncle, God rest his soul, was an alcoholic, He got DUIs but they gave him a temporary license to drive to work and back? Can’t you at least give me a permit to drive to work and back? Wouldn’t that be in the best interest of my child?”

“I already told you. Pay the $700 and sign the note that you won’t be a deadbeat anymore. Now, is there anything else I can do for you Miss.”

“A deadbeat!” Julia yelled and then hung up the phone. She was ready to throw it as hard as she could onto the asphalt road but at the last second, she realized she would only be hurting her arm and therefore hurting her son too.

Instead, she tried calling her ex–husband’s phone number again but the voice mail picked up. She said through gritted teeth, “What are you doing? Are you that mad at me that you kick me when I’m at my lowest? All you’ve ever done is hurt me. I’ve supported you all these years,” Tears began flowing and she inhaled sharply,” All I need is a little more time. “Call Child Support, get them to give me back my driver’s license and then call me!”

Then she hung up and the ground began to shake. The shaking continued longer than it normally lasted and she began to wonder if her anger had triggered it...

She shook her head, as she wiped away the tears thinking that was silly. She looked toward the mountain where the mining had been going on but tall trees blocked the way for her to see it. Her imagination got the best of her and she envisioned blowing up the whole damn mountain. The thought triggered a succession of other memories from the war, many of which all ended with bombers, fire and death.

She closed her eyes, feeling trapped and all alone. The thought of taking all her pain meds came–

How easy it would be to make all these problems go away…

Then the idea went and she shook her head. She still didn’t know where her son was. Above all else, locating him was the most important thing she could do. Giving up was not an option now but there were so many problems between her and finding her son. She ignored the passing cars until an old jeep stopped in fron of her. She smiled it was Andrew.

He had the door open when she approached and when she sat down he had a big smile on his face. She really liked that smile. She said, “What is a guy like you working as a cook at Waffle House?”

Andrew’s smile widened. He said, “Why, I was waiting for a girl like you to walk in my store, so I could cook her dinner.”

“You are so full of it. I bet you say that to all the girls.”

“No, I just said that to one beautiful girl. A girl who’d rather make me drive up and down the road from 8 AM until 9:30 AM rather than call me and ask for a ride. I’d only say those kinds of things to that very special girl.”

Julia wanted to kiss him right then but instead she looked out the window. She said, “Andrew, you don’t want anything to do with a girl like me.”

Andrew laughed, “And you’re telling this to a guy who’s a cook at Waffle House.”

Julia shook her head, “There’s nothing wrong with being a cook at Waffle House. My guess is that one day you’ll be running not just one Waffle House but 50 of them.”

“Well, I am in college for business management. And Julia, we don’t have to get serious or anything I just think you’re very pretty and I would love to be the man who helps you when you need it most.”

“I don’t need a sugar daddy.”

Andrew laughed as he pointed to his cook’s apron. “Not charity, not really because right now, I just want to be a good friend and when you’re ready, I want you to be thinking of me. Besides, I don’t have much to give right now anyway but I’ll do what I can.”

Now Julia really wanted to kiss him but she laughed and said, “You’re a cheese ball.”

Andrew nodded and smiled showing his teeth. He asked, “So where are you heading now?”

“I am heading all over the place,” Julia said, “I’ve got to get a new calling card, I have to stop by the Air Force recruitment office and then,“she pulled out the flyer for the free health clinic today, “I have to see a doctor before I start smoking weed with you.”

Andrew rolled his eyes and said, “Okay, let’s go to Walmart.”

They pulled into Walmart and Andrew parked the Jeep. Before she could say anything, he jumped out of the Jeep and ran inside. Julia opened her door, climbed down onto the parking lot and started walking. But before she could get to the entry doors, Andrew ran back out of Walmart, past her, jumped in the Jeep and then pulled up next to the front doors where she was standing– shaking her head. He opened the Jeep door for her and said, “We’ll get in.” He waved a $50 calling card and Julia slowly climbed back in the Jeep.

When she got in the Jeep, she pulled out a $50 bill and handed it to him. He said, “No, it’s my gift for you.”

“Thank you Andrew but it’s okay, I’ve budgeted for it.”

Andrew shook his head and said, “Where’re we going now?”

Julia looked at him for a long moment. He placed his hands on the steering wheel and looked forward.

“I need to go to the Air Force office now. This may take a while.”

“I can wait,” Andrew said.

“Andrew, you are very sweet but what I have to say to these officers may require security clearance. Hell, they may not even have high enough security clearance to answer my questions. If you are with me, it’s just going to make this take longer.”

Andrew sank in his seat a little as his shoulders drooped and his eyes looked away from her eyes. Then he tried to hide his disappointment but it was too late. He asked, “When will I see you again?”

“When’s the next time you work?”

“I work tonight from 9 PM until 2 AM.”

“Okay, I will stop by Waffle House on my way home and you can make me another one of your amazing omelets.”

As if a light bulb in his head had just turned on, Andrew’s eyes brightened. He said, “I’ll be waiting.”

Julia entered the Air Force recruitment office with war on her mind. This madness had to stop. She had not worked so hard and been through so much for her to end up homeless or in jail.

A tall man in a crisp uniform greeted her at the door and led her to a seat in front of a small metal desk. He asked, “How can I help you Miss?”

Julie explained everything that had happened to her since getting off the Greyhound bus. Then she handed him her driver’s license and he began to type her information into his computer. After several minutes, he looked over his screen and said, “Julia, I don’t have a single record of you ever being in the Air Force or in any military.”

Julia snorted, “I walked into this very office over four years ago and joined the Air Force. Where is Officer Peterson? In fact, why don’t you contact my commanding officers and we can let them tell you what I’ve been doing for the past few years.”

The officer smiled and shook his head. Then she gave him the name and rank of everyone she knew within her chain of command.

The officer typed in each person’s name and each time the computer gave the same answer, “THIS FILE CANNOT BE REACHED.”

The officer began making phone calls and then they waited... 1hr:30 minutes later he got a return call and the color in his face seemed to drain. Slowly, he hung up the phone and looked at Julia. He swallowed hard and said, “Miss Anderson, I am sorry but I can’t help you right now.”

“What do you mean you can’t help me right now. I know you just talked to someone who told you something very important about me. My life is falling apart now and I need your help!”

Then everyone turned toward the mountains as a boom followed by aftershocks rippled through the ground. The trembling continued for several seconds as everyone gripped their desk. When the Earth had stopped shaking Julia said, “And what about all that damn shaking? What is going on in that mountain?”

The officer held his breath as he glanced at the other officers in the room. He said, “Mining.”

Then the officer reached in his back pocket and pulled out all the cash in his wallet. He handed it to Julia but Julia shook her head and said, “I have more than enough money if you guys would just give me what I earned.”

“Julia, believe me if there was more I could do right now I would do it. It seems that a whole lot more than just files have gone missing. Although I don’t have more information about you right now, every person on that list has vanished. These are all, special officers, so for you to have named all of them is very suspicious. The officers on the phone were acting weird too.”

“Weird, what do you mean by weird?” Julia asked.

“I don’t know. One minute they seemed normal, and then the next minute they acted as if they didn’t know what I was talking about. When I asked them again about you, they told me to call back later... Off the record, I believe you Miss. But, since you do not exist on any of our records, I can’t help you more. What I can do is give you what I have right now and follow–up with you as soon as possible. I have your number. As soon as I know something, I will call you.”

Julia was ready to vent her rage at him but the sincerity in his gesture made her think twice. Things were going very badly. As she thought about it, all of this connected–somehow to her accident. She had been moved from hospital to hospital and no one would tell her where she was. Her military records had vanished, her bank accounts erased and even her son and ex–husband were missing. Now all of her commanding officers were missing two...

The officer stood up and walked around the desk. He helped Julia to her feet and placed the cash in his hand inside her bag. Her mind felt fuzzy. She didn’t want more charity but now she really needed it. The officer turned and started toward the door, opened it for her and then held it open as she slowly made her way outside.

She walked to the end of the strip mall and stared out into the mountains. She was in a daze as if someone had just struck her hard on the back of the head. After a moment, she realized that she was staring at the mountain where all the mining had been going on.

She thought,

I have to keep moving forward.

The pain in her neck and back, the pain in her whole body reminded her of the free clinic just across the street. She looked at her phone, saw that she had 20 minutes to get there and she left.

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